Hello All! My son just turned a year old on October 3rd. He was doing very well falling asleep and sleeping in his own bed. Then a few months ago he got really sick. So sick that the only way either of us could sleep is if I held him. This went on for almost a full week. Now he wants nothing to do with his bed. He won't even lay down in it when I put him to bed. He just screams and cries. I have tried to let him cry for a while to let him know that his bed is where he is supposed to be, but it doesn't matter how long you wait, he cries the ENTIRE time. I don't know what else to do. I put him to sleep and then put him in his bed and most of the time he will stay asleep and sleep in his bed for the night, but if he wakes up, it's like he never really goes back to sleep so that you can't put him back in his own bed. I have tried to give him his bottle or sippy cup when I put him in his own bed, but he just throws them on the floor. He wants absolutely NOTHING to do with his bed. Any suggestions?
Hello all! First I wanted to tell all of you thank you very much for all the suggestions. I really appreciate every one of them. Well, as much as I love sleeping with my baby boy, I decided that it was time he slept in his own bed. I took Mia's suggestion and let him cry, and I only had to do it for 2 nights. The first night was the WORST EVER IN THE WORLD, but the second night he only cried for 10 minutes or so. The past 4 nights I kiss him goodnight and put him in his bed with his blankets and he rolls around and gets comfy and goes to sleep. No fuss, no muss. I can't even believe it. He doesn't even cry, and if he does, it's only a wimper or two and he's out. Now I just have to hope he doesn't get sick again!!!
Thanks again to all of you. :)
I just wanted to recommend a good book. It's called: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: by Marc Weissbluth.
Hello, I disagree with co sleeping so I am like you I have had to deal with sickness then making them sleep in there own beds and it is difficult. You have to stick to your guns and make them stay there. Give them a initial cup or something like favorite toy. Tell them good night and walk away. Don't give in, peek in avery 10-15 minutes but do not let them see you. Eventually it will get better, but it will be rough at first and he will have to cry himself to sleep. But once the rough patch is over he will be better for it because you will get good sleep and so will he :)
My daughter did the same thing around 15 months after she had a cold. She would cry as soon as I put her in her bed and it never stopped. One night she cried so much she actually made herself throw up. What finally worked for us was, I would put her in bed and then sit right next to her bed until she would finally fall asleep. She would still cry but not for as long. Each night I would sit a little farther from her bed until I finally didn't have to sit in there anymore. It took a few nights (or maybe even weeks) but it eventually worked. Hang in there and good luck!
It all depends on how you want to approach this issue and your personal parenting philosophies.
If you're fine with co-sleeping, then problem solved. Have him sleep with you and he will undoubtedly sleep just fine.
If co-sleeping doesn't work for your family, then you need to commit to going back to him sleeping in his bed. From the information you've given it sounds like he was able to sleep just fine in his bed prior to the illness. There's no reason that he shouldn't be able to return to that pattern, although it will take some hard work and likely a rough week for him to go back to his usual ways. Put him in his bed and leave him alone. Yes he will protest. Yes it will disturb your sleep. Yes it will be hard for you. The quickest return to sleeping in his bed is to quit making return trips (no sippy cups, no taking him into your bed). By reinforcing the 'returning behavior' your child learns to scream more, scream earlier in the morning to get your attention, and to throw that sippy cup out of the crib because he knows you'll come running back. Since he slept without problem in his bed before you KNOW he is CAPABLE of doing it.
There is no right or wrong answer, there is only the correct solution that fits the needs of your family and the outcome you are hoping to achieve. Good luck with whatever you choose and here's to healthy sleep and happy nights!
J.,
Your story sounds EXACTLY like mine about 3 weeks ago. My son just turned one, he was sleeping well until he got sick and then wouldn't go to bed. I actually talked to the pediatrician later and she said you have to just let him cry himself to sleep. He'll get the idea soon enough........it only took 2 nights and now he goes to bed without a hitch. We put him in his room with a nightlight and a toy, with his CD playing. and leave the room he cries right when we shut the door but then goes to sleep. It's rough those first few nights but once you get through it its SO Much easier.
Good luck.
A.
Dear J.,
My 9 year old went through this stage when my oldest daughter moved out. I recommend taking your son to the local toy store and letting him pick out a bedtime buddy. This worked great for my youngest daughter.
J.,
We, in the United States, are so structured in our public ideas sometimes. When I had my first son, I nursed him and just slept with him because I could get more sleep that way. I started asking everyone I knew who had children. Turns out, just about everybody sleeps with their babies, but nobody talks about it until asked directly.
If we assume that, as an adult, our child will be in a committed relationship, it is actually more important to learn to be a good co-sleeper than to sleep alone and be a bed hog. If your son is more comfortable sleeping with you for a while, just roll with it. Maybe get a sleeping bag and have a "camp out" in your room to transition him from your bed. Our 6-year-old sometimes sleeps the entire night on the living room couch as an adventure.
Best wishes,
K.
I'm w/you J., my 20 month old daughter did the same thing. So I'm also itnerested in all your responses. We put her in a toddler bed at a year thinking that would help...NOT...she sleeps 3 hours in it and then wants to sleep w/us. So...we let her. Now we can't break her of the habit. I just keep hoping if I just keep putting her in her bed for as long as she'll sleep in it whether it be an hour or 3 hours she'll eventually learn to stay in there all night. The hard thing is listening to everyone tell us what a mistake it is to let her sleep w/us, but it's the only way we get any sleep. She's like your son, she can scream till the cows come home, it's aweful!
Let me know if you find a solution!
S.
I agree with the other mom here...co-sleep. My daughter did and still does hate her own bed. It is better now because it is a big girl bed, but she still only makes it through half the night or so in it. The only way for me to get any sleep was to just let her sleep with me. One day though they will want nothing to do with us....so go ahead and enjoy the extra cuddles now.
T.
