My Younger Sister Has Had Breast Cancer for over a Year...

my husband's step father was diagnosed with stage IV prostate cancer and non-hodgkins lymphoma basically at the same time. By the time they caught the cancer it had metastasized on his spine. He was given 6 months to live, but refused to believe it or give up, and 10 years later, he's still here. He goes in and out of remission, and they gave him only a few months to a year last summer, and at his last appointment his counts were finally going down and he's considered in remission again.

This is so hard on everyone. The truth is none of us know how long we have. When you have a diagnosis like your sister's, it feels like the answer is in front of you. But it is really anyones guess how long someone will live. Any of us could die in a car accident or have a tree fall on us today. I think the real leason is to enjoy everyday and not take it for granted. This sounds so old, but it's true. This kind of situation allows us to discover what is really important. Our relationships with others, our love for others - this is what's really important and gets you through the hard times. Your family will be in my prayers.

I am so sorry your baby sister is going through this. I've read that although stage IV breast cancer is considered incurable, it can be controlled and women can survive for years with it. A friend of mine was diagnosed with Stage IV 10 years ago, and she's fine today, with no recurrence.

I was diagnosed last year with a very aggressive form of BC (triple negative). The previous year, I had a clear mammogram; and one year later, I had a stage 2B 3.5 cm tumor that had started to spread to my lymph nodes. I went through surgeries, chemo, and radiation -- I finished all my treatments this spring. And now I wait. There are no guarantees with any kind of cancer, and the triple negative kind tends to come back and spread quickly. Still, I am hopeful. And determined to survive long enough to finish raising my daughter. (Important lesson -- NEVER skip a mammogram!)

Like you, I tried to read as much as I could about the kind of breast cancer I have. I found most of what I read to be scary or confusing. There was one book I found especially helpful --" Anticancer" by David Servan-Schrieber. He's a doctor who was diagnosed 17 years ago with brain cancer, and had a recurrence some years later. When he asked his oncologist what he could do to prevent it from coming back, his doctor told him that there was nothing he could do (my oncologist told me the exact same thing -- almost verbatim. Must be something they learn in oncology school). That answer wasn't good enough for him, so he began his own quest to find out what cancer researchers all over the world were discovering. His book has a lot of solid information concerning nutrition, exercise, meditation, etc. I have to say it was the one book that gave me hope and made me feel empowered, and made me feel that I do have some control over this terrible disease.

I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

I will keep you and your sister in my prayers.

Your sister is in my prayers. I had breast cancer in 2007. Stage 4. It was horrible. I am afraid every day that it might come back. I had a mastectomy on one side. not the other (biggest mistake ever wish I had had the double) I am very lucky I am 3 years out from the masectomy. it will be 3 years since treatment ended in january. so far so good. keep praying. God does perform miracles.

Diana K is so right! A good friend of mine from high school was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in college when she was only 19. She battled through that and due to the radiation therapy, she ended up with severely damaged lungs and had to have a double lung transplant at 25. So she didn't give up, battled her way through that, practically living in and out of the hospital for several years. She was so heroic throughout that entire time! What an inspiration. In any case, she ended up dying in a car accident. Can you even believe it? After ALL of that, she made it through cancer and a lung transplant, and died in a car accident. It was the craziest thing ever. We were all totally in shock, because we'd been braced for her becoming sick again, or having some kind of other medical issue, and it ended up being a car accident that took her from us. That was not what anyone had ever expected! It could just as well have happened to me, or anyone else.

All you can do is love your friends and family as if today were your (or their) last day. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I am sure your sister is living her life with no regrets - she's planning for her future, finishing college, getting engaged. She's not letting these setbacks get her down. What an inspiration! She really has a can-do attitude, I can tell! I bet she is a lot of fun to be around. Just enjoy the time you have with her! You and she will probably live to be old ladies and laugh about this someday. Just don't let a day go by when you don't tell her how you feel about her - or anyone else in your life who matters to you!

First let me just say that you, your sister and your family are in my thoughts and prayers for a full recovery. Secondly, I had a friend in college who was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer the summer before our senior year. His prognosis was grim (I believe doctors said 5% chance of survival.) Well, he beat it, then it came back. And then he beat it again and it came back again. After the third recurrence, he beat it (it had spread quite a few places) and that was over 12 years ago!!! He's been happily married for over five years and is the picture of health. He credits his family and friend's love with getting him through his fight. It sounds like you are your sister's angel.

I'm so sorry your family is going through this, she sounds like a strong and wonderful woman who is still trying to go forward with her life.

My father had Leukemia and I grew up with these same fears, we were told about 13 different times to go home and plan a funeral. He died when I was about 22, so he lived much longer than any of us thought. As an adult, I remain safely detached to my husband should I ever lose him and have to be the sole provider and without a partner for my family. It kind of goes with the territory I suppose of growing up knowing that early death is inevitable. My friend just lost her 14 year old son to cystic fibrosis, again, another disease where young death was inevitable.

All you can really do is love deeply and make great lasting memories with her. Treat her like she is normal... a lot of people have a hard time with this. My father had 6 brothers and sisters and most of them ignored him b/c they were too scared to get too close knowing he would die and plain "didn't know what to say".

Make her burden light, but if you need to cry it out and talk with friends or a counselor about it, then maybe that will be helpful to you.

My father, despite his illness, was a ray of light in a lot of people's lives. He endured through the pain and disfigurement and remained comical, joyful, thankful to God, a volunteer in the community. There is always hope and there is always the spirit that keeps us all united.

I believe, that after death, family units will remain eternal and that God has a purpose for each of us. That great things can come from tragedy. I believe my father's life of illness and death made our family very close and loving, because we knew we had a short time on this earth together. Several people have told me how his example changed their lives for the better.

Have you heard of Stephenie Nielson? She is an amazing mom of 4 and plane crash survivor, who now endures a lot of pain and struggles. She has touched many and s brief video of her is here. It is very uplifting and may help bring you some peace:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E

She has a wonderful blog here that is always so inspiring:
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/