Need Advice About My 8 Year Old Son's Friend

It’s all over the news. So you can expect the next discussion to be about ED. That’s on every radio commercial. “Mommy what’s ED?”
But to the other boy, if you know the parent I’d certainly bring it up to them. I’d want to know if that was part of my child’s vocabulary at such an early age.

I think that if you try to talk to this other boy's mother, you're going to end up going down a very very long road with no end. In other words, your child is going to start hearing all kinds of things as he progresses through school. He'll hear rumors (one of my kids was told, by a young classmate, that you can "catch" diabetes from drinking milk), he'll hear inappropriate words and downright obscene words, he'll hear about sex (sometimes accurate, sometimes wildly inaccurate), he'll hear ridiculous jokes that are only funny if you're 8, and he'll hear remarks that can be hateful and cruel to a particular group of people (based on race, disability, appearance, etc).

Trying to hunt down the source, or alert other parents, will generally be useless. The exception would be if your child reports an actual threat to someone, an actual plan to harm someone, or someone who is being bullied who states that suicide may be their only way out, etc.

Instead, now is the time to start really strengthening your own child. Teach him how to ignore some things, not to repeat some things, how to stand up for someone who is being bullied, how to discern between something critical that should be reported to an adult like a school threat or when someone is talking about harming himself or herself, and how to talk to you about things he doesn't understand. Talk to him about modesty, about not discussing certain things like "peeing on someone" in school.

Don't spend your time wondering where your son's friend heard this term. Instead, spend your time helping your son know what to do with the things he will hear and see in the world. Make sure your son knows that if he hears someone talking about something that he doesn't understand, he can come to you, even if it's a curse word or a sexual term. You are available to listen, to guide, to inform. Help your son develop modesty, respect for all the boys and girls in his class, and the ability to be a positive role model for others, so that when classmates repeat what they heard from your son, it's all good.

I agree it's all over the news and has been for 2 years. Kids pick up stuff they hear from others, and it's no reflection on the child he heard it from. Kids are also learning phrases like "grab her by the p*ssy" and so on just by being in the next room when parents have the news on. And yes, as said below, there are commercials about medications for erectile dysfunction, as there now are for painful periods and pain with intercourse.

Going back over the generations, remember there have been pee jokes forever. I remember growing up with silly book titles, like "The Yellow River" by I. P. Daily. Unless your kid is associating "golden showers" with peeing for sexual gratification as opposed to just peeing, I'd let it go. Just tell your child that pee and poop and potty jokes are funny to little kids but bigger kids grow out of them. Does he want to be seen as a little kid or a bigger boy with more maturity? Ask him that.

Kids joke about stuff - they hear it from older kids on the bus or from older siblings. It's really not a reflection on a "nice family" (whatever that means). I do think it's okay to say to a child in your house, "We don't use those words in this house. Do you want to talk about it at somewhere else, or do you want to stay here and play?"

Welcome to Mamapedia.

Obviously it's all over the news. The "R Kelly" stuff. Without getting into politics it even was discussed related to the President.

So I guess this child might watch the news.

what Suz says.

This kid probably heard on bus that morning, or from older kid on playground.

Chances are it's the word of the week. Your child has likely participated in something before himself. Most kiddos do.

Imagine being 8 and hearing something like that from a 5th grader - you're going to share that with other little boys. It could have gone down like that. Don't assume mom and dad are talking about this in front of their son at home.

I'd say it's just nonsense that's going around and we don't need to repeat.

If it's an ongoing issue with this particular child (has inappropriate behavior), you can casually encourage your child to play with his other buds more on the playground. Mostly though, focus on your child and how he can handle. We told ours that we weren't into them engaging in that kind of nonsense talk and to go off and play/have real fun instead.

This child could have picked it up anywhere, please don't go to the mother and make it a thing.
Honestly I remember an older neighbor kid telling me about sex and how babies were made when I was like 5 or 6 years old, and this was pre cable TV, pre internet days, in rural Iowa! Children pick up everything and from anywhere, your job is to listen and make sure they understand the facts not the gossip and misinformation.

M. T

Welcome to mamapedia!

You DO NOT go to the other child's mother. You don't worry about what HE said. You worry about what your SON LISTENS TO AND SHARES WITH YOU!!

DO NOT go to the other mom - it will NOT fix the situation.

What you need to do is keep being the one your son comes to and tell him what's going on. For example - my kids came home after middle school talking about a "rainbow job" that they heard about. We talked about it - it's where girls put lipstick on and take turns giving a guy oral sex and it makes a "rainbow" on his genitals. Pretty sad, eh? I told the boys that yep - that happens however I feel sorry for the boy - now he won't know WHO gave him an STD IF he gets one...and I feel sorry for the girls - that they don't respect themselves enough to NOT do that.

As to your son and the "golden showers"?? I would tell him that there are people in the world who have VERY STRANGE preferences (people who love to suck toes, feet turn them on and other things that the AVERAGE person would NOT find attractive or "normal") and there are people who oblige them with their preferences. To each his own. If it's not breaking a law and being forced upon you? I wouldn't stress over it.

Good luck!

Talk with your son's teacher first. The teacher will talk with the parents. You don't know the parents or how they will react.

I suggest that kids know these terms because they are talked about and kids hear them. Parents may not realize that this stuff is verywhere. Some kids pick up on it. Others don't.

I totally agree with Elena!