We are experiencing issues with our 3 year old at home and montessori with tantrums that are extreme. This is not typical pre-schooler behavior, so we are concerned we might be dealing with ADHD or SPD (sensory processing disorder- specifically a sensory seeker). If you are familiar with Raising Your Spirited Child and or The Out of Sync child, these are some the challenges we are facing.
If you have a great developmental pedi who can help dx Becks so we can start addressing his issues now it would be much appreciated.
We are willing to drive anywhere for a great doctor.
I know of a great Doctor who uses natural products and she can make a night and day difference without the side effects of medication. If you want to try her first, let me know. She does not take insurance.
A.
We saw Dr. Mauk but she did the exact same testing the school district did. At 3 years old your school district can do testing for free. In general, in my experience(autism), none of the local developmental peds is particularly helpful. Genecov at Medical City is OK for some and and some like Rios in Lewisville.
We've gone to the Child Study Center in Fort Worth. We saw Dr. Hitzfelder(spelling). We felt she did a comprehensive evaluation and really took the time to speak with us and explain things well. I'm not sure how fast they will be able to get you, but I would highly recommend this place.
I wish I could recommend a fabulous pedi, but I can't. However, I have been in your shoes, and have a laundry list of other supportive therapies you might find helpful. I've had 3 pedi's since beginning this journey with my daughter who is now 9 and doing GREAT. (Hang in there. It's hard to believe, but you can all get through this.) As I have walked this path, I do research, then tell my pedi what's going on and what I would like to do about it if I need a referral to a specialist that I think my insurance will cover. I've had cooperative pedi's, but they have followed my lead not the other way around.
Integrative Pediatric Therapy in Dallas did my daughter's first PT/OT evaluation. Pricey, but really good with SI kids in my opinion. We did a year of OT twice a week at a different clinic which our insurance would pay for. The first 6 months was probably a waste; the next 6 months we had a therapist who actually understood OT.
The most dramatic reduction in SI symptoms was through cranio-sacral massage therapy. I rolled my eyes the first time the PT/OT clinic recommended we try it, but 6 months later, our situation had changed and I was willing to give it a shot. The improvement was dramatic and immediate, and I kicked myself for waiting so long to try this. 80% of her sensory issues were gone after 6 massages done over about 2 months. Expensive? Yes, but worth every penny. DON'T wait. Spend $100 on a session and find out for yourself if this is amazing for your child, or not so much. You'll know after the first session (within 24 hours even if not on your way back to the car). That quick feedback is VERY rare in this world of SI/ADHD management. www.kenpiercy.com Ken is awesome. There are other great therapists, but make sure you have someone very experienced with kids and SI. You want CST-D level training, equivalent to a masters degree in this type of massage. The "D" is the important part.
They tried to tell me my daughter had ADHD. I didn't agree. Not that I was unfamiliar with it, or in denial about the probability of having an ADHD child - my husband is ADHD with mild dyslexia and my brother is severely dyslexic with mild ADD. We knew to be alert for learning issues from day one. I just didn't think that was her problem. As it turns out, the behavior that was looking like ADHD was actually caused by anxiety. Who knew a 5 year old could have anxiety? And what exactly does anxiety look like in a 5 year old? Yes, kids can have anxiety. It frequently shows up as consistent over-reaction to minor things like changes in plans or their favorite shirt is in the wash so they can't wear it today. We did biofeedback for the anxiety starting when she was 5 1/2. Between the cranio and the biofeedback, she was a dramatically calmer kid who could cope with changes in plan and explain why she was getting upset before she was lost to a full blown tantrum. www.onlinebiofeedback.com (Rusty Lozano) is our guy for biofeedback.
Sleep (NOT sleeping actually) was a major problem for my daughter. The cranio made the biggest impact on that, but a weighted blanket helped a lot. Her OT recommended it, and I got it online. She still sleeps under it when she feels like she needs it, but not too often any more. Some kids need deep pressure to feel secure enough to relax.
We eat all natural, mostly organic food, use non-toxic household cleaners, de-chlorinate bathwater, bought a trampoline, watch minimal TV (cancelled the cable) and try to get lots of time outside for fresh air and exercise. There is no magic bullet, but all of these things help a little. I was very strict with evening routines at that age, because the consistency was key to our survival. She only went to preschool a couple of mornings a week at age 3 at a co-op school where I could be with her when she needed me without causing a big disruption for the other kids. We didn't do all that overnight, so if all that sounds like way too much, try one or two things and get used to the change before you try something else. It takes time, energy and patience, but don't give up. Your child is depending on you.
Just a note on Montessori - my daughter could not have been in montessori preschool, because they only want you to use materials in one specific way. That's just not how her brain worked. By the time we had a bunch of therapy under our belts and she went to kindergarten at Shelton (where they use montessori materials and methods adapted for kids with learning issues in lower school), she was the perfect self-motivated focused montessori kid. Go figure. Montessori worked pretty well for preschool for my son (now 7 with ADHD and some dyslexia) because they let him spend a lot of time sweeping, pulling weeds and hammering nails into the tree stump outside. They spent 3 years working on "inside voice" (still a challenge for my husband!) and no running in the classroom. I consider those important skills, and am glad they didn't push him beyond what he could manage. It was a disaster when I tried to get him to stay in the afternoon, because that is when they wanted him to sit 45 minutes for a heavy academic lesson. There was just no way he could do it, but that was their only opportunity, because that's when the little kids were napping. Half days worked great for my son; full days were horrible. He needed more freedom and time to develop the ability to follow someone else's rules for the whole day.
Sorry this is epic....obviously hit a nerve. I've spent the last 6 years learning all this the hard way with very little in the way of support or direction. I just hope my experience can help some other parents skip a few of those sleepless nights agonizing over how to help their child.
S.
SAHM of 3
