Preschooler Nail Biting

Updated on August 08, 2008
R.B. asks from Phoenix, AZ
9 answers

How do I get my 4 year old to stop biting her nails?
R.

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi! I am having the same problem with my 3 year old daughter. I don't know if this will help or work, because I am still in the process of trying it on her. And there was progress, until about 3 days ago. Anyway, in a nice way, I told her that if she bites her nails they will look yucky and gross- and little pretty girls don't want yucky fingernails. I told her if she bites them we can't paint them and make them look pretty cause she'll bite it all off. She is really into princesses right now, so I even brought that into the conversation, telling her that I bet a pretty princess doesn't bite her nails cause they always have pretty painted nails. Whatever works, right? And then I also told her that if I did see her biting them, I would have to put vinegar on them to remind her that it is a yucky habit. I didn't want her to feel bad, so I was very nice about it. I am trying to keep it a positive thing, so hopefully it will continue to work. I had to put vinegar on them for the first time 3 days ago, and she didn't like that at all. I feal really bad doing that, so hopefully it only took the one time for it to really sink in- it was a good reminder cause she hasn't done it since. Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Phoenix on

I bit my nails through most of my life. I tried everything to stop, but the only thing that was effective for me was whenever I did what I needed to do for myself, when I really listened to my heart, I stopped. Sometimes, later, I would even start again. For me, it has become a barometer for me to know I am not listening to my heart/soul. This was not easy for me to learn as an adult; I am not sure how to help a child with it. Basically, tho, when we bite on our nails, something is "eating" at us. As I look back, I also know that as a child I had a lot of anxiety and suffered digestive problems. I know now that the nail biting was also indicative of that for me. In other words, inside I wasnt as calm or peaceful as I needed to be. If this is true for your daughter, look for ways to bring that into her life. And talk to her about her biting her nails. In a non-judgemental, acccepting and respecting way, ask her about it. Why does she? Does she like it? Instead of biting her nails, is there something else she would like to do? Really listen to what she says. She might offer you the clue you are seeking. I know I hated biting my nails, but yet I liked doing it because it brought me some sort of relief, even though afterwards I hated that I had done it. I yearned to have pretty long nails and each time I had stopped biting them, I delighted in keeping them polished. But when I attempted to polish them to deter me from biting, I would scratch the polish off, and then proceed to bite. To summarize, I believe it is a habit we develop from some need inside ourselves that is not being met. I believe that need is spiritual in nature and comes from being able to listen to our hearts. Perhaps for your daughter finding an outlet to express what she doesnt even realize would be helpful? Perhaps some art form: dancing, painting, drawing, acting, even playing dress-up. Otherwise, just continue to love her, and don't redicule her for doing it as that only intensifies it. Dont take responsibility for it, either. You cant get her to stop but you can love her, support her, encourage her to express her feelings and needs, and offer her some simple ways of getting in touch with her deepest core. Blessings to both of you.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I had a nail biter. He would sit there from age 4 on up biting, biting, biting...He's 14 now and finally stopped...We did stay on top of it but my hubby's a nailbiter too. I know I wasn't much help... :)

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi R.. There is a perscription that you can get from your Dr. called Mavala Stop. It is a clear nail polish type of stuff that you polish right onto the nail. It tastes very bitter and works immediately and only has to be applied every couple of days until the habit is broken. My friend used it for her nail biter and I used it on both of my thumb suckers and it worked right away. Hope this helps!!

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M.V.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi R., Just wanted to put in my two cents in here. I have been a nail biter my whole life until a few weeks ago. Everybody gave me a hard time about it my whole life! My mom tried everything to make me stop and nothing worked. I got teased by family members and all that did was make me what to bite them more. For me it was a nervous habit and I'll admit it made me feel comforted in some way while I did it. Afterwards I was mad at myself for messing them up though. Finally just a few months ago I decided to stop and got acrylics put on. Once they came off even though they were damaged they were longer than they had ever been and that was kind of encouraging. Once in a while I catch myself with my nail in my mouth, it's such a habit that I don't even realize I'm doing it. I swear this has been the hardest thing I have ever done!! My suggestion is paint her nails everyday. I have been doing that and I don't want to bite them so I don't mess up the prettiness of them. Also I do them in bright colors so I can't get away with even a nibble without screwing them up. I know it's a pain, but it's worked for me!

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D.K.

answers from Tucson on

R.,

This is a great time in your four year old's life, to be home with a great mom and a supportive husband.

As Dr. Kevin Leman would say, "Is this a mountain or a molehill?"

Given time, with no input from mom, nail biting WILL stop. It's a molehill compared to other things coming later.

You could send her to wash her hands everytime she is doing it (on her own) to inconvience HER, but it isn't that big of a deal.

Love,
D.
(my eight year old was a nail biter too)

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P.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Although she may outgrow her nail biting, the problem with it is that she is putting her hands in her mouth, which means that she is also putting all kinds of germs in her mouth too. My oldest was a nail biter as well and had mono by the age of four and pneumonia twice by second grade. There is no way to know for sure that she got any of that from putting her hands in her mouth, but it did increase her risks of getting a bug. I used a product called "Stop the Bite", made by HOOF. I found it at Wal Mart (it was suggested by another Mamasource mom),in the nail care isle for about $2.74. I used it to stop my oldest daughters nail bitting and my youngest daughters thumb sucking.
I did try painting her nails and she just chewed off the polish, and I wasn't crazy about her swallowing the polish either.

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D.R.

answers from Tucson on

R.,
Are you sure you're not talking about my children. I too have a wonderful (and beautiful) 4 y.o. little girl and an equally wonderful and handsome, although a bit rambunctious 2 1/2 y.o. little boy. I am a nail biter. Have been for as long as I can remember. I occasionally have "sober" time periods when I don't bite my nails, but it never fails, I always fall off the wagon. I remember as a kid, my mother always telling me to take my nails out of my mouthm "don
t bite you nails" she would say (it drove me nuts; they're my nails and I'll bite them if I want to was my attitude). My lovely daughter picked up this awful habit, but I seem to have been able to stop it before it really took old as a habit. I do with her what works for me during the periods that I'm not biting; I work really hard to take care of her nails. If I see her with her nails in her mouth I'll ask her if she has one that needs to be cut. I bought a cute little caboodles box (got it at Target) and some nail care products (nail cutter, emery boards, cuticle pusher, cuticle cream, polish, and nail decals) for her. This is something that is all hers. I did this at Christmas time, so it was a gift for her. You might want to try taking your daughter with you and letting her pick put a polish and some decals, all the while explaining that she needs to let her nails grow before you can put "stickers" on them. At first I would polish her nails with the clear polish, until they started to grow out. I told her that when she stopped biting her nails and they got longer, we could use the pink polish and the decals. She is so girly and loves her manicures. She even tells me that she'll do my nails if I stop biting them; I'm trying. I keep her nails trimmed, but long enough so that she can see the "reward" of not biting her nails. I don't know how long your daughter has been biting her nails, but hopefully this might give you an idea. Good luck to you.

D.

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R.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

Gentle reminders are fine, but basically this is not the sort of thing I'd worry about too much. Lots of adults bite their nails too. It is one of the least self-destructive things we do when we are stressed out or bored...

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