Okay so she has always been such a good sleep we put her in her toddler bed at like 22 months and she was good for the most days but she been sick with ashma lately and I have been letting her stay in my bed what a mistake. She wants nothing to do with her room nor her bed she is having very emotional crying fit bcs I told her she has to sleep in her big girl bed. Please help it is braking my heart. I told her I would read her a story and stay in there for a little while but she wants nothing to do with it. Do I force her in the room and tell she can't come down from the bed. She most likely will listen out of fear but I feel bad! I have never wanted for her to sleep with us her dad was okay with and kind of liked I mean who doesn't really but we both feel this is coming between us as a couple! Please please help...
So last night she slept in her bed till 1:45 then she came to our bed I am such a heavy and grouchy sleeper I didn't even bother telling her no but tomm I will make it a diferent stroke! I sometimes don't mind her sleeping with me but she gets very attached to me when she was sleeping in her own room she wasn't like this...
Any way you can sleep with her in her room? I have a sleeping bag type mat, by my daughter's bed (although with the mat, it is still very hard floor). Hopefully after a couple of nights she will be fine.
Do you think she would be OK if you had a baby monitor & let her know that you would be listening to her?
Yes, you have to force her. Welcome to parenting, where you can't be your child's friend at the expense of being her parent. Start a routine, set it up, don't surprise her. Tell her, 'We're going to have dinner, then a bath (play with her), then we can read any story you want, then you're going to sleep in your own bed)'. Then follow through. You can have a chart with stickers to reward her for staying in bed, but I kind of think that's just rewarding behavior that should be there anyway. Tell her she must stay in bed, and firmly put her back every instant she gets up.
With this method, she has had enough attention, you shouldn't feel guilty, she will be fine even if she does cry the first few nights.
If you give in every time she cries your life with her will be awful.
Buy your daughter a pretty sleeping bag and let her sleep on the floor in your room. Every time she asks to sleep in your bed tell her it's the sleeping bag in your room or her own bed. I did this with my son and after 2 weeks of sleeping on the floor in his sleeping bag, he decided it was better to sleep in his own room. Stick with it. It's tough but it works and my son has been in his room for 8 months now.
Okay... at a young age/toddlers, they do get night-time 'fears' and it is developmental based, and they have imaginations that we cannot extinguish. Also, at certain ages, they do 'miss' their parents.
When I was that age... I used to have my own room. But EVERY night... I would, in the middle of the night, get up, creep down our dark scary hallway... go to my parents room, and plop into their bed. They let me. I grew out of it. My older sister, would tease me about it. She wasn't like that. My parents, never made fun of me nor punished/scolded me.
It is a phase... I grew out of it.
You can force her back to her room... repeatedly. This is what is done to get the kid back in their room. Some actually lock their kid in their room at night. Or they are punished.
So, you have to decide: is this a battle you want to choose or not? Is this a big problem for you? Or is it just no big deal? is the idea that a kid HAS TO BE IN THEIR BEDROOM so absolute to you.. that you want her in her own room? If so, then you will have to repeatedly put her back in her room... and be up at night doing so, and she will be as well. Up at night at varying times, doing that. Repeatedly. Or, you scold/punish or give treats and rewards to get her back in her room.
Our kids, well we have a floor futon in our room. Our kids have their own beds. But we also lack space... and if need be, if the kids are sick or are scared or something wrong... they can sleep on the FLOOR futon, that is in our room. They don't sleep IN our bed. We don't think its a big deal. Some others here may think its a big deal. But we don't. It works for us. We never ever have night-time or bedtime battles with our kids.
And yes, when kids are sick... they get clingier.
And as far as couple time in bed... well, you can do it at other times... or some place else in the house. That is no problem and fun! That's what we do. Its no problem.
all the best,
Susan
there's nothing wrong with having her sleep in your bed unless you really don't want it. she obviously feels comfortable and she likes it. as others have said, many outgrow it; however, if it's something you don't want, then you have to "sell" her room to her in a postive way. it's a habit that was built- not a bad habit; just a habit that needs to be broken for her to be comfortable in her own bed.
when she falls asleep in your bed, you can carry her to her bed. then if she awakes in the middle of night, go see her if she cries or calls for you. be aware she might be scared the first couple nights, but eventually she may get used to waking up there so it would feel more comfortable for her down the road. good luck!
could she sleep on a sleeping bag on your floor to be near you? could you promise to sleep on a sleeping bag on her floor until she falls asleep. If you get tough she will eventually get used to being in her bed again, but that's your choice, i miss my little snuggler.
The first thing to come to terms with is that you cannot make someone fall asleep, BUT you can work on keeping her in her room. Have her go potty, chat a bit and decide on a number for books read so as to be consistent. Then let her know that she is to stay in her room. If she is not tired she can read a book, listen to book on tape, or whatever you decide. Put a small light that she can control by her bed. If she is reading in bed she is bound to fall asleep faster than if she is fighting with you or popping in and out of bed. If she comes to get you say, "It is time to be in your room," and lead her back.
I would love to hear how it works out,
B. Davis
Child And Family Coaching
http://www.ChildAndFamilyCoaching.com
Because nothing is more important than family
Ok make time for all bed room things, but please don't force her.
Doesn't it seem strange that when we are all grown up- then we can have someone else there at night, in the dark when it may be scary, but when we are little then we have to be in the dark all by ourselves.
best, k
