My Two Year Old Got Hit by a Boy at preschool...is This a Phase ?

Updated on November 27, 2012
S.N. asks from Camp Hill, PA
3 answers

My two year old daughter started going to preschool in sep...its a church affiliated school and reviews are also good. But i am not having very good experience with it....in initial week one bully boy use to hit everyone in the class including my daughter..i talked to teacher and she said as its initial phase it will not happen again...now last tuesday i was watching from the class window and i have seen one boy hit my daughter twice..they separated them but my daughter is very scared...when i talked to her teacher she said we try to keep them apart ....but everyday i am not going to be there...and notice...why they wait till kids are hitting each other....they are in this profession since years....why cant they observe continuous behavior and act accordingly....is this okay...? I am over reacting ...or i should reconsider about school...

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think you are overreacting. My kids get hit sometimes at preschool. They put the culprit in timeout. My kids hit eachother at home when I am watching them. It is a part of being a kid and growing up. As long as they are punishing the kids there is nothing more they can do.

Updated

I think you are overreacting. My kids get hit sometimes at preschool. They put the culprit in timeout. My kids hit eachother at home when I am watching them. It is a part of being a kid and growing up. As long as they are punishing the kids there is nothing more they can do.

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B.R.

answers from York on

At this point preschool is about learning how to socialize, which means figuring out how to resolve conflicts. Hitting happens as kids try to figure all that out. If the teachers have a discipline program in place- by which I mean both positive incentives for good behaviors and punishments for wrong ones- then that's all they can really do. If the teachers are following their discipline procedures and don't have an overcrowded classroom, I'd keep my kid in that school.
Even though she's not the hitter right now, you can work with your daughter on her social skills too. Teach her how to ask to play with another child or a shared toy, how to notice when another kid is upset, when to get help from a teacher... Even more importantly, teach her how to use words to suggest sharing toys or taking turns, and how to use words to say "No, hitting hurts me!" This is a good time to start small conflicts when the two of you play together so she can see how problems get solved. Does she always play with her favorite doll at home and you get the other one? Maybe tomorrow it's your turn to play with the favorite... You can introduce turn taking by sharing the favorite with her, and show her some of the words you use when taking turns.

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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

Kids at that age hit. Even only children who have not yet experienced it at home will start once they get into social situations with peers. Not every child will go through it but the majority do. After a few weeks of discipline it should get better, but it may still happen periodically. If there is a particular child struggling with the issue it could happen more frequently and could last a year or more in any particular child depending on the discipline used at home and consistency both in and out of of social situations. As a teacher you can't predict when the kids will start hitting, so there really is nothing to do before it happens, just manage it when it does happen. As a teacher they are busy doing activities and teaching and playing, etc. They can't be standing there trying to predict when or if a child will hit. Now being it is your child getting hit, I fully understand your feelings, no parent wants to see their child hurt. Unfortunately if you want to keep her in that class you may have to let her cope with it, using it as a teaching tool for her, by talking with her, helping her to know how she should respond, and how to get appropriate help, and even teaching her about how to recognize a situation that is escalating, not an easy task for a 2 year old but a great learning opportunity for practice in it. But if the situation is continuing and you do not want her exposed to it continuing then your options are to move her to a different class if they have one available or to a different school, or just pull her out completely. Even moving classes or schools you could potentially run into a similar problem. But typically most kids will learn not to hit after a few weeks, some take a few months, and a very few longer.

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