Nanny Issues

Updated on September 14, 2010
M.F. asks from Miami, FL
12 answers

Hi everyone,
So I will start out by saying that my son absolutely loves his nanny. He doesn't cry when she arrives or when I leave for work. Its my husband who is having the issue. The Nanny is a bit rough around the edges, but she is a family member of a friend ours and so I felt more comfortable hiring her than a complete stranger. However, she speaks in a VERY loud voice, overfeeds the baby and doesn't follow directions very well.. She is old enough to be our mother and my husband doesn't feel she treats us with the respect you would expect an employee to have for their employers.

He is not happy about my going back to work and so sometimes I feel that he is taking it out on the Nanny. But lately, she's been annoying the heck out of me, too. For example, she does laundry EVERYDAY, even after I told her not to worry about it. I know she is trying to help, but we are very particular about our clothes. We pay her to watch our son, ONLY. And, to add insult to injury today I walked in and caught her watching Spanish soap operas while the baby was in his playpen.

I only have 6 weeks left of my temporary job and then I'm going back to staying home. I recently learned I'm expecting again and really just want to be home with my family. BUT, should I just stick it out with this Nanny until I'm done? Am I expecting too much or being too nice?

HELP!

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone. Yeah, the nanny would want the job permanently if she could have it. Its just not working out. As per the language barrier, I also speak Spanish fluently so that is how we communicate. I think I will stick it out and just pray that we can glide through the next 6 weeks smoothly. I know I am never going to find the perfect caretaker. It really is a challenge to be a full time mom with a full time job.

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

No harm in speaking with her about her voice, say it bothers you when she speaks so loud, can you please lower it a bit. How do you know she is overfeeding the baby? How old is the baby, what is she feeding him? As for laundry, plainly tell her not to do it, and if you have to, hide it somewhere where she doesn't see it. I wouldn't be happy about soap operas either but, no one is perfect and if the baby was happily playing in his playpen, I wouldn't make a huge issue out of it.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

Since she is a family member of friends and your son it happy with her, you should probably stick it out with her for the 6 weeks. Tell her that you appreciate the extra steps she is taking to help out but not only to you want her to not worry about laundry you insist she leave it alone. Let her know she didn't do anything wrong but you are very particular and prefer to do it yourself. If you don't want the tv on when your son is awake, tell her.

The only alternatives would be another family member or you to quit early.

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N.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

You didn't say if you HAVE to work. If you don't you should be home with your baby. Seems as if that would be the best solution as it would take that extra added stress out of your home. At least your hubby will be happy which in turn you will be happy =-)

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

It doesn't sound like anything she is doing is going to scar him for life. If you need the child care and you trust her, then just stick it out.

You said she was watching Spanish soap operas? Are you SURE she is comprehending your instructions? I only say because I was married to a man whose first language was Spanish and spoke English very well...but really didn't catch the nuances of the language AND if something was in writing, forget about it if it wasn't in block letters.

If you are so particular about your clothes, pull the knobs off the washer so she can't use it.

It sounds to me like she doesn't want the temporary job to end.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

I'm glad you decided to let her finish the 6 weeks. Eventho I agree the Nanny should respect your wishes regarding laundry and menu/feeding your children - - the soap opera part tho is COMPLETELY normal. I don't understand why so many parents think a Nanny should be better caregivers and more perfect caring for their children than the actual parents! I was a Nanny for 3 years, and when parents would expect that TV to never be turned on - I thought they were crazy! If anything, background noise was necessary to keep my sanity after being with only children all day.

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

It's only six weeks and if the baby is happy and healthy keep her. After all your son is the main issue here. I have learned in life to over look a lot of things to keep my girls happy. But do keep a watchful eye out for any issues that may come up. You can talk to her about her voice and the laundry again. Tell her your concerns and try to work it out. The next Nanny could be a lot worse.

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C.B.

answers from Tampa on

Well you need to ask yourself this - is it REALLY worth the aggravation having a nanny especially when I'm expecting another baby? Is it financially feasible to have a nanny or would it be more advantageous for me to be home so we can save that money and I could possibly telecommute part time so that I can be a mom? If she's not willing to abide by YOUR rules in YOUR home, then SPEAK UP. Now as far as her watching soaps - seriously - was the baby crying or not be tended to? If the baby was fine then letting her watch soaps for a time is NOT going to damage the baby or your home. You don't want her to do anything around the house but you don't want her to sit and relax? Make up your mind - what exactly ARE her duties? I mean, in all honesty, as long as the baby is contented, the baby is fine for a short time in the playpen. It's not necessary that she be holding and cooing and coddling him every second.

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R.L.

answers from Tampa on

Well there are many work at home options out there maybe considering them now and being prepared when you start staying at home is a great idea. I can help if your interested...however she is probably doing the laundry to compensate for watching the soaps while the baby is in the playpen. Maybe write up a schedule for her to follow...kind of like what you expect and what you are Only paying her to do. That might help you through the next 6wks. Unless she gets on your very last nerve as long as the baby is good with her I would stick it out and make sure my husband was willing to do the same.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

If this was a permanent thing, I would say to hire someone else. But because it is only for 6 weeks, I would just stick it out and suck it up...especially because she is a family friend.

One thing I would be adamant about is the overfeeding though. She can really make your baby sick by doing that.

Good luck, and I hope the next 6 weeks fly by!

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I wonder why you were ok with her overfeeding the baby and using a loud voice. I would fire her and find someone who is good asap.

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Stick it out- your son loves her- do you have any idea what that is worth????
And then could you send her to my house? I'd love the problem of someone doing my wash every day, especially someone my child loves.
best, k

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C.H.

answers from Orlando on

Caring for others' children is a thankless job, and you cannot even make a living with the low pay. WOW! This is so sad, and the poor woman does not even know how you are dogging her on the web. I would rather have a Nanny like her care for my kid than a "perfect" one who is crazy or on drugs, and can seriously hurt my child. I only care for the kids, and the parents are often evil. The rich families are hiring Spanish speaking only nannies, so their children can be bilangual and you are taking it for granted. It even sounds like you have issues with your roots, and it is a big shame. Do you know that most Europeans speak two languages or more? You need to stay home with your kids until they graduate College, and you are ungreatful. Your nanny is not your slave, and she can watch soaps in between caring for your son. It relaxes her, and she won't lose her temper with him. Shame on you.

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