Napping Issue

I suggest the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. He talks about different strategies to get them to sleep better, and boy is he convincing when he talks about how important it is for the whole family to get a good night's sleep.

Hey S.,
Even if your little guys aren't napping they still need rest. Since they are high energy it may take them awhile to wind down. Have you tried having them bring quiet toys or books in bed with them? They can quietly look at books or play with a quiet toy until you say it's time for them to get up. This may mean that you may have a few protests, especially from your younger guy, but it is really for their benefit that you are doing this.
Also, I really think the 8 PM bedtime is too late for both your children. Depending on when they took their last nap they should be going to bed around 7. This may be part of the problem you are experiencing with your boys melt downs in the later afternoon/early evening. They are over tired and if they are not napping that should mean an extra early bed time (around 6 PM).

When my son started refusing to take a nap, he also would have meltdown around 4:00 also and clearly needed more sleep. I started to put him to bed at 7:00 (that is, he would be asleep by 7:00, so bedtime routine started at 6:00). This way, he got the total hours of sleep that he needed, but just all at once vs. in two parts. Yes, it is hard because Daddy wouldn't get home until around 6:30, but Dad would read him books and put him to sleep so that was their special time. Good quality special time is better than horrendous longer special time. If that is not acceptable then for a week I would focus on getting them to take a nap. This might require you sitting with your 3 year old for an hour gently making him stay in bed. Perhaps read books or do some other quiet activity. He might start taking a nap again, or at least he would get in the routine of being quiet for an hour while the younger one napped. You can break your current routine, it is just going to take a week or so of concentrated effort where that is all that you focus on for that week. Just keep the goal in mind!

when my son would give up naps i would take him to the park and then make sure he was in his stroller at his usual nap time and then go for a walk..he would always doze off for 30 minutes and then the next day he would be back on track for naps..he also is a very high energy little guy..he's 4 now ..so much easier but does not nap..instead stays up late and sleeps in late..
when he was 3 i would make sure we were out and about then around 5:30pm on our way home he'd fall asleep in the car..i'd let him nap for 30 minutes so it wouldn't mess up bedtime..
much harder since you have 2..but sometimes having them out and letting them sleep in the car puts them back on schedule..or in the stroller if its earlier and u feel like doing some window shopping..
i always hug out tantrums..if my son has a meltdown which is really rare now b/c of doing the hug it out thing...instead of a tantrum he'll come and ask for a hug..
next time they melt down..say "do u guys need some hugs? would you like some attention?" then hug them..its better than going head to head with a toddler melting down..its switches them off that track..
now my son is such a lovebug...very endearing little wild man..and always happy...

good luck

xo

D.

I have struggled with this for over a year now also. Luckily my 18mo old isn't fighting the sleep yet, but my 3.5yr old is the tough one. When he first started giving up naps just after two years old, I would force it on him with a stroller or car ride - every day! Usually no crying was involved, and it made for a much more pleasant evening. Unfortunately bedtime was a nightmare until I realized that if he took a nap, even 20min, he wasn't ready for bed until 10pm! He wakes at 7am on average, with a no-nap day bedtime at 8pm. Now, a year later, he does quiet time with a gate on his door (timed during the little one's nap). If he happens to fall asleep, I let him sleep but plan for a late bedtime. Getting quiet time to work was tough - a few days of a lot of screaming, but he does well with it 75% of the days. Good luck!

Hello S.,
First of all, my heart goes out to you. You must be a super woman to be able to cope with the situation. My heart also goes out to your two kids - it must awful to feel that way every day at 4pm. They don't want to misbehave, but their sleep deprived bodies are taking over. It doesn't have to be this way. In my professional opinion, most children are ready to eliminate the nap around their third birthday. The signs are that they are actually having a hard time falling asleep at night and their moods are worse in the morning due to the lack of consolidated night time sleep. Then by nap time, they look and act like they need a nap. It will be obvious to everyone. For those that have a good solid sleep habits already established, they will go to sleep and have a nice long nap but then bedtime rolls around and they are not tired, so the viscious cycle continues. For those children that do have a good history of sleeping habits established, come nap time, their little bodies are too tense and wound up and they will refuse to nap.
Once you decide to eliminate the nap, it is best to go cold turkey and stay strong rather than wavering otherwise the viscious cycle will continue. It will take a good month for his body to adjust.
As for the 22 month old, he does still need to nap, in my professional opinion. How do you make this possible? For some more FREE advice, please visit my website and register for the 5 easy steps. When you receive the information, you might find that it is geared towards younger children, but there is still lots of great ideas.
As for your husband getting home at 6pm. I know, that's a tough one. It's so hard to balance everything. But wouldn't he rather have 2 happy, healthy, sleeping kids and a super happy wife when he walks in the door? I have had a lot of Dads "hate me" after working with me as their babies and children (I work with newborns up to age 8), go from never sleeping to always sleeping. At the end of the day, they really don't hate me, they have happy and well rested wives and children and they focus on quality time rather than quantity.
Sleep Well,
P.
www.sleepsense.net/kelowna

All 3 of my boys (4yrs, 3yrs and 4 months) are nappng as i try to type as quietly as possible. Warning ahead of time, I'm sure this method goes against the books and experts but this is what i do. Around 1pm (today at 12pm because of the time change) I say, "Finish eating your lunch / playing beause it's nap time in 10 mins!" Protests begin. Then i say "ok play for 10 mins and the naptime ok!" Then i wrangle them all up in my bed and I lay down with them. Older kids protesting and maybe crying, I breastfeed my baby while telling the older ones how it's important to rest their bodies so they can grow big and that they don't have to sleep but "rest" for 30 mins. (I have no intention of actually timing this.) They talk/joke/wiggle around in bed and I strongly shush them until they're actually quiet while I close me eyes. I doze off and wake up from my cat nap to 3 sleeping boys. Not all kids are the same but give it a try!

My son went through a horrible period at 27 months. He would climb out of his crib at night and cry and scream until he could be with me. He then started doing it at his nap. He and his twin sister were, up to that point, always good sleepers and until the day he climbed out at nap time, took 2 hour naps. I thought he was "giving up his nap". Once he started not sleeping during the day, night time was no longer an issue because he was sooooo tired. But when the nanny returned from vacation (she left a couple days before this whole thing started) he returned to his regular nap. That lasted until the weekend when I have them exclusively. He climbed out during nap time and would cry and scream if I tried to put him back.Then I realized it was a control thing. He was testing me. I bought a crib tent but wouldn't zip it because he begged me not too. But when the same pattern happened the next weekend I got fed up and told him that if he climbed out of his crib I was zipping the tent! Presto. No more problems. He climbed out one more time after a couple weeks and I was true to my word and zipped the tent. He cried for a few minutes and then took his regular nap and he hasn't climbed out since. He and his sister still take their 2 hour naps and they are 30 months. They sleep at night from 7:30pm to 6:30am. His behavior also markedly improved because he is now, once again, getting enough sleep. Hope this helps. Good luck

Hi S., my daughter stopped taking naps right before her 3rd birthday but luckily fell into a pattern of sleeping more at night. It sounds like your boys just don't want to stop moving long enough to settle down in the afternoon, so maybe you could try a special treat that they could help them want to stay in their room? Sometimes, to get my daughter to "rest" I'll lay her on the couch with a favorite Nick Jr. show, or let her rest in her bed with an animal dvd on the portable player, or let her sleep in her play tent on the living room floor. If your boys are tired enough, getting them to just lay down might be all it takes to get them to unwind and get to sleep. The problem is they've broken the habit so they know they dont' have to nap. Maybe if you make it something they think is fun and relaxing they might just fall asleep without even realizing it. Good luck, I know sleep issues are a pain!

You are experience a power struggle with your boys. If you put your 22 month old to bed, for nap time but he knows that you will give in and get him if he crys...then he will cry (and win the power struggle). I know crying it out is tough... but if you give in each time he cries then he has manipulated you into letting him up and will try to push and push until he always gets his way. I would just let him cry it out for 3-4 days in a row (without going into see him) and he will give up and stop crying at nap time (because you won the power struggle and he knows that crying isnt working).

It is tough, but what happens when he crys because he doesnt want to eat dinner or go to school? Will you give in and give him candy for dinner and not make him go to school? Of course not. If you win the power struggle while they are young, they will know you mean what you say.

Good luck to you!

My son will be 5 and we are still going through no napping issues. He does not like napping. Even at school they have given up. When I taught him from home, I had to put on soft music and rub his back in order for him to nap. At school, of course he has a problem sleeping without him being soothed to sleep. At night around 9 p.m. he goes to sleep and wakes up at 7:30 a.m. uninterrupted which is good. I've just come to the conclusion that he is not a napper and at least he sleeps through the night, he's well rested. I would try the music if they are at home and then give them warm milk. You may have to lull them to sleep. (Give them some assistance) This was the only thing that worked for me. Trust me, I understand.....