She wants to share the room (separate beds) to cut costs as this is a 7 day business trip. Our own business actually. We have been married 11+ years and love each other very much. But I am not comfortable with this at all. Am I being too conservative or insecure?
Thank you so much all of you. I am glad to know that i am not the only one who felt this way. At first I thought it might be a male ego thing hence I chose this forum to post my concern. I showed your comment to my wife and she cancelled the single room and booked two separate rooms. Thank you very much once again, you are awesome! :)
Just no.
No way.
Ask her which would be more expensive - separates rooms or a divorce?
Especially if she values the friendship - separate rooms all the way.
AND - you drop everything and go on the trip too.
Doesn’t matter what people here think. If you are uncomfortable with it and she isn’t respecting that, then you have a problem. Personally, the optics of it would be damaging to your reputation, if nothing else. But no, I agree, have his wife sleep over while she’s gone and see how that works
Sounds fine to me. Invite the guy's wife to stay with you while they are out of town on "business" I'm sure it will all work out ;-)
No, you're not too conservative or insecure. We ALL have our boundaries and things that make us uncomfortable, and don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for feeling that way -- you have a right to your feelings. Let her know it bothers you and that while you appreciate that she is looking for a way to save money for your business, it's not something you feel comfortable about and you'd rather spend the extra money for them to have separate rooms. If she respects you, she will appreciate you telling her, will take your feelings into consideration, and won't share a room. To be fair, while I wouldn't mind a significant other having friends of the opposite sex, I would draw the line at sharing rooms or beds, unless I also happen to be around.
Well, I wouldn't do it .
Here's my experience, which may or may not be useful for your wife and you to consider as you decide. One time, about twenty years ago, a dear male friend and I decided to share a room at a conference (two beds and all). I was (and am still) married and figured it would be no big deal because my friend is gay (with no sexual interest in me) and I was completely uninterested in him that way. Even with that setup, where there was no sexual tension, it turned out to be awkward as I remember both of us feeling the need to change in the bathroom and all. Based on that experience, I would never do that arrangement again. I vote strongly for MilitaryMom6's suggestion of getting a 2-bedroom suite which will give the option of a living room and stove/fridge to reduce food costs.
You are uncomfortable and because of that any money saved would not be worth it. There is no need to overanalyze it, if you are uncomfortable there is no harm in them just getting separate rooms.
No, I'm pretty liberal, but no way on that. It's not even a matter of trust, it's just weird. Separate rooms only.
I'm pretty liberal, but I wouldn't do this. It's just too weird - even if there's no cheating going on (and I'm assuming there isn't), there is an issue of privacy in a bathroom and dressing area. I agree with the comments below on a 2-bedroom suite and perhaps with a kitchenette to save on dinners out. That will make the costs less than 2 motel rooms and with 3 meals a day in restaurants.
Can't you kind of split the difference and get a "suite" with two bedrooms. Often they are cheaper than two separate rooms, but more expensive than 1 room.
I can see it weird if they were sharing a bedroom (or a bed), but I don't see them not being able to share a suite other two bedroom situation.
This is a bad idea all around. If it's a business trip, the company (even if it's your own) should be paying for separate rooms. This is not the place to try to cut expenses. It's both awkward and inappropriate.
You may save money but it will cost you emotionally. Are you always going to wonder if anything happened, will you resent her etc...
Welcome to mamapedia, E..
Sorry but ANY business that would "allow" sharing of rooms is WRONG.
If your wife is NOT listening to your requests? There is a problem Houston!
You are NOT being insecure.
You are NOT being too conservative.
Hell - I've been married for 20 years and would NEVER share a room with another man. My boys are now at the age that they get their own room. Nope. What she is suggesting is WRONG in my opinion.
Is it just the two of them? If so I would say probably not. If all three of you are going why not. I only have a one male friend that I would even feel comfortable sharing a room with without my husband. How would she feel if you wanted to do that with a female friend? It just probably not a good idea. I agree with Military Mom if they can get a suite with 2 bedrooms then fine and that would still probably be cheaper than 2 rooms.
i'm a pretty casual person, but this is really a bit weird.
khairete
S.
