Need Advice - Fredericksburg, VA

Kids respond at different ages. Give him so time and it should work out. I know I am in the same boat with my son. I was just informed just resently that he might have a learning disability. Just keep working with him. It takes time. Good luck.

AAAACCCHHHH!!! I can't believe they expect them to know so much, on one hand, on the other... their agenda is completely to get them ready for K which is also expecting way more than they should for that age. Standards for public schooling and even some private schools have been changed because of SOL's and trying to keep up with other countries. My friend, who is degreed in early childhood education and development and makes the curriculum for our children's church, is not in agreement necessarily with all the expectations put on the very young children in public school. That said. Your son is still very young and he will catch up. This time in his life his little brain is developing so many other skills.... fine and gross motor, cognitive, speech and language, spacial etc. There are probably areas where he greatly excels, but it isn't as readily recognized by the teacher because the teachers agenda is very singular, very curriculum based.

I also need to make sure that I say... your son is doing SO AWESOME. I only hope that my 3 year old will know all that in 6 mos. I have a 4 yr old as well, who has severe delays in language and speech, but I have faith that he also will catch up, with the help from mamma and the speech therapist I expect he'll be on track by the time he's 7 or 8, but even if he isn't I'm not worried about it. I'm determined to help him any way I can, which is why I've decided to go back to school to get my degree in education. :0)

Hi R.,
The other ladies who have responded are right on track! I have two boys. One is fabulous and doing very well in school, did very well in pre-school. My younger one just started pre-school/daycare and is where the other kids are but I see him learning new things every day.

Kids learn differently and they are all their own individuals. It's so important to remember that. If the teacher makes you feel like he's not doing well, talk to her again. This should be a time of play/learning and fun - not just a lot of learning. They are children.

What one of the other Mom's said about how some are in daycare since day one and yours just started - of course he might be a little behind the rest, he's still adjusting to their way. He will be just fine and actually sounds like he is doing really, really well.

If you really are concerned, you really should talk to the pediatrician about it - they know where your child should be developmentally.

Hang in there! You know him best and will do what is best for him.

Hi R....in my opinion...your son is a genius!!! I have a 3 year old as well!! He can recognize numbers up to 5 and has a hard time counting to 5...I'm working on that! My daughter who just started kindergarten this year JUST learned how to count to one hundred (1's, 5's, and 10's). So, for the teacher to say that...she's wrong. And not only is she wrong for saying that your son should KNOW how to do that...every child is different and has their own learning pattern and schedule. If your son can count to 10 with no troubles...YOU count your blessings!! Sounds like your son is doing a wonderful job and you and your husband are doing a great job!!! I was told my daughter is one of the smartest in her class...so that should say something about your son. I, too, am 29 years old. I have a 5, 3, and a 1 year old. And that teacher needs to do some reading!!! Kudos to you and your husband for having such a smart kid!!!

Ok, I have been working in day care for almost 4 years now. I do not know very many 3 year olds at all that can count by 10's or recognize numbers all the way to 100. Unless the children that this teacher is referring to is far advanced. Learning the days of the week is something that our center starts in the infant class. Every classroom has the same music to play during morning activities and the children tend to pick the songs up rather quickly (most of the children know the entire cd of songs by the time they enter our three year old class and can sing them with and without the music).

A lot of the children in our center are just beginning to recognize their letters when they move up to our three year old room. I think your son is doing great. I just looked for my assessment sheet that we use when evaluating the children to see if they are ready for the next class, but evidentelly I have taken my copy back to work). I would ask the teacher what kind of assessments are done in their center and ask to see how it works. We use the Denver's screening to see if the children are doing what they should be for their age level.

I do not think your son is slow in any sense. From what you have said here, I think he is right on track if not a little ahead. This is just my opinion, but I think your son may be still trying to adjust to school. Sometimes it can take them a long time to get fully adjusted to the academic part of preschool.

I say keep doing what you are doing and if you are concerned talk to your pediatrician about it.

Just my opinion! I hope this helps a little!

grrrr, i just choked reading this....man, i am so mad to read what you were told. are they serious? really really serious? ok, then by by 4 or 5 years old they need to built a rocket ship. shoot, will my girls be able to do that? oh man oh man if they don't what will happen oh no
:)
ok joke aside. consider switching places. he is doing great. more than great. my kids are 3 and a half. one can count to 100, the other one to 20
:)
one can write all capital and lower case letters. the other one a few capital letters almost no lower case letters. one is trying to read, the other one has no interest in learning to read. and so much more. mine are twins, which goes without saying, every child is different. while my one who is so interested in learning, has no artistic side to her, she has no feel for drawing or coloring, or keeping a tune while singing. she has no rhythm and looks so funny when she tries to dance.. the other one not as interested in learning can draw a heck out of stuff, mix colors and just present beautiful drawings. she can sing her heart out, and does a lot of imaginary play with her toys. she throws the best tea parties for me. awesome for me. meaning, you work at their pace. once you start pushing for more and more they will withdraw and open a can of issues with school for the rest of their lives.
and just for reference. . .in a lot of countries, kids are not expected to start school knowing how to read. they go to school to learn how to read. and not at the age of 4, not at the age of 5, most likely at the age of 6 and 7. THAT'S WHEN KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO START LEARNING. up until then it's all about getting muddy, play with playdough, ride bikes, run around, get real dirty etc.
but i would consider switching or talking to the director. it sounds to me as the environment there is way structured for my taste and if a parent of a 3 year old is told how behind their child is (AT THE AGE OF 3) i wouldn't want my kids in there
good luck to you

I just wanted to echo what the other ladies have said. Your son is fine. Our daughter is in a FANTASTIC preschool, accredited (and that is some SERIOUS hard work) and has been looked at (along with maybe 7 others in the state) as a model for VA-wide pre-K programs. I just looked at her 3 year class eval (we got it at the teacher-parent conference in Jan). As far as I can tell from what we were told and what's on the sheet (and what I know of many kids and a family (on both sides and my in-laws) of teachers) your son is JUST FINE! He is fine, he is better than fine, he is doing what he's supposed to. Keep playing with your kids and giving them age-appropriate toys and learning opportunities (as I'm sure you are doing now). It seems to me that most of us usually need to just take a deep breath (myself included) and relax on the young child development timetable we've all dreamt up in our heads. I keep thinking of the boy who told my mom at the end of the kindergarten year (and yes, he was a little behind), "Mrs. ----, those black things on the page, they're words!!" No worries, R., your little guy is doing well.

Your son is doing fabulous! My 5 year old is only just learning all that your son has learned. It seems like the daycare is expecting too much of the little souls!

Hi R.,

I agree with the other ladies your son is fine. I started my son in school at 4 yrs old and it was a major adjustment because it was a private school that went up to the 8th grade.
His teacher expected kids to come right in the door doing all kinds of things and my son knew numbers from 1-30, colors, alphabets ect.. he knew a lot considering he was going to an lic in home daycare provider but the little things his teacher would point out to me that he didn't know would really frustrate me. I worked more with my son at home and of course moved him out of that school and put him in another christian school where he has learned so much more than he did in prek-4. My mother kept telling me it's nothing wrong with him and just let him be child another task for him was being able to sit still in his seat to do his seat work that was hard for him but now he's even better with that. Just keep helping your son at home but let him have fun learning which is the main thing.

Hello! I've never known any 3 year old that could recognize numbers to 30, or count by 10. They certaintly didn't know months of the year. I have 3 children and have had an in home daycare for 7 years. You've obviously been working with him, for him to know what he does. I think to many times people push children to be little adults. You have to teach them, but you also want them to be children. I used to read to my girls all the time. Now they read by themselves and don't want me reading to them very much. I miss them asking for my help. I'm glad they're smart and doing good in school, but I miss the little ones who crawled in my lap and wanted a story.

I think your son is fine. You have to remember that some of those kids have been in the daycare since the beginning so they've probably been exposed to this stuff for a year longer than your son.

Example. When my son started kindergarten he couldn't read at all. His best friend who is almost a year old (went to pre-K 5) could read on a 1st grade level. My son was so upset because he couldn't read and his friend read everything. We were patient and encouraging and told him to stop comparing himself to his friend. Just worry about himself. A year later and he is a strong reader. He's in the 1st grade with a reading level of 2nd grade.

My point it, while the teacher is there to help recognize where problems may be, your kid is an individual who has certain strengths and weaknesses. She needs to help you find a growth plan that works for your son, not her, and not a classmate.

Hope this helps.
M.

Hey R.!

I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. I think your child is just fine. As the other mothers said, he's just starting a "Structured" learning program so he'll have to adjust to the schedule, etc and the others have been in daycare much longer. Children at that age have a VERY short attention span and maybe the teacher needs to reinforce the directions. Also, does the teacher have an assistant in the room? She may have too many kids and not enough help to ensure everyone is doing things according to "schedule."

Also, he's 3 1/2, at this age, learning needs to be fun! So, just keep working with him at home, try to find creative ways to reinforce the learning during the day and slowly introduce new concepts, etc. Each child has to move at their own pace.

Good luck!

D.