We moved about a month ago to a place 10 mins from our current home and ever since, my daughter's (21months old) been all over the map with sleep. Before the move, she slept 11-12 hrs at night and took a 1.5-2 hr nap in the afternoon. Now she goes into hysterics for nap and bed time, starting stripping off her clothes and diaper, yanking drapes down, throwing blankets out of crib and having fits for 2 sometimes 3 hrs before we just go in and get her or if it's at night she zonks out.
If you put her in the car she is out cold in 2 minutes and is always rubbing her eyes, or yawning when we put her down ( typically 5 hrs or so after she is up in the morning)But she won't transfer from car seat to crib.
She also is waking earlier and earlier ( went from 7:15 am -5:45am).
I am at a loss on what to do... It is so hard to let her scream and throw fits for hours on end twice a day sometimes... And it is not working. Any advice on how to handle this? ( if I go in her room during the fit she gets even madder when I leave and clings to me for dear life so I try not to unless She poops -which is usually once at nap time).
I REALLY need some input and advice.
I agree 100% with GrammaRock's advice. With all respect, I gotta say please don't put her in the car and drive her around. She will not nap without it if you do. It's a bad precedent and habit to get her into. Continue to work with her like Gramma suggests and she will eventually get used to her new bedroom.
Dawn
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD ...get or borrow a copy ASAP
Moving is a major life stressor for grownups and children, it can take up to 6 months to adjust. She is more than likely reacting to that. She is very angry, and being only 21 months she can't articulate "I'm mad that we moved, my room is changed, I don't like it!"
That said you don't have to tolerate her behavior and there are ways to modify it, while helping her to feel secure. Since she's getting up earlier you might try putting her to bed 30 minutes to an hour later. Hold her and cuddle her as much as you can during the day and early evening. Work on getting her relaxed for bed, establish a good bedtime routine. Dim the lights, turn the TV off, darken her room, slow everything down, speak in whispers while you give her a warm bath, rub down with nighttime lotion, put on her pj's and read a book or two. When you put her down let her know it's time to sleep, no screaming or ripping off clothes. Put her diaper on backwards, duct tape it starting at the top back and ending there, a onesie over it backwards (to make it more difficult to take off), then her pj's, preferably a blanket sleeper on backwards so she doesn't need blankets, thus can't throw them. Cut the feet off, she can wear socks. And move her crib so she can't reach the drapes. If she's near drapes or blinds she can strangle in the cords or the drapes falling on her. And if she can't reach them she can't yank them down. At naps don't give her blankets but do the backwards clothing.
And once you put her down go to her in 5 minute increasing increments, 5, 10, then 15, and so on. Don't turn on the lights (at night), go to her, don't pick her up, and say "It's time to sleep" matter of fact, lay her down and leave. In 10 minutes go in, say nothing from here out, don't pick her up, lay her down and leave, again in 15 minutes, until she's out. By letting her scream for 2 to 3 hours before going to her for naps you're reinforcing her insecurity and teaching her to scream until you come get her, if she's not asleep in an hour for a nap she isn't going to sleep. At night she doesn't want to feel abandoned and going to her at 5, 10, 15 minutes, etc., will reassure her you're still there while teaching her that her crib means it's time to sleep.
Yes, she gets madder when you go to her during her fits, which is why you don't pick her up and stay matter of fact. Like I said, she has a lot of anger. She has very little control in her life other than eating, sleeping and in a few months going potty. Help her get over her anger while not rewarding her behavior or potty training will be a nightmare...
Did you move from a different time zone? Other then that, as long as she's warm, fed and dry, just be consistent and put her back down. If the clothing thing is a factor...just put her in diapers and a tee shirt....she will have her blankets in the crib.
At that age my boys were on the cusp of giving up naps altogether, but not quite ready to go without. What I did was take them for a daily drive. I would put the toddler in the van, take him for a drive and park in the driveway in the shade. Then I would sit on the front step and peel potatoes for dinner, or read a book, or weed the front lawn etc while he slept in the van. When I had the two kids I drove to a nice park and let the older child play on the playground while I sat at a picnic table next to the van. For my boys it was just the transition before they gave up napping. I figured I would do whatever it takes to not have an overtired cranky kid for the rest of the evening. When they stopped falling asleep on the car ride they were ready to give up their naps and we started quiet time instead, which usually consisted of laying down to watch a movie before dinner.
You completely turned over her apple cart. Moving is a huge stress for kids. Then if she doesn't sleep, it makes her more tired and less able to sleep.
I believe you with have to stick with what you are doing till she calms down or make another plan. Put her diaper on backwards to keep it on her. Don't keep the crib near the drapes. She could be needing less sleep, also. Kids change constantly.
If you want to see if she just needs to get some rest, try driving her around the block to get her to sleep and put her back in the crib to sleep. See if that makes bed time easier that night.
Try checking a book out about sleep methods from the library.
Good luck.
This is going to sound odd, but sometimes it's the odd things that work:
Is her bed set up the same direction it was in the old house?
I don't mean in a similar configuration, or under a window or anything like that. I mean, directionally....according to a map/compass.
In every house I've lived in, I place my bed in the North-South direction with the head of the bed pointed South. If I accidentally place it East-West, I can't seem to sleep properly. It never feels right.
Think about where the sun rose and set at your old home. That's basically East-West. That will give you and idea of where her bed was placed. Try to place it in your new home so it's the same direction. It seems silly when you think about it....but since we are basically riding on a big magnet, it DOES matter. Our bodies do notice the difference, even if we don't notice it consciously.
Hope that helps!
C. Lee
