My Three Yr Old Doesn't like to Be with Papa

I felt like I could've written this myself! My daughter behaves exactly as yours does to my husband and it is literally tearing him up inside. I work every Saturday and so she has every Saturday with her daddy and he takes her to ballet. She is wonderful with him by herself, but the minute I show up, she's all about mommy. It hurts him because she is so about him when they are alone, but once I'm in the picture, she could be so bothered with him. I will tell you that about 2 weeks ago I started "talking him up" during the day while he was at work so that when he comes home she doesn't totally ignore him (like she does). I say how excited we are for daddy to come home, that daddy loves her, blah, blah, blah. It's actually starting to work! She has gone running to him a couple of times this week when he has come home. I think the repetitiveness of it is helping. I'm not going to stop doing it just because she's shown a little improvement either. Maybe give it a try. I know that my SIL had gone through the same thing with her daughter until she turned about 5 and now she's 8 and is more about her daddy than her mommy. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.

This is very normal behavior. I read (I think it was Dr. Spock's book) that children usually favor one parent over the other -- and that it will switch back and forth over the years. No rhyme or reason to it...and it doesn't mean than one parent has done something wrong or upsetting. My husband and I deal with my daughter (who favors me too) by switching putting her to bed every other night. She knows that we take turns and that we will not change, even if she throws a tantrum. (And there were plenty nights of tantrums!)

This behavior took its toll on my husband too (because as a baby, she was very close to her daddy). But I told him the same thing: it's normal and just a part of childhood. The more we try to change it, the worse her behavior gets. So we give her space. She's gotten better now that we don't react to her and don't give in to her at bedtime. It was only after things calmed-down a bit that we were able to help her act more loving towards Daddy (i.e. give hugs before bed when it's not his turn, etc.) In the meantime, I'm holding my breath because I know one day that it will turn against me too!

Sadly there is nothing you can do. Just keep trying. My husband used to resent this when my daughter was young. I saw it too. I just kept telling him to not give up. What we did do to try and compensate is to have daddy/daughter date nights at least a couple times a year. Your daughter should come around. My daughter is now in 8th grade and just came back from a "dream vacation" of going to Disney, with her dad. I've had many people, sympathetically ask me why I didn't go - aside from the additional expense, it just made sense that the two of them should go....my husband and daughter have very similar personalities! (After all these years....who would have thought!) It was a great bonding experience! And..I enjoyed the time spent with my 5th grade son and he'll get the opportunity to do something that he would love to do, when he is in eighth grade. So.. don't despair...they change so much, from year to year!