My daughter is almost 2 months old and during the day, the only place she will sleep is in my arms. I have tried laying her down in the crib, laying down with her in bed, putting her in a swing, putting her in a bouncer.. everything! It is so frustrating! Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to change this or is it simply a phase that I have to wait out? Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks!
Two months old is really little. She wants you. She wants to be close. Can you wear her? Can you master the art of putting her down so very gently once she's sleeping that she doesn't wake? It's an art!
It's definitely normal. My twins were both like that. We found that they would wake up when we laid them down if we didn't wait until they were in deep sleep (watch for the smiles and twitching to stop after about 20 minutes).
Get a sling. She is too young to "expect" any certain behaviors from her and it's natural for such a tiny baby to want to be close to you. Learn how to use a sling to make it more comfortable for you. Then read The No Cry Sleep Solution for some advice on helping baby sleep by herself in a gentle way. Good luck.
It's totally normal, some kids are nappers and some aren't! I know getting advice to read a book isn't always the greatest, but I have read a lot of them with my now 2 yr old son that has never liked to nap. I still struggle! But I picked up a book at the library called "Sleeping through the night" by Jodi Mindell and I have found a lot of good advice. The thing I like most is that she doesn't try to push one method like a lot of books do, rather she gives many different methods to try depending on the age of your baby and on your own personal lifestyle. One of her biggest pieces of advice ... address the issue now because kids don't outgrow sleep issues. Tackle it now and it will be much easier later! The book has pointed out a lot of things I shouldn't have done with my son in trying to get him to sleep, and now I know what to avoid when my second is born in a few months. Good luck!
Run, don't walk, to the nearest book store or library and get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" By Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It saved my life and my marriage!
K.
I would strongly agree with the swaddling suggestions. You can even buy lightweight swaddlers at Buy Buy Baby. They work very well for our grandbaby.
I was talking to a young mom the other day who used to put her child in the carseat and take her for a drive to put her to sleep. Then her husband had the idea of putting the infant in the carseat, placing the carseat on TOP of the dryer and turning it on. The vibration and humm of the dryer put her to sleep, and Mom saved on gas! :)
I have three children and to some extent they all went through it. Putting her on a schedule might really help. My oldest i held all the time.....never got anything done. We lost two babies before her so i was very clingy which made her that way. i never got anything done and it soon flowed over into her wanting to be with me at night. Does your baby sleep on her own at night? If the answer is yes then you really should try having a nap time routine for her. Do the milk and rocking and just before she is all the way alseep put her in her bed nice and wrapped up so she fells snuggled. If she wakes and begins to cry give it a few minutes and then go in without picking her up pat her and try to calm her down. then go out again and let her cry longer. In a few days she should get the hang of it. Its just what shes used to and what she likes. Its honestly harder for you than it is for her. Better to conquer it now though then when she is two and still not sleeping but now she can call your name out and break your heart even more....mine did that. Oh it was horrible. the sooner you do it the better for all of you. Good luck I hope something helps.
I remember having this issue with our son when he was about that age. He would sleep great in the car but not in his crib. His doctor said that babies that age hate to sleep on their backs (of course, this is a problem, since they are supposed to be on their backs!). Our son always slept well in his carrier, so the doctor suggested putting the entire carrier in the crib. That way, he was more comfortable, but still in the crib and bedroom environment, so getting used to the idea of sleeping in his room away from us. It didn't alway work, but it did help. And yes, he did eventually grow out of it, I don't really remember when, though!
Just go with it. She is expressing a need to be close to you. The more you give her right now, the more confident she'll be later. This special time pays big dividends later!
I would really do research before trying any cry it out method--the levels of stress hormones babies experience from not having their needs met (when they let you know what they need in the only way they know how, which is by crying) are very high and not at all good for their system. Comfort and closeness are valid needs, and we shouldn't 'train' them that those needs aren't important, or that they have no voice. These are the crucial years for learning all about life--let her know you hear her, and respond to her needs.
I think the sling might be the best thing, although there are lots of carriers out there. I promise, it will pass. Give her what she's asking for and you'll be rewarded with a securely attached, confident child who is ready to venture out into the world.
Good luck! Remember, you'll soon be looking back on these days! That always got me through the hard times. And it goes by fast.
Hi! I went through that with my youngest daughter. Finally, I was just exhausted by having to hold her while she slept and deal with a 2 1/2 year old at the same time. It was actually my dad that helped me break the cycle with his advice. He called me one day and I told him that I didn't know what to do and he said, just put her in her crib. It is a safe place and she will not get hurt. I said, but she cries and will not sleep. He made me put her in the crib (while he was on the phone) and she cried and cried. He kept me talking and finally he asked, how is she and I did not hear a peep! I went in and she was sound asleep. After that, she continued to sleep in her crib (not without fuss at first), but it worked. She never developed sleep issues and she is now 8 years old. Best of luck!
Are you swaddling her? I found that if you swaddle them tightly enough (those stretchy thermal baby blankets they sell at Walmart are GREAT) and put them down in a swing or vibrating chair...something where they're partially upright, the sleeping baby has a REALLY hard time knowing that you're no longer holding them. Your daughter likes the feeling of warmth and security she gets by laying snuggly in your arms...and a good, tight swaddle will usually replicate that nicely. You can also try laying a heating pad on low in the swing before you put her down so that the body heat is replicated as well. It will cool, obviously, but as long as there's not that initial shock of cold, she'll hopefully keep sleeping.
My daughter was like this for a little while too, until we realized she was allergic to the cow's milk protein. Once I eliminated all dairy from my diet (I'm breastfeeding), she would nap on her own. Its possible though that its just a phase, sometimes my daughter cries for a few minutes when I put her down for a nap, but I think its just because she's overly tired. Maybe trying to let her cry for just a few minutes may help?
Like some of the mothers said you can wrap them up like a burrito which this makes them feel more secure, also you can try patting the infants back, or you can rock them in their carseat that helps to. to make them fall asleep as well that part works wonders to, Good luck :)
I had to swaddle my little guy's upper half with the Miracle Swaddle up until around 8 months (using safety pins). I would swaddle him and use a pacifier (a side-to-side rocking swing helped calm and distract him if he was upset).
When he turned 5.5 months, he refused to use a pacifier anymore - that's when I learned how to nurse him while laying down and then quietly getting up while he slept, basically using myself as a pacifier. I don't know if this would work for a younger baby because they need to be burped; however, some children are naturally less gassy. Anyhow, I still nurse him to sleep/nap by propping him up on his side with blankets and facing him while laying on my side. Not only are there no more tears at nap time, but this has done wonders for my milk supply.
That sound about right. Just a phase. Enjoy that time in your arms. Yes, I know it can be frustrating not getting laundry, etc. done. Keep trying occasionally to lay her down when she's tired and hopefully I'll work one of these times.
You probably have tried, but try swaddling her. The only way both of my sons slept for the first several months aside from my arms, was swaddled. Good luck!
