Naps - Lawrence,KS

Hi S.,
This is my personal experience...I have a 5, almost 4 and a 2 year old. Today, all three of them took over a 3 hour nap. Everyday all three of them take at least a two hour nap. I don't know what I'm going to do when my oldest starts kindergarten in the fall. They go to bed between 8 and 9 almost every night sometimes earlier sometimes a little later but we try to be pretty consistent.
Anyway, I need them to take naps as well. They don't ever whine or complain about it and if I don't get them down for naps in time they fall asleep on the couch or in the car. I have MS, and my oldest understands that mommy is always tired and has to take a nap. On very seldom occasions she will ask if she can stay awake and color or read books and I'm okay with that. By the time I wake up she is usually up in her bed sleeping too!
I think it is just easier for a lot of people not to put their kids down for naps for whatever reason and they stop doing it at too young of an age. I'm a firm believer that children need sleep and a lot of it! If you are consistent with her she will not know any differently and will just nap as you say!
Good luck with it!
BTW, don't feel selfish for needing a break or a nap. I think it takes a good mom to realize her limitations and to make sure she is doing her best!

Do you have a daily regular routine about "naps"? It being the SAME routine everyday... pre-nap and for naps.
By pre-nap I mean... leading up to nap time.
For me, I wind-down my kid(s) first. I warn them verbally giving them a head's up about it all, so its not "rushed" and not an "abrupt" change of pacing or forced. It takes me about 1/2 hour to wind-them down... then it is nap time, actually in the room and in their bed. That is the transitioning time... winding-down. Kids need that.

Nap for my kids, is at the same time everyday, pretty much. And they know the routine like auto-pilot. They will nap about 98% of the time. My son is now 3.5, and my daughter is 7. My daughter, for her being her age, will still nap on occasion. My son everyday. He needs it and I don't "force" him. He will not last the whole day without a nap. He naps 2 hours, and still sleeps fine at night at about 8:30. Both my kids.

And no, you are not selfish... but naps are important for a child. Even in Kindergarten they nap, and in preschool. A child needs it. Although I know some kids seemingly "give up" napping. Not that they don't need it, but that it is just too hard to put them down to a nap, or the child will make it without one. Not that they are not tired.

If your daughter has quiet time, that is fine. My son will sometimes amuse himself before actually falling asleep too. That's good. But, I always then tell him, "5 minutes, then nap..." and then he knows, then he will stop "playing" and then settle down and fall asleep.
Or, I will also be in the same room while it is his nap... and I "read"... but he KNOWS this is not time to play with Mommy. I don't engage or talk. I "read" and even close my eyes. And sometimes I actually fall asleep too. My son, knows, that it is sleep time. He has a routine and then will fall asleep. If on the rare occasion he does not fall asleep... he will tell me he can't. And he honestly can't. I know him. So I let him get up. But I tell him that if he gets tired later, he can nap. He says okay. And later when/if he IS tired... he will tell me... and then go into his nap routine.
Its just the routine of it all... I've done the same routine with him since he was a baby. So by now, well its just a "normal" everyday thing. Not forced... but I do go by his cues too. I know when he is tired. He knows it too. I don't treat "naps" as something bad or junk. It is just a routine.
My kids know that. I have not had a real "battle" about it nor when it is nap time or bedtime. It just is.
Again, it has always just been a daily routine, like brushing teeth or eating dinner or taking a bath.

Often, both my kids will nap at the same time too.

I have also, taught my kids that it is OKAY to "admit" that they are tired or need a nap. So they don't think of it as some kind of banishment or "punishment." So, now if my kids are tired, they will tell me/hubby... and we tell them its good to know themselves... and its not something "bad" to admit... naps are nice. So they don't fight it, if they are tired.

But all kids are different.

All the best,
Susan

I've got a 3 year old in a similar space. She's inbetween the nap no nap stage. She's at an age where she's got the staying power to make it through the day sans nap but by bedtime on a no nap day, she's pretty tired.

What worked for us is we stopped using the word nap. I have a younger daughter and she has a nap but my big girl has a "quiet time". The change in the word changed the tone of the situation for us both. She has to lay on her bed and read books, listen to a special kids story on cd or sleep. She doesn't have to sleep but she knows that if she does fall asleep that's ok too. It works for us, somedays she'll lay there the whole time awake and others she's out before I leave the room. If she's awake I usually leave her for about 45 minutes, I will check back on her once and she knows that she can call me if she needs anything. If she does fall asleep i only let her sleep an hour because any more than that and she has trouble falling asleep at bedtime.

Just know that some kids cut out naps sooner than others and it's never an easy adjustment. But just because they aren't sleeping doesn't mean they don't need a rest. It also teaches them healthy independent play and that their rooms are safe, fun environments.

Three yrs old seem a little early to stop napping. Whatever you decide, make sure you keep a consistent schedule. For example read her a story at 1:00 p.m everday and let her go to her room or quiet area. She may sleep or just tell her she has to lay down and let her body relax. I did that with my son and many times he fell asleep after 15 minutes. Now he is almost 5 does not take naps but he takes quiet time with some books or book on tap. That way I get my much anticipated break. I would leave her there for a least 1 1/2 hr.

Wow this question is being asked a lot today. I think the bright light outside has children fighting naps.. Here is what I have been suggesting.

Children need naps or at least a rest period through the age of 5.

Your child rneeds lots of active play. . Mid morning, she needs at LEAST 1 hour 1 1/2 hours is best of really active running, screaming, climbing, riding bikes, swinging, swimming,hopping jumping. This active play makes a huge difference. Then bring her inside or home and have a quiet lunch, (no tv or cell phone calls) a warm face and hand rub with a wash cloth and quiet time in her room with music, or sound machine. Since it is still so bright, you may need to get some black out curtains. ( I used to hang quilts) In the summer I turn down the air conditioner.

After nap, maybe some watered down juice and then some quiet play and then active play again, she really needs to be able to just run. We used to gather as a neighborhood with some cold drinks and just let our kids run and play for as long as possible.. We would tell them, "run like the wind... Run some more, how fast can you run.. Jump, jump higher." Then in for dinner, a quiet bath and then pop them into bed.. It was awesome..

Since my 4 year old daughter was 3, I've been putting her down for "quiet time" if she doesn't nap. I was pregnant and needed the rest. She got used to the routine, so I'm still putting her in her room for 90minutes, the same amount of time she would have needed for a regular nap. It does not sound selfish at all, and believe it or not, your kid really does need the down time. Try skipping the quiet time for a day or two and see how she's behaving at 5:30 and you'll know how badly she really does need it. :)

my oldest quit taking naps at 18 months. He slept 12 hours through the night and just didn't need the nap, however he did play in his room quietly during his regular naptime and I put up a gate at his room and left the door open so I could peek in occasionally if he got too quiet but I did have 2 hours and he didn't seem to mind playing in his room for 2 hours. He usually sat on his bed and read books or played with his toys which the toys in his room were quiet. This gave him time to learn to play independently and not expect mom or someone to always be around. Sometimes he would fall asleep and take that nap but not very often.

my daughter required naps and took them until she was 4. She slept about 10 hours through the night and required a 2 hour nap everyday but even as an infant she would wake up around 8 am and talk in her crib for at least 20 minutes and play before we went in to get her so she also had some independent time to herself.

my youngest son quit taking naps right before he was 2 and was a lot like his older brother. The older 2 were in school so he still had his quiet time in his room during his old nap time.

Those few hours gave me time to get the housework done and relax a little.
however I did start teaching them to pick up their toys at around 18 months and every night before we went to bed the toys were picked up and when they got older, they learned that toys left out got either thrown away or put up for a long time because nothing is more frustrating than to go check on them in the dark in the middle of the night and step on a hard toy barefooted. It also makes for a better start each day and when they learn to pick up their toys at an early age they won't drag everything out all the time. It also helps to have the toys organized on shelves and not thrown in a toy box. We only used the toy box for stuffed animals, dolls, or bigger toys. They actually played with the toys on the shelf more than the toys in the big toy box, they were easier access and quicker to put away. In fact my oldest at 18 months had his own shelf system and if we put a toy in the wrong spot he would go and rearrange the shelf to the way he wanted it. He is 17 now and still likes his stuff organized and is a hard worker. In fact all 3 of them are pretty good about helping out with chores and keeping their rooms up as good as they can with the small rooms they have.

I never had whining kids at my ankles while trying to do housework or busy doing something else. They were happy when they were alone and also happy if we were in the same room so they were content either way. They also didn't rush out of their rooms in the mornings when they woke up, they would usually wake up and play quietly in their rooms before coming to search for us and we had a baby monitor in the room so we could hear what was going on and was actually fun to hear them play in their rooms and would chuckle at the things they would say while playing with their toys.

Whatever you decide you have to stay consistant because once they figure out they can do what they want during your quiet time they will take it and you won't have any time to yourself. There is nothing wrong with taking a few hours for yourself as long as they are in a safe place and you are aware of what is going on which a baby monitor works well and having a gate up you can peek in the room without them even noticing you are there.

I know most won't agree that a 2 year old should give up their nap but not all kids require that much sleep or you have the fortunate one that sleeps 12 hours at night like mine did and didn't need that extra sleep. Most toddlers need to sleep 10-14 hours in a 24 hour period so if yours sleeps long like mine did then they don't necessarily require naps. My kids went to bed at 8:30 pm and woke up between 8 and 8:30 am from around 9 months old. even as babies at 2 months old they went to bed around 9 pm and woke up at 5:30 am for a feeding then went back to sleep until 8:30 am.

My daughter stopped napping a few months after turning 3, my son however stopped napping at around 2 1/2! Signs are pretty easy to see, it usualy involves your child having trouble going to sleep at their bedtime that night. If your child doesn't have a normal bedtime, then first of all I'd put them on one, but second of all, you'll be able to tell because they'll not be ready to go to bed until later and later. I completely understand about the naptime. My kids are only 15 months apart and TRUST ME, it was REALLY hard when they were both not taking naps and they were 2 and 3. My husband worked 12 hour days so I really truly needed that break since I was basically a single parent. But, it's just one of those things that comes along with the territory of your little ones growing up. If she's ready to give up the nap, let her. After a few days, you'll transition into not having the break anyway.

Let her nap as long as you can. My husband and I use this time as our alone time. I'm going to hate it when nap time ends. I think every mother/father needs this hour (or two or three) to regroup and relax.

My now four year old "naps" in my room since his two year old brother actually naps in the room they share. I have been very careful to take anything dangerous out, and he takes some quiet toys in there and watches a DVD. I set my alarm clock for an hour and a half, and when it goes off, he comes down. He's been doing this for about 1.5 years, starting when his little brother needed to nap in their room. Sometimes he falls asleep, but rarely. The alarm clock is set to radio, and I turned the volume down low, so if he is asleep, it won't wake him. This works very well, but he is an obedient child in general.

It all depends on the child when their naps end. Some won't even nap. My grandson being one of them. There was no way no how to get him to lie down in the afternoon. Maybe once every 3 days if you were lucky. I can certainly understand you needing a rest as well. If your daughter is in her room playing and not getting into anything I can't see why you couldn't leave her for approx. 1 1/2hrs. She seems to be satisfied and if she isn't she will let you know. She will start to cry or she may fall asleep. It all depends to on how long she has been up before you try and get her to nap. For the most part, mine had their lunch at her age and about 1/2 hr. later I would then try a nap. Once their little belly settled. This was getting up at 7am. back down from about 10 to 10:45 and then again about 1 to 1:30 Roughly every 3-4hrs. Give it a try. Again if she's happy in her room and she can't get hurt or out you can leave her for the above. She's not crying or screaming so she's fine. Good luck!!