My Soon to Be 4 Yr Old Son Crys About Everything

Hi M.,

Are you getting enough support from husband family and friends during this difficult time???
Moving is very stressful, not just for kids but adults. And kids pick up on that....adding to their stress. If you are better rested...you will not feel so irritated by your son's behavior.
Your son is still so young. Please be patient and help him work through this difficult time. you are the adult, and are his source of self and support. You are his everything.
During stressful times we wish our kids could just make a leap into more mature behavior, if nothing else so we could get a break. But this is an unrealistic expectation. Kids are what they are. We signed up for parenting, and it's no easy job.
Please check out gentle parenting resources on the web...like The Connected Parent...or, Dr. Laura Markham's site. It will help you understand the perspective of the child better, so you can be the support they need.
Your UNCONDITIONAL love and care is what your son needs. Your acceptance (or lack of) will make or break him.
I struggle daily with being the most patient parent I can...I think we all do. Sometimes it's us that need the "time out", to just think clearly, and make our best decisions concerning our kids behavior.
Good Luck!

I have done this with all the kids, and it works after a few days. Look him in the eye, make sure you have eye contact, and say "Use your words". Don't give him what he wants until he says what he wants/needs.

I would be very careful about not letting him get away with back talk because it can become a bad habit quickly. I would put him in time out if he is rude with you.

Good luck!

Sounds to me like your little guy is grieving. You just moved 2 weeks ago. Who did he have to say goodbye to? Are you now out of reach and contact with his other important people? Also, his talking back and bossing is very likely a response to feeling out of control.
I recommend using a combination of: 1)Giving and enforcing very clear boundaries on acceptable behavior (He is wondering if the rules have changed in this new place. Being firm and consistent in your expectations and responses with give him the security he's looking for in this new situation.) 2) Asking him questions about what he is thinking, taking time to listen to his heart and giving him comfort, give him permission to feel whatever he is feeling, and suggest some acceptable ways to express those feelings.

C. (Mother of 6 ages 13-29, grandmother of 4)

well it is a big transition to move, so that is partly what it is. take it from a Mom of 4~ sometimes you just have to give them some time to work these things out. If he is being unreasonable make somewhere his thinking spot that he can go to till he calms down. My 5 yr old daughter is a sensitive soul so we have had our share of dealing with this, just know that it does get better with time.

Ahh poor little guy probably misses home:) I know my children did and my oldest still does. I would try to get involved with some mommy and me groups or put him in some sort of activity where he can meet other kids his age so he won't feel so lonely. I'm sure once you set up some playdates and he gets to know some other kids, he will perk up:)

M.
Working From Home and Lovin It
www.homeisgreat.com

Obviously all of our children are different, so I've decided that I have to try several different things with my own little girl...

It sounds as though he's homesick though. When something has impacted our lives in a significant way (a move), the change is always uncomfortable because it isn't what "we know".

Aside from reminding him what is ok and what isn't ok, I'd give him some special time with you to make some important decisions (where his toys look best in his new room, what he thinks his bear is thinking about this new place, etc.). Not only will it make him feel a little more open to the change, but it'll also let you know what's going on inside of his head. That way you can show him that he's in charge of his emotions, and that it's ok to sometimes be angry or sad about something.

I found that sitting my son in a chair that I called the crying chair worked for me. If he started crying when he was not hurt, I would put him in this chair and tell him he could get up when he is done crying. He doesn't cry as much anymore, and when he feels he needs to, he now sits himself down in the crying chair until he is done crying.

D. P.

find a quiet place in the house, not his room where there are toys. we used a fluffy bath mat that as folded in the laundry room. when he was acting up i would put take my son to the laundry room and unforld the rug and have hism sit there until he felt better. i told him he was sad abuout something and the rest of us didnt want to be sad to so he was allowed to come back and join the rest of us after he was happy. that worked really well

Hi, M. -
The move may have had something to do with it, but sometimes, this is just what 4 "looks like". They are really maturing and becoming little people, testing their boundaries, and overwhelmed with wanting to be both big kid and baby. I see this every day with my 4 year old girl. One minute wanting to be a big girl and do everything by herself, the next minute wanting to sit in a high chair and drink from a sippy cup. She can be the most loving and sweet one minute, then the most sassy and obstinate the next. She is easily frustrated when she can't get something done right away, and easily moved to tears. I have asked other mothers of four year olds, and am told they experience much the same thing. Four is amazing. Four is wonderful, but four can be challenging for both moms and kids. I agree with the other response that said be patient, patient, patient.
Good luck.

Hi M. -

Do you believe in negative energy pockets? What do you know about the house you just moved to? Negative energy can stay in a room long after the people have left it. You might consider having your new house cleared.

Blessings,
M.