My Son Will Not Sleep Through the Night

Both my sons were like that at that age. I finally just stuck them in their rooms and let them cry it out. My oldest(now 12) took over a week. My youngest(now 3) took 4 days. I think it is harder for the Moms than the kids. The first few nights I even cried listeneing to them cry. And as mean as it sounds, I also switched the locks on the bedroom doors that way I could lock them in and they couldn't get out. Now my 3 year old stays in bed all night long w/o problems.
Good Luck. I know it's hard.

Hi S.,
I don't have an answer to your question, but I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have 2 1/2 year old twins and either sleep through the night. The doctor told me to let them cry it out. I tried with my son when he was just about 2 and he cried so much she threw up all over his crib. So I did not try with my daughter. I think it it driving my husband more crazy then me. I always say if the wake up and want you, they need you. They are only young once, someday they will sleep thought the night. Then before you know it they are grown and out of the house and you will wish these days back again. I am talking from experience, I have a 24 and 25 year old daughters from my first marriage and they two did not sleep through the night until they were 4. Don't worry someday he will. Enjoy him and cuddle him now if that is what he needs.

You should just get a bed that the two of you can sleep in and just let him sleep with you. He sounds like he needs the security of being with you and that's not a bad thing. Listen to your instincts.

Holly

S.,
Maybe I am crazy,but I would let him sleep with you. I have four children and they all slept with me at one point and time.
I know that this may not seem like such good advice to you, but there will be one day that he does not want to hug you or kiss you. Stay close to him now because if you don't you will be sad when he doesn't want to be mommies little boy anymore. They do grow out of it and you are a single mother and I give you alot of credit for that,but did you think that maybe that is why he is so close to you. Maybe he is letting you know that you still have him.
B. mother of 4 boys ages 9,6,5,3

S.,

My son did this too. He's also two. When westarted putting him in his crib awake in order to fall asleep on his own, he started waking in the middle of the night. I tried letting him cry, rocking him back to sleep, sitting next to the crib, nothing worked. Eventually, I started tucking him in between my husband and me when he woke up. After a week or so of just going in, getting him, and tucking him in with us, he started waking less often. He would wake up every other night, then every third night, then twice a week, and down from there. He hasn't been in our bed now for almost two months.

I think he needed the security of knowing that we were always just a yell away to feel confident that he was okay, and now that he knows he could be with us whenever he wants, it's not such a big deal. Every kid is different, and what makes them feel safe and secure and loved is different. Do what works for the two of you, that ends up with everyone getting a good night's sleep. Worry about tomorrow night when it gets here.

Remember it's not the symptoms that are the problem. Maybe he just needs you more right now. Are you opposed to "co-parenting". If not and there aren't any other adversities then sleep in the bedroom with him. There's nothing weird about it. Many cultures around the world do it and not just because they can't afford the space! It's called "co-sleeping". I have been dealing with sleep issues with my son for five years. Looking back it seems like a roller coaster with him despite the routine. It's all the normal behaivior of a developing kid plus other unexpected twists and turns. Example: in the past two weeks he's afriad to go anywhere in the house alone (except in the mornings if I stay in bed after he wakes.) In the past week I have him sleeping in his own room despite the problem because he disturbs me too much with what I've learned are "partial waking" outbursts and he's always trying to tuck his hands and feet under me. I just recently got a nice music box and a small lamp for the room (from the city mission.) And I'm reading a book called "Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems". It tells you how to correct all the problems. It's very good and is helping me to understand and to be more patient. It's what Jessica D said about feeling secure and protected. You have to work on building his confidence in you right now, your lifestyle and the apartment. I am also inquiring about counseling for my self. I know you can figure this out.

S.

HI,

When my daughter was younger she was always getting sick with one virus or another, thankfully she has outgrown that but she has not outgrown sleeping in my bed. I always allowed her to sleep in my bed with me while she was sick. She is 8 years old and still wants to sleep in my bed. She has her own room, she plays in it during the day but when it comes time for bed she is in my room. If you don't break the habit now, later will be much harder. He will cry less and less each night until he does not cry at all. He will eventually like sleeping alone and will not give you any trouble.

This sounds like what I'm going through right now too. My son is also 2 years old and was sleeping through the night and in his bed fine....then right around the 2 year mark he just doesn't stay asleep at night. I was doing the cry it out and all too, but it was just too much. I read up on it and what seems to be working is that we tuck him in, just like normal....then we tell him we'll be right back or back in 2 minutes....now he can't tell time, but I'd go back sooner then 2 minutes to check on him, then I'll say I'll be right back and that seems to keep him from crying, but also helps him to fall asleep on his own. Now we are to about 5-8 minutes before I go in and alot of times now, he's already asleep. But it is the nightime waking that is getting to me. I read somewhere to put a sleeping bag or something to sleep on right next to your bed...we call this the "little bed" and that in the middle of the night, he can come sleep on the "little bed" this way it is keeping him out of our bed, but that he feels us close by when he needs us. He is still waking up several times a night, but now it's not as bad as he's not crying for hours and comes in and goes right back to sleep.

Here is my take on the subject- if "crying it out" works for you, great, but if not, I'm totally with you. I think there are enough things to cry about throughout the day for a 2 yr old, without crying yourself to sleep. I wouldnt want to fall asleep that way, and will not put my child through it either. Its even worse if you live in a small apartment, its kind of hard to tune it out. What I tried with my son (2 yrs old), is putting him down in his crib, and putting a blanket on the floor next to him for myself, letting him fall asleep knowing I'm there. Every few nights or so, I would move the blanket further and further away from him until I was at the other end of the room, and eventually out the door. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, I go back on the blanket (its comfortable enough that I can fall asleep there if necessary). He now falls asleep fairly quickly (no more than 20 min), and rarely wakes up at night. My son gets sick a lot too, and being next to him makes both of us feel better, especially when he falls asleep in his own bed.
It might not be the quickest method, but its a gentle method.
Good Luck.

Is there a reason why he can't sleep with you? If you're OK with it, I would just let him in your bed.