Hello moms,
Even though this is quite embarrassing to discuss, I am quite desperate for help. My daughter, who is 9, has a habit of picking at her "privates". She either adjusts her undies constantly, which is somewhat explainable, or she picks at the front part of herself. I am not sure if this is just a habit or a medical issue. She is going to the doctor tomorrow to see if it is a health issue. She doesn't complain about itching, she just complains when I catch her and tell her to stop. I've had numerous discussions about health risks and about the embarrassment factor if others see her. However, it doesn't seem to bother her. Hopefully, someone has dealt with this and can help. Thanks in advance.
Thank you so much for the responses and support. It definitely helps to know that my daughter is not the only one. I've noticed that it seems she does it more either when I notice her or when she has a reason to be nervous about something. So, it appears to be a nervous habit. The less I say something, the less she does it. However, it is difficult to not say anything to her (not so everyone else would know) when others are around. Thanks again.
C.,
I just tell my son that private parts are parts of his body that are covered by a bathing suit and touching private parts is something you do in private--not public.
Masterbation is a normal part of body exploration. Telling her it is embarassing can ruin her future abitily to be in a sexual relationship, even mariage. Its not a nasty habit either, its one that is uncomfortable for you to discuss with her. I can understand that you might feel embarassment seeing her touch her private area in public, but have you asked her why she does this? Does she like the feeling that she is creating? Does it hurt? Does it itch? If masterbation is all that it is.... teach her the correct times (in privacy such as bathroom or bedroom with the door closed) and healthy habits to keep clean in her reproductive organs that she might use on day :)
C.,
When I read your post I just had to respond. When I was about your daughter's age, I started blinking my eyes, hard, excessively. Terrified that I had developed a neurological issue, my mom rushed me to the doctor.
What she learned is that during pre-adolescence, it is VERY common and VERY normal that kids develop little ticks and habits. It is a time of huge change both emotionally and physically, and these are things that result from the stress of growing up.
A friend's son cleared his throat constantly. My aunt also was an undie-digger at that age.
The important thing is to not make her self conscious or feel bad about it, because it will add to the stress which will just manifest in other ways.
Trust me that no one is noticing it nearly as much as you are and it will pass soon enough.
C.
I have that problem with my daughter too. She's going to be seven in october. She complains that she doesn't feel comfortable. I figured that she's not wiping good enough after she goes pee. She wads the toilet paper up and isn't covering enough area. I've tried to explain it better to her on several occasions. I think she's in too much of a hurry to get back to playing.
My daughter is 6 and does the same thing. I am getting concerned myself and am also getting ready to call the Dr regarding it. I will be interested in what the Dr. says. It seems when I catch her and tell her to stop she does and then 10 minutes later she is doing it again. Some days it seems she does it all day long and I would think that it would start to hurt and it doesn't. Your post made me feel better that I am not alone on this bizarre habit. Thanks!
Have you tried putting her in different types of panties? Perhaps the fabric irritates her? I definitely think it is worth ruling out any medical cause. Have you tried rewards for not doing it? i.e. a calendar with a smiley face for each day you don't see her doing it, and then after so many days she gets the reward (i.e. a trip for icecream)
Dear C.,
I wish I had some answers! My daughter is six and behaves similarly to yours. She doesn't seem too aware of what she's doing, and I am mortified about it when we are in public. Aside from making sure she is cleaning herself well enough, I don't know what to do either. Thank you for posting this, as it makes me feel less alone. Good luck.
Hi C.,
My kids are younger but my 6 yo is already quite interested in
showing off that area too. I just tell her it's not polite and to stop, which usually works.Or I simply say, "Don't do that; it's not polite."
I would definitely ask the doctor what they recommend, too.
Good luck.
We went through this too. I think you're on the right track: first rule out infection. For us the trip to the doc was the a catalyst for more of the who can touch you conversations.... I also try very hard not to make them feel like touching themselves is nasty. I agree with the poster who said private parts are to be touched in private. We ruled out urinary tract and found a very mild yeast. It was treated and we switched her to showers. I also focus on getting her to change out of bathing suits right away.
As you see here, she is a normal little girl and shouldn't be shamed about her body.
My daughter who is now 7 1/2 used to do it too, but her excuse was she had a wedgie!! She used to just pick like she had a wedgie, it never looked like she was masterbating. So i bought her new underwear that were a size bigger than what she should have been wearing. She now doesn't do it but i think it is just that i stopped making a big deal about it or she just grew out of it. When i asked my doc he had said it was normal. I also spoke with many other moms in my area and they seemed to have the same issues, so at least my child wasn't the only one. So my suggestion is to just let it go and hopefully she will just see no one is paying her no mind when she does it and she will stop. But of course you at least want to ask the doc but he will probably tell you the same thing. good luck
Hi C.,
Here is a web page:
http://www.icctc.org/SBP%20Facts%20Sheets%201CCTC%20July%...
Hope this helps. D.
My sis used to do this. It turns out she had really sensitive skin & the soap she was using in the bath was irritating her. At that age, they can explain the feeling to you. She also used to get a lot of yeast infections from bathing as well. I would recommend switching her to a shower & finding a more sensitive soap. Also make sure she is washing & drying her private parts well. (It may be an underware fabric issue as well, as another poster suggested).
Do not shame her. She is just trying to be comfortable. I would allow her to touch herself in the comfort of your house as much as she wants. Just let her know its not appropriate to do it in public.
