My Son Won't Use Toilet Anymore

It's probably just normal. He wants reassurance that you're still going to take care of him even if he is growing up. Give him extra time (when things are going good, especially) to just snuggle and be his mommy.

Be very matter-of-fact when he has an accident. Say "oh oh, you didn't make it to the potty. Let's clean up." Remind him that big boys go potty. Be very patient, but don't punish him for it. You don't want to get into a power struggle. (I did get to a point with my 4-year-old who'd never been potty trained that he couldn't do big boy things until he was a big boy, i.e. going potty. But maybe wait a bit on that). Same with other things. If he doesn't want to wash his hair, you can help him without any drama. Same with getting dressed. It doesn't hurt for you to still do some of these things. If he won't walk, leave him (as long as its safe).

Make an appointment soon for his 4-year check up with the pediatrician. While there, discuss your concerns (if they're still going on). In rare cases, regression can be an indicator of other issues. Usually there is also a regression in speech and interaction with others. Talk to the doctor for peace of mind at least.

My DS1 is almost 4 and he really hates to stop playing to go potty. Even if I ask him he'll say he doesn't have to go. I just send him to go try every once in a while, if I see him squirming or wiggling a lot, and before we leave the house to go anywhere.

He will totally argue with me "I really don't have to go!" and then when I get him in there, he goes the SECOND the lid is up. LOL So I know he has to... he just hates to stop playing and take the time to pee and wash his hands.

Mine also sometimes acts like he can't do stuff that I know that he can. I talk to him about how we're a team and that sometimes it's okay to have me do things for him but that sometimes I really need him to do them himself to help out.

I agree with you that it's very frustrating at times! But I definitely think it's a normal developmental phase.

Best of luck!

I am no expert, but if there have been no changes in routine or huge life changes for your family, I would chalk it up to being single minded. I know when I was younger,6+ at least, I would wait until the last minute to try to get to the bathroom to pee and I wouldn't completely make it. I would say as young as your guy is he either just gets so focused on what he is doing that he doesn't notice, or he views what he is doing as being more important.

This is just my opinion, I have no experience in this area, my girls are 3 (on Dec 25) and 16 months. We are just now working on the potty training.

Good luck and hope this gives you a little peace of mind if nothing else.

-M.

It very well is probably just age regression. Which I chaulk up to them realizing they are growing up and kind of slipping backwards a tad to be a baby again so to speak.
You can play into it and just let him know that is fine, if he isn't going to do big boy things then he isn't a true big boy and remove big boy toys, take away big boy priviledges.
Be matter of fact, don't get too stressed and stay calm. Don't punish for accidents, however let him know that you are disappointed as you thought he was potty trained! Put him back into pullups!! That will save your sanity and until he is ready to do the work, you aren't having to clean up messes. Some kids take longer too to get all of the urges down. Pullups made true potty training so much less stressful for myself and my kids. When they were ready, it was done and there was no looking back, it was that easy. I just followed their cues however. Both were 100% trained day and night by 3 1/2!

Just look at him and tell him you KNOW he can do these things, if he is choosing not to then that is fine but you don't allow big boy things without truly acting like one.
I am willing to bet a week without anything but baby toys and having big boy priviledges taken away, well he may change his mind.

Also, if you celebrate Christmas, have an outside source, (friend or relative) call him, pretending to be Santa, tell him that they would be really proud of him if he was a big boy, wore big boy underwear and acted like a big boy so he could bring big boy toys. Sounds odd, but it turned my daughter around 180 in a matter of one hour! No joke! She regressed due to wanting my time after her little brother was born and I was okay with it, but had a local rec center who lines up senior cititzens to call your house as Santa to call my daughter, told her how he wanted her in big girl panties so he could bring the cool big girl toys and when she hung up it was over with!! Not one accident after that.

If you are concerned, if he seems really withdrawn or seems like he is truly having issues, take him in to the Pediatrician just in case. Since he is almost 4 you can make it his 4 year checkup but talk to the Peditrician about what is happening.

Hang in there. They I think want to be big kids then realize it is kind of scary and regress in all areas sometimes.
Reassurance, lot's of love and cuddles and reminding him how proud you are of him when he does for himself then that may help!! :)