Hi Moms, I know one of you must have some input on this. I have just recently taken on an 8 wk old girl as a nanny client (I nanny privately when I am not teaching). Mom has only breastfed since she was born, and didn't even try her out on the bottle until the day before bringing her to me - I was not aware that she was not comfortable with bottles yet. She refuses to take the bottle from any of her family members, and went as far as starving herself for a day until she was pale and listless because she refused the bottle. Now she is with me, and mom's pediatrician told her to just stop trying herself for the bottle feeding and leave me to do it. Uh - didn't sign on for this, but here I am : the baby normally eats 3-4 oz every 2 hours, and is a healthy 12 lbs. When here, she will cry when she is ready to eat, and continually cry because she is hungry even though she has the warmed breastmilk bottle in her mouth - and she gets really worked up. It generally takes me about an hour to get her to take 3oz, and she takes it very unwillingly, fussing and crying the entire time, pushing the nipple out of her mouth, etc. She will only drink those three oz lying on the floor and otherwise distracted by something - I have a 1 1/2 year old who is not taking well to all of this crying, and all of mommys attention being on attempting to feed this little baby. I have tried several different nipples and have found one she will tolerate halfway, which happens to be the type of bottle my little one used to use - it is chaos here. I need help on this one. I have no experience with this as my own daughter has been a chow-hound since she was born and never cared where the milk came from as long as it was in her mouth. If only that baby would take her bottle, everything would be calm ad happy here again.....HELP!
PS: Mom brings me pumped breastmilk every day, so the baby does not receive anything but mommys milk. Mom sends her "blankie" with her everyday that she slept with so that she feels close to mom - holding her close, in different breast-feeding like positions just make her more unhappy because she expects the breast. Mom has three other children, and they never had an issue going from breast to bottle, and has no experience with this sort of transition either. When the baby is not fussing because of the bottle, she is a happy, bright, and very interactive baby. In all of my 9+ years of teaching, providing psychological services, and caring for children (plus I have a little one of my own) I have pulled out all the stops at this point.
Well, its halfway into the second week the baby has been with me, and things are slow going. She is slowly, SLOWLY drinking a little more milk each time I offer the bottle, up to 3 or 4 oz sometimes - there is still alot of screaming and unhappiness, but Im confident that if I can make it through all the screaming, she will take to it eventually. Who knows when though, as mom and dad really aren't any help. She's using vent-air bottles now (my own): we tried the Adiri Breastbottle, and she didnt like it too much but I feel like we are making headway, as small as it may be. Thank you for all your suggestions, they really did help greatly!
I saw that you used several nipples, but have you tried different bottles? My daughter was the same way, and I finally had to find a different bottle, Dr. Brown's was the only one she would drink from. Just a suggestion...
She could be picking up on your tention and fustration. She is still a newborn who is breastfed, many breastfed babies have trouble transitioning to a bottle. If she won't take the bottle you can try the surenge, that way she is getting something. And I'm sure mom is nursing the baby when the baby is not with you right? So she is getting something. I would have mom sleep with a shirt or blanket near her skin then give it to you to try with the feedings, put the item between you and the baby when you bottle feed that way she can smell her mom. I would still encourage Dad or other family to do bottle sessions when possible too.
And yes if you have your 14 month old there while you are caring for the 2 month old, it is gonna be hard reguardless. It just like having two of your own 1 yr apart, it is not an easy task.
Lastly if it is something you still don't feel comfortable with and getting to fustrated often, I would suggest asking them to find someone else.
I went through this too as a nanny. I had mom sleep with a blankie and bring it. I would hold the baby with the blankie and cuddle her like nursing. Mom used a Boppy pillow so I brought out my daughters. I relinquished duties for other reasons but after a month the little one would take her bottle. Mom was bringing breast milk. I think it's natural for a baby that young to cry and miss mom and nursing isn't just about eating for an infant (you probably know that already.) It's about the cuddling and closeness to mom. I look at the first three months as an extention of the womb. The baby was right next to mom during pregnancy and now is being passed off and expected to sleep alone. Mom should have at least had someone give the baby bottles of pumped milk. If she was pumping regularly it would NOT have affected the milk supply. It would have prepared the baby for the unknown instead of expecting a stranger to do it. Unfortunately some women push out babies then stick them in daycare and expect the provider to raise the baby.(i know some women "have to" work ) I have an aquaintance that relies on her provider for everything. SHe expects the lady to potty train, etc. Good luck!
First Stop and take a breath!.... You will get through this :) I kind of chuckle when thinking about this now. I was ready to strangle myself when trying to wean my daughter. She is even more stubborn than I. Not to scare you, but she went six days without eating. I was on the phone crying to her doctor every day. i had to force feed her with a syringe! she is two now and i still have to force her to eat. The baby will eat when she is hungry enough. my daughter finally took it with a lot of work. I bathed her in lavender soap and put on the lavender baby lotion... i could use all the help i could get! then i had my son sit on my lap.(the baby was on the floor proped up with a boppy pillow) we took the bottle and played "airplane" with it. she was still crying but my son didn't mind as much anymore because we were playing. then after a while, SHE FINALLY ATE! We "played" like this for a coupple of days at every feeding and i think she just got used to it. Like I said, I still have a hard time getting her to eat. I just have to be really creative with her. Just try to be patient and she will do it. Everyone gets hungry enough eventually. You might want to even try holding a picture of her mom in front of her while trying to feed her. It might help her be more comfortable. Good luck you will do just fine. Remember to breathe!
K.,
First of all, I'm really sorry you are going through this. I've gone through it from the mommy side twice and it is really stressful for everyone. Most breastfed babies strongly prefer the boob. Which is great unless mom can't be home all the time. With my first son, I gave him bottles off and on until he was about 3 weeks old and then thought "cool, he'll take a bottle" and then didn't give him another one until I went back to work at 6 weeks old. Well, not cool. At 6 weeks old he wouldn't take a bottle and spent all day, every day screaming. And of course I spent most of the day crying because I was stuck at work while my baby was at home screaming his head off and my babysitter was pulling her hair out. With my second son, I introduced a bottle at 3 weeks old and I gave him at least one every day until I went back to work at 7 weeks. He wasn't thrilled when I went back to work but at least he was familiar with the bottle and it wasn't quite such a big deal. I know that doesn't help you much. But even with my first child, he did adjust and he did start taking the bottle. It just took patience and persistence. Within about 2 weeks, he started to take it and with a few weeks, he was completely fine with it. Some tricks that helped us get through the rough patches: start trying to give the bottle before the baby is starving. The more hungry he was, the more likely he'd reject the bottle and scream. Experiment with different temperatures. Some babies like it warm, some like it at room temperature, some like it cold. My baby sitter found that sitting on a yoga ball with my son on her lap (facing away from her) and bouncing gently, my son would take a bottle. I've heard of some folks giving a bottle when the baby is almost asleep or completely asleep (not sure how that works, but worth a try). I'm on a mommy's group (yahoo) called PumpMoms. On that group I've seen other women talk about having babies that simply refused to take a bottle. Some of them dealt with it by coming home at lunch to nurse or having the nanny take the baby to them at work to nurse. And those that didn't have that option just did the best they could. The nanny would get as much into the baby as possible and the baby would then "reverse cycle" and nurse all night long. Which makes for a tired mommy but certainly can be done. In some cases it is just surviving long enough to get to the point where the babe can drink from a sippy cup (as early as 4 months for some babies). Also, take a look at www.kellymom.com It is a breastfeeders site. Have mom look at it too. She should make sure she's keeping all of her pump equipment clean and following safe storage and handling practices to make sure the milk is as fresh and tasty as possible when she gives it to you (kellymom has good guidlines for handling milk). You might find that until she's taking a bottle well, the more freshly pumped the milk is, the better.
Anyway, good luck. I'm sure this is a really hard time for ALL of you.
T.
My daughter is 4 months old and still refuses to take a bottle most of the time. She will take one on once in awhile from my husband. He has to make sure the milk is warm enough and that he runs the nipple under warm water, so it isn't cold. You might want to try that. Besides that I don't know what to tell you. I'm in the same boat with my little girl. I wish you lots of luck and I know it's frustrating.
Wow!
That sounds like your having a rought time. Have you thought about the 8 wk old who misses mommy? She's most likely not stubborn but instead knows the difference between mommy and plastic. I'm sorry you didnt sign up for this but seeing as this is very common in breastfed babies there are many things you can do. First learn about breastfeeding. La Leche League has great resources and there are usually groups downtown.
Also, amounts....with bfing that will depend on the amt of calories in the mom milk at that time. We tested one of our moms milk and it was 87 calories an ounce that feeding! Formula is 20 -25 calories max. No comparison. We have never found a mom to be under 30 calories. It also depends on the speed you feed baby. Slower she takes less. Not a bad thing just what natural at the breast.
I would not say this is the mom fault, per say. Many moms have tried after the recommended time daily to offer the bottle. Usually other people work best with no success. To make matters worse breastfeeding is a bonding method as well and for a mom returning to work so soon she's not too excited about missing a feediing with her baby.
But I agree with you. Its hard for all three people and you are really important. Have you tried other ways of feeding her besides just a bottle?
The baby will probably cry alot but if she gets hungry enough she will take the bottle so just keep trying because i have not known any baby to starve themselves.
wow, don't come down on the mom for not trying out the bottle. bottles and nipples and pacifiers *may* interfere with supply on the mom's part so she probably had very good intentions - her child. (Instead of thinking of nanny in the future.)
There are other ways to feed a baby besides bottles. Have you checked out kellymom.com or suggested it to the mom? I'd also suggest checking Dr. Jack Newman articles. I haven't done a lot of reading on this topic, but I'm pretty sure the info is out there if you try to find it. Is the mom still pumping and are you giving breastmilk? The baby might be more accepting of mommy's milk (something familiar) while dealing with something new and unfamiliar (the bottle.) That's a lot of change for an 8 week old so try to be patient. I'm sure the mommy will appreciate you more in the long run if you do.
Kirsten - wow, you are in a pickle. You know what - go talk to somebody at La Leche League and call the Pump Station in Santa Monica and see if you can get some advice about this. There are tons of alternative ways to feed her - with a dropper (a big one) a feeding cup (although she might be a little young for that). And try different places - like her changing table. One thing that worked for me when I went back to work (and my daughter was EXTREMELY stubborn and refused the bottle on multiple days, for several weeks was to let her go to sleep. Then, when she's been out for a good 15 - 20 minutes and is sound asleep, gently brush her lips with the bottle nipple, to get her to open up and then put the bottle in her mouth. My daughter latched on and sucked down the entire bottle while she was sound asleep! Just make sure you have enough in the bottle, because if you don't, she'll wake up mad that it's all gone!
When my baby wouldnt take a bottle, I tried something else in the bottle. I used formula and she gulped it right down. I think that it was because it wasnt the same thing. Of course, you would have to get the OK from the mom. Once she got used to the bottle, I gave her the breastmilk again. Good Luck!
Dear K.,
Of course, you know that all babies are not the same in temperment. Maybe it is something else that she is reacting to rather than the milk. If I were the grandmother, I would be thinking about autism, but that is just a guess because of the having to be distracted to take the food. Eight weeks is a short time to develop such a strong dislike to food or the nipple, or whatever it is.
I really do not know, just wanted to answer to encourage you to have the mom take her to the doctor, can you go with the mom to the doctor since you have her for a long period of time each day?
C. N.
Hi K.
Try this.....If you have an infant tub put it into the sink and run the water as if you are giving her bath. Sometimes the water does help with calming babies. If you can squirt little amounts of breastmilk at a time about 4 or 5 times then the 6th time offer the nipple. good luck
