I would love some ideas for kids who are "pickers". A lot of kids pick their scabs, but I'm worried about scarring. It seems like if you pick off scabs before their ready to fall off, you will damage your skin, and that worries me. I've tried to really warn him about that, but being a teenage guy, he doesn't really care (right now!). Any suggestions for how to get him to stop?
I only have one little comment on this and it is...do you think he has depression? My Grandma and my husband are both "pickers" and I know they both have depression. Just a thought you might want to explore.
M.
Hi M.:
Many individuals have different types of bad habits. Wether it be biting their nails or picking their nose, or picking their scabs.Often these are behaviours,to simply relieve stress. Many young people find these habits as comforting strategies.In your sons case,it may be as simple as when a scab begins to heal,it tends to pull and itch the skin,and theres a certain relief when removed. Its also thought of as something unsightly on your skin,thus they want to get rid of it,bringing back the normal skin.The only deterant,would be to keep a band aid on it till its completely healed.If he removes that to pick at it, then you know its more stress than anything else.We all deal with stress in different ways.I wouldn't get on him to much about it,but try keeping it covered,as long as you can.I wish you and your son the best
M.,
I was actually happy to hear from other "pickers" to see that I am not alone. I feel the same way that Tammy does in that I like the smoothness on my skin. When I have a scab and it has a rough surface, it drives me crazy until I smooth it out and get it off. Sounds weird, but I see I'm not alone. I think it is a compulsive thing, and just something to keep busy as I am also a little hyperactive and it is something to do, as I can't sit idle. As far as the suggestion by another mother, it is not a symptom of depression as I am far from it, nor do I have any other weird habits. The scarring is not as bad as you would think. I think if you were picking huge wounds it might be different but I think we are all talking about small little cuts and scratches here.
I would leave him alone. I also agree with another mother's advice about "if this is all you have to be worried about him, then count your blessings".
Tracey
He's a teenage boy...I think your wasting your time worrying about it...it's not that big of a deal.
I am 33 yrs old, and I too am a "picker". So is my younger brother, who is 26. For me, it is a habit that I can explain in some ways, but not completely. I have had similar habits since I was very young. I have always been very sensitive to the stress levels of people around me, and have always worried about the well-being of my friends & family. To be honest, when I really think about it, it is a milder manifestation of cutting. It does hurt, but it feels good. It is a stress reliever. I did it when I was young about minor stress, and now as an adult, I still do it. When I'm stressed about money, or work, or my family, I do it. What has changed is, I have realized the habit, and so, when I catch myself doing it, I stop.
My biggest help is, that my husband and my mom will catch me, unaware, and say, "Stop Picking!"
Who has been successful in getting you to stop your bad habits? Nobody can do that for us. It must come from within. He will become resentful and annoyed if you continue to point things like this out. If it is the most important thing on your mind when it comes to your teenaged son, consider yourself extremely blessed. Focus on HIM - his thoughts, feelings, emotions - not on his appearance, and he will be fine.
I am not going to go all blah-blah about why people pick scabs. I am 34 and have been pickin my whole life. My parents told me of the scarring and I could care less. I remember being 5 or 6 sitting up in the middle of the night picking so I would not get caught. (I am currently looking at a picked scab on my finger.) I know I shouldn't because of scarring, but it always comes back. I say leave him be, he will stop when he wants. Good luck
I am a face picker as are my cousins and sisters. None of us have scars.
I would just make sure that he is not picking to excess and let him be. It is a mindless thing to do I also am a cuticle picker.
I know that some times picking can be like cutting but for us is was more like obsessive compulsive. We were not going after endorphins just trying to make it smother and look better.
For myself. I hate to feel rough, flaky, or hangey skin or scab so I pick it smooth or at least make it better. I have found that on a dry scab that a very fine nail file will take care of that and make the dead part smooth and help me from making a huge mess of it.
Just a weird solution, tell him about it you never know it might help him if he is after smoothness as I am.
T.
