Nap Wars

Starting around 2 1/2, my daughter's naps became very unpredictable. As you described, sometimes they happened (and always did when in the car) and sometimes she refused and fought it intensely.

At first I moved the naps later in the afternoon. It worked for maybe a few weeks. She also started falling asleep on the sofa... Again it was a temporary win. But what I really needed to do was change my expections... Because its ten times harder to change the child!

Mommyhood without naps was a hard adjustment for me at first. I had looked forward to having an hour or so to get things done while she slept... and that 'me time' evaporated. I can say, however that there was a new freedom that came with her growing out of the set afternoon naps... the freedom of not having to rush home by a certain time every afternoon.

You might want to start implementing quiet time: Between X time to X time, he can read books to himself or play quietly in his room, but he can't leave his room. Sometimes he will sleep, sometimes he won't... This will give you a little 'you-time' if that is what you're hoping for.

Or make sure he has some huge amount of physical activity right before nap and zap the energy out of him, to make sure he falls asleep... (good luck on that!)

I found that, if my daughter fell asleep in the car for any amount of time (even if it was only 5 minutes) she would not nap once we got home.

If he is not napping, then consider moving his entire schedule up an 1 hour to 90 minutes so he goes to bed earlier. (I know... easier said than done!)

The same thing happened to us when my oldest was almost 3 and our second child was born. Pretty much all of a sudden she gave up her naps. It was hard for me to adjust to at first but it actually made nighttime much easier, because she had been fighting it a lot too, and sometimes wouldn't get to sleep until 10pm, especially if she had managed to nap. Now she rarely naps, but she always has a quiet time in her room for at least an hour, and then goes to bed about 7-7:30, sleeping until 6:30 or so. Your son is younger, so you may want to try to get him to keep napping (I think he probably still needs it). Maybe try different times to put him down for a nap, earlier and later? My only caution there is that when my daughter would sleep any later than 4:00pm she had a really hard time going to bed before 9 or so. He probably is reacting to new-baby stress, so it might be just a phase! My daughter probably got used my her baby sister's presence about 2 months after she was born or so. So it does pass! God bless you!

I do think that each child's sleep needs are different...My son (now 6yrs old) would nap now if 1st grade allowed it :) My daughter (4yrs old) refuses to nap, but has 'quiet time' in her room for her scheduled nap time (most of the time she falls asleep on her own). If your little one absolutely refuses nap time then put him to bed at 7pm to try to get him enough rest during the night. I hope that helps some...also, my son didn't react before the arrival of my daughter...after she arrived he didn't want to talk to me for a week...I broke his heart leaving him (going to the hospital to deliver baby Lola)--get ready, motherhood is such an interesting ride!
Good luck,
M.
www.mindyravinesphotography.com

When our daughter did this, I just told her that she would have to stay in her room with the lights off for nap time. She has a gate on her door, and for a few days she would stand there throwing a fit. I would walk by every ten minutes or so and calmly say, "Are you ready to be tucked in or do you need a few more minutes to cry?" If she tried to say anything but that she wanted to be tucked in, I would say, "Ok, you are not ready," and walk away. Eventually, she decided that she would rather sleep than cry in a dark room.

They absolutely change when new babies come regardless of their age- I remember lying down with my son for 1-1 and 1/2 hours when I was preggers with my second before he would even fall asleep- when he finally did, he would sleep for 2-3 hours. All of my children have been that way. Use it as time for you to rest. Get on your bed and lay down with him and nap together. When the baby comes sit on your bed and nurse the baby while he is laying down. Keep the schedule- he does need the sleep and this too shall pass! I promise- Good luck!