i live on the upper east side of manhattan and my part time nanny asked me if she could bring my son (17 months old) on a playdate to brooklyn. The little girl they would be visiting I know, as she previously lived in my building and they would always play together, but her family has since moved to brooklyn. My nanny misses the little girl and especially her nanny so much - they became very close. She would have to go after his nap in the afternoon and put my son on her lap and seatbelt them both in a cab (i'd have to give her cab fare), feed him dinner there (since if she came back before dinner she'd probably only be there for an hour or so) and then take a cab back around 5:45pm - if she can get a cab at that time - and possibly sitting in rush hour traffic and hopefully getting back to our apartment by 6:15-6:30pm? I normally give him a bath at 6:15 and put him down to sleep at 7pm. I said I was fine with it, but now am feeling very unsure and stressed that I said ok. I should have said that i'd think about it and wanted to talk to my husband about it. I guess i can always tell her i changed my mind - but i wanted to know what you moms think? I take my son in a cab occasionally when i go close distances and seatbelt him in with me and I'm fine with it - but that's me. Whenever I've gone somewhere further I always drive and put him in his carseat. I thought about driving them as I have a car - but why should i pay my nanny to spend my time driving to and from brooklyn twice in a day? i have her so i can have some time to myself. what do you think? do you think i'm overreacting and he'll be fine - or that i shouldn't let her do this because of safety and stressing about him coming home late during rush hour.
thanks for your advice!
That was great advice from linda sometimes we have to let go and trust.
Hi
It's quite normal to have some sort of anxiety about the whole thing. But I think the only way to overcome it is to make sure you stress what you want her to do and give it a shot. Also is there a way to have her do the play date in the morning before lunch and his nap? If not then still give it a shot. If your son played with this little girl before he will have lots of fun.
I know its tough....my kids are 9 and 4 and I still have a hard time leaving them and letting them go with other family members. Its natural to worry, if you didnt worry you wouldnt be normal.
I say give it a shot and see how it goes.....maybe she can take a cab there and you can pick them up on the way home....at least its not driving them both ways......
good luck
Personally, I would be uncomfortable with allowing the nanny to take my child to Brooklyn in a cab with out a carseat. That means going over a bridge, possibly taking the FDR at some point....accidents can happen and your son should be in a carseat. I am not opposed to allowing your nanny to take your son on adventures, the just have to be safe adventures. I would personally reconsider. Maybe the mother of the little girl could bring her into the the city for a playdate instead. Good luck with your decision. These are the not so fun things of being a parent...making mature decisions that impact someone else's life :-(
it sounds like your nanny is more interested in her own fun time. it's unfair to your young son, and not safe to be on her lap the entire trip... i don't think her judgement is very considerate and you shouldnt feel at odds with yourself for questioning this.
your child is the most important person in your life, and your nanny has to recognize that he takes precedence over her any day of the week
