My son, who will be 3 years old in March, is somewhat tall for his age and a bit on the skinny side. I am having two issues with his size. One problem is the comments I receive from others about him. Friends, family members and even complete strangers will make comments about how skinny he is. Things like "feed that child" or "what kind of food are you giving him?" I usually just say "oh he eats plenty, trust me." For the record my son is 41 inches tall and weighs 31 lbs. And yes according to his bmi, he is considered underweight. His dr. is not concerned because my husband is 6-3 and weighs 215. I think he will just be tall and skinny like daddy. He eats well and is just super active. Anyways, apparently what I am saying to them is not getting through. What else can I say? If they comment so rudely, I feel like I have to defend myself. What would you say to these people?
Also, I am having a hard time finding pants to fit him. 2t fits him perfectly in the waist, but he looks like he is wearing capris (He can still even wear some 18m/24m stuff). 3t's are way too big in the waist even with the elastic tabs on the tightest hole and with a belt. But the 3t lenght is perfect. Does anyone know where I can find longer 2t's or a 3t in a "slim" size? Thanks for any help in advance?
My 2 year old daughter is bigger than her 3 year old brother... sometime I feel bad for him but he doesn't seem to care. I get those comments all the time too.
Boot Barn / Corral West offers 2T & 3T slims. They also have adjustable waistbands....
My son is long and skinny although maybe not quite as much as yours. We find that Old Navy pants tend to have a narrower fit. They're still loose at first but they stay up!
I'm sorry about the comments to you and your son. I was a skinny and got made fun of and I still get comments today because I have skinny arms and legs, even when I have a little extra weight in the middle. "Oh I hate you, you're so skinny, ha ha ha" is not a compliment. About my son I always say, "he eats like a horse, but he just never stops running." If you can, try to at least act like you're shrugging it off and it's not a big deal what other people say so your son can model your behavior for himself.
I completely understand how defensive you feel, though! My friends also used to make comments about my weight when I was younger and skinnier, and I eventually told them (nicely) how it made me feel bad and self-conscious and they stopped. I think most people, particularly your friends and family, just don't understand that it makes you feel bad.
Hi A.,
I feel your pain. My son has always been a string bean as well. This past summer I DID have to send him back to change after he came out wearing swim trunks that were size 18M... he was 4! He's almost 5 now, and I'll tell you, it does get easier as they get older and average kids start to thin out a bit (not that that helps any right now).
The best solution at that age was overalls! I got him several cute pairs in a variety of fabrics and they were a life saver. They sell really cute ones most places.
My advice is to take him shopping with you and try on different brands. I found that the OshKosh jeans sold at Target fit better than most others (the elastic waist can but pulled WAY in... there is no "last" hole, the entire band has holes).
HTH
People can be so rude, can't they? This reminds me of when my second daughter was 3 years old and still breastfeeding. People would say, "It's about time to cut the cord, mama!" RUDE!
I would (1) ignore their comments. We are not obligated to answer to strangers, or (2) politely tell them that your child is your business and he's fine just the way he is, or (3) ask them if they have a degree in nutrition and when they say, "No," then walk away.
Family members can be just as harsh, primarily because they feel the "right" to say freely what they want. Just explain what the ped said and that you are not worried.
I'm sorry I don't know how to help you with the size issue. I have a 4 year old, slim and tall but not as tall your little one so I always have to buy the pants with the adjustable waist and I roll up the pants.
Sears carries 3t slim. Also Dillard's carry's them and if you watch you can pick them up on clearance.Also you can order them online at several places. As far as the comments, tell them to mind their own business, that there are things you could say to them about their looks, etc. but you prefer to keep it to yourself. That will shut them up for good. I know because my youngest was very tiny for her age and I got lots of comments. Even the doctor made comments. He wanted to give her shots to make her grow. I quit taking her to that doctor. My Mom was the one that told me how to answer all these rude people and their comments. Do what I said. Next time someone makes a smart remark just look them straight in the eye and say, "Well, there are several things I could say to you about your looks, your kids, etc...but I prefer to be nice and keep my mouth shut and would appreciate it if you would keep your comments to yourself about my family." It really puts them in their place and quick.
My son's super skinny, too. My in-laws call him "Mister no butt." Seriously, don't worry about providing an explanation. He's happy and healthy. That's all that matters.
I found some slim pants and jeans at Bergners. I still have to adjust them a bit but not as much as the regular sizes I bought before. They really look better. My son hates wearing baggy jeans, so he's much happier with these.
Turn it around on them. Ask the complete stranger how much they think he should weigh. Or (if you have a sick sense of humor) say, "His doctor says his Soylent Green is enough." Seriously, people stick their noses where they don't belong far too often!
As far as the pants, maybe get the 3T and cut another hole in the elastic bands to cinch them tighter. Are you good with a sewing machine? You could take them in a little. Maybe even remove the stitches on the bottom 'cuff' of the 2T pants for a little extra length. HTH!
My 5YO daughter is tall and people often make comments, which has made her uncomfortable. When they say she is tall, I just say she is tall and beautiful and smile at them. They usually get the idea. Sometimes at that point, they defend themselves and say something like, "Well I don't see anything wrong with being tall". Usually, saying nothing at all at that point leaves them a bit speechless. People don't realize that making "skinny" comments are just as rude as making "fat" comments. I was a skinny kid and had to live with a lot of the comments being said to me.
Hi there -
My daughter is very long in the leg so we have the "capri" problem too. European brands are cut much slimmer than american brands. Some brands are more reasonable (www.dpam.com) and some are pricey (jacadi, bonpoint) but i have had good luck finding the pricier brands on ebay. I have also had some luck with Old Navy running slim enough to get a size up to make up for the length.
Sorry you are having to deal with the rudeness. my daughter is 3 and as big as a 4 and some 5 year olds. I'll never forget one mother telling the preschool teacher (right in front of my daughter!) that she was afraid that my daughter would hurt her (very small) daughter if they played together becuase she was so big and even had the nerve to suggest my daughter go in the older class with kids her size. I can't print what i said to that mother in the hall way (we won't be getting a party invite any time soon!). At 3 they can start to understand that people are pointing this out (saying things in earshot of her makes my blood boil) so i am always sure to brag about how healthy, smart, beautiful and advanced she is for her age to these clueless people so she knows!
Good Luck!
A., I can somewhat relate to what you are going through. But I have girl who will be 4 yr next week & is tall for her age. She has grown 2 inches in 4 months, will eat almost anyone under the table, is going into size 7 clothes. She is thin, but not as thin as your son (from the sounds of things). She is about 38# & 43" tall as of Sunday. My husband & I are not tall, but our grandmother's were.
I always get, boy she is tall for her age (yes she is, & she was a premie by 6 weeks). She is very active- she wears us out!!! From the people who see her frequently (parents at her school) they usually comment on how much she has grown in a short amount of time.
We also get questions about where she gets her blue eyes (mine are brown green hazel & dad's are green) & her blonde curly hair (dad's is really curly but short, I had blonde curly hair as a child). And consider, that I wanted to adopt (just because) but my husband wanted the adopted child to "look like us"- Caucasian so there wouldn't be any questions. That plan got blown out of the water.
I just give brief explainations- we both carry blue eye, blonde hair genes, & has tall genes in her family, & she eats plenty. Then I kind of blow them off. I don't think most people mean to be mean, I think they just want to strike up a conversation. I often tell them she will be the next super model & Derek Jeter will be my son-in-law in 20 yrs.
Sorry I can't help with any advice on the clothes issue.
I have the opposite problem. My son will be 3 in April, is 38 inches and about 37 pounds. I am told how well he eats, he never goes hungry, and he is a linebacker. Right now, he is chunking before stretching, so it is even more so. It is helpful to have a line to use, but really as long as you know what that he is healthy and happy, it is easier to just let it wash over you, and don't let it stick (I know I have my bad days too). And my husband is also 6-3, but only about 155 pounds!
As for the pants, try a few brands. I know that when my son was wearing diapers, the Gymboree were really tight in the waist, but The Children's Place fit great. Now that he is in underwear, the Children's place 3T's are a bit back (the 2T's hurt him and are capri's also). I have been wondering if Gymboree is what I should try next (just look for clearance!)
Our first son is very much like yours. Skinny mini but tall. We use dapper snappers: http://www.dappersnappers.com/
You know he's healthy and you're feeding him appropriately. You can't stop people from making comments but you can teach yourself to not react defensively. Try completely ignoring the comment. Perhaps give them a "what are you asking" sort of blank stare. Or graciously continue to say what you're saying now but find a way for you to feel confident about yourself and your son's health.
Our twins boys are very similar. They just turned two, and one is 38 inches and 31 lbs, and his brother is 37 inches and 30 lbs. They eat like horses, and are continuing to grow, but pants don't fit. They need the 3T length, but not the 3T waist. A friend of mine (whose son is like ours) gets her pants from Target. She says they have some with an adjustable waist. There's a band on the inside so you can tighten the waist.
As for the rude comment, I would just reply, "He'll be eating me out of house and home soon enough."
