Need Advice - Phoenix,AZ

Just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed being a SAHM to my little ones! Those are precious years that will not come back, and it has been worth it to me to retire from the work force in order to watch them grow up. Blessings!

I could almost "ditto" Dana's post. My son is and always has been in day care. He started at an in-home daycare and we moved him to a facility at 2 years old so he could start getting more pre-schooling. He has learned so much there. I love his day care, in fact I drive out of my way to take him there. I could stay at home and we could survive on my husband's income, but I have a Master's degree and a career path, and I am perfectly comfortable with that. Depending on your job/career you may want to reconsider. If you don't make a lot of money and have a job that you could easily find one like or return to any time you should consider staying at home.

Also, I have volunteered at my son's school quite a few times so when he brings home a bad behavior I know who he picked it up from and I talk to his teachers about it. Good luck!

I have a different opinion than the previous poster. I have two kids in day care, and it was the best decision we made.

It is expensive, and there are issues you need to work through with your son's behavior. How old is he? Have you been able to find out why he's acting aggressively? He could be reacting to another child and feeding off their energy. If possible, could you speak with the administrator to see if there are certain things that are triggering the behavior?

I have to work. Our closest family member is over 200 miles away. Day care is our only option, and having had both in-home and a traditional facility, we're vry happy with the decision to go there. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom though I love my children more than life.

My personal opinion is that your child is learning incredibly valuable lessons by being in a social/academic environment other than your home. But, it is a very personal decision, and I wish you the best in making the best one for you.

Stay home. You are the best person to raise your child. If your working part time your pretty much working just to pay the daycare bill anyway. It will be hard at first, not just financialy but because it's just plain hard work. But nothing on earth is more rewarding then raising a child right.

Financially, it sounds like it'd be better to stay at home. To give your son social opportunities, find moms groups. Keep active in different things. There are ways you can earn some money while you stay at home. Maybe you can babysit or teach some kind of class in the evenings.

This is a personal decision. I personally would never put my child in daycare. I'd make other arrangements if I had to work. Thankfully, God opened the door to be home with my kids so I didn't have to work outside the home. My mom worked at a daycare center for 9 years when I was growing up. I'd go during the summer for their kids programs... I'd never put my kids in there.... =) If you're able to stay home and enjoy it, then go for it!

I would work with the school and maybe talk with your doctor about his diagnosis. Maybe the interventions they are using at the school are not appropriate for him. Good Luck.

First, what kind of special needs? I have a friend and her daughter is dyslexic along with ADD... she attends and elementary school now, but has had special help and goes into a special class for an hour during the school day. This began at the age of 6 and now she is 9 and doing great! If he has something that is out of your control then a doctor needs to see him and tell you what is best for him, treatment wise so he can have a productive day. I also feel that it is important for kids not to just be in a daycare especially at his age but be in a preschool... they are the same price. My son has been in a preschool since 2yrs and is now 4 1/2 and can read and writes beautifully. There are many pre-schools at different elementary schools which are the least expensive. Your main situation is how much of a special needs child is your son... that determines where he goes even beyond the preschool age. My best...

It's hard to offer advice without knowing more about your son's special needs and his child care setting. If he has any other professionals that he works with to support his special needs (a physical therapist, speech therapist, etc.), they may be able to offer better insight than anyone who does not know your family. The thing I have learned (the hard way) as a parent of a child with special needs is to trust your instincts. If your instinct tells you to get him out of that child care setting, that's probably the way to go. There may be another program that is a better environment for your son that you will be able to afford. Many parents work outside of the home. That's why there are many different kinds of child care programs. Again, trust your instincts. You will know if the best option is another school, working with the staff at his current school, or staying home with him.

Whatever the solution, the best of luck to you and your son.

S.,

Having worked in the schools and running a large corporate daycare, as well as doing at home daycare, I can tell you that for many kids the time after school is a tough one. They are tired, hungry and wound up from being cooped up all day, and for those with ADHD, that time of day is especially difficult. I would check into what type of schedule the daycare has for the kids after school. It may be that your son needs an outlet for his energy when he returns from school...possibly some time to run around outside. It is usually helpful if there is some structured activity after that to keep them busy until you arrive.

I would also spend some time talking to him. He should be old enough to articulate how he feels when he arrives at daycare from school, and if something is bothering him. He should also be able to give suggestions for what might help him. I have found that getting the child involved always helps resolve the situation faster, and sends the message to him that everyone (you and teachers) is pulling for him to succeed! Let him know what you are going to try to help him succeed. By having a plan, he can be assured that he can solve the problem.

If these things don't work, maybe you could find a way to be home for just those few hours after school. I am glad that you are such a dedicated mom!