My Son Was Recently Diagnosed as Being Delayed.

Updated on May 05, 2008
R.G. asks from Seattle, WA
15 answers

My son was recently diagnosed as being developmentally delayed. Not to the point where he is mentally disordered, but just about 6 months behind everyone else his age. We're trying to get him into a preschool and it's taking forever to do so. But it's a special needs preschool, so we are really working to get him in there because the teacher to student ratio is so good and they are REALLY dedicated. He also has a speech delay, which he's had for quite some time and has been in therapy for. It's been this huge roller coaster for me and I'm just not exactly sure what to do now. He's speech therapy has been put on hold because he wasn't progressing like they wanted him to, so they send him to a developmental evaluation and found out that he was behind. So I have to meet with the speech therapist on the 1st of March and discuss our options. They want to have him start back with the speech therapy and with ocupational therapy on top of going to a school that will probably be doing both of those things with him too. My question is has anyone else gone or going through this? I'm getting a little overwhelmed with all of this. Does it seem like a lot for a three year old to get all of this? Is there something I should be doing at home to encourage him to speak more or ennunciate better or something? His sister is 14 months behind him and she's almost surpassed him in speech (which she is ahead in) and I just can see his frustration when his sister talks to us and I know he wants to, but it doesn't come out of his mouth understandable. I just wish I knew how to help my little guy without getting frustrated by the therapists and developmental people.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Well, I went to the speech therapists office to discuss options. He'll be starting therapy back up (we were on a hold while the testing was done) and we'll be adding PT to the Speech Therapy as well. We're working on doing more for him at home, as well as getting him into a behaviouralist for his irregular behaviour. We'll see where it goes. I thank everyone for their comments and it's nice to know I'm not going through this alone! Thanks to everyone! If anyone wants to talk to me one on one about all of this (or are facing a similar situation as me and want to e-mail off board) you can contact me at ____@____.com . Thanks again! It's nice to know mom's out there are listening!

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A.C.

answers from Eugene on

Oh boy am I glad I found you. My son just yesterday got diagnosed as developmentally delayed in speech and social behaviors and is now in the process of getting ready to go to special education shcool. It is completley thrown my life into an uproar. We live in cottage grove and and work in eugene. His daycare is in eugene, but because of where we live i have to completly uproot him from his usual day care and find someone i trust in cottage grove to take care of my son after school. I have to work full time, Im not a single parent, but we just cant make it on just my husbands income. I dont know if I am being much help I am just glad to meet someone who is going through the same thing I am and will understand what this is doing to us. Please email me and we can talk more. ____@____.com you can even call me. My name is Angie ###-###-####. I will be happy to listen.

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K.K.

answers from Portland on

I can totally relate to you. My son was diagnosed as delayed at age 10 months. I have been to every therapist, clinic and specialist there is. No diagnosis to date and steadily working with early intervention. I am so tired emotionally and mentally and I am saddened for my son. I would love for our children to meet some time. I think it would help for them to be amongst their peers, as they are both experiencing the same problems. If you would like to talk more, please e-mail me.

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C.Z.

answers from Seattle on

Know that you are not alone. My son has been in special needs preschool for the past three years due to speech delay. I realized that there was something wrong myself when he wasn't talking as a toddler. I had his hearing checked and it turned out to be fine so I had a speech evaluation done and it turned out that he has developmental delay in speech. He was in speech therapy for about 6 months when the therapist suggested I have his tonsils checked. It was the best advice I had ever received because the doctor said that his tonsils and adnoids needed to be removed and that his speech would improve because of it. Once the tonsils and adnoids were removed, in conjunction with the speech therapy and special needs preschool, his speech improved tremendously. He will be entering kindergarten in the fall and I am so thankful for all of the help he received at little or no cost to me. I found the experience has gone quite smoothly and that my son got a head start on school with all of the extra help. You might think this is a lot for a 3 year old to go through but the need is greater than the hard work it takes and I suggest you do whatever it takes to help your child. Sometimes I feel bad that my son has already been in school four days a week for three years even before kindergarten but he loves preschool and the friends he has made there and I think it has improved his life. If you have more questions, please ask. I would be glad to give you advice or help you along in the process.

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J.E.

answers from Seattle on

HES 3, BEING 6M BEHIND IN HIS LIFE IS NOT BAD/NOTHING. I UNDERSTAND THE SPEECH "THING" BUT WHAT IS HE BEHIND IN? ITS NOT THAT BAD BEING 6M BEHIND. IF ITS POTTY ISUES THEN SEE WHATS UP THERE. IF ITS A BINKY THING, YA. LOOK AT WHAT HES "BEHIND" IN. HES ONLY 3 I BET HE'LL CATCH UP!!!!

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S.B.

answers from Eugene on

im not sure if this relates but when i see delay in kids it sends alarms off for me. My son was diagnosed with certain delays and 2 yrs later i found he wasnt delayed he had a sub cleft palet and needed surgery . once he got it he was talking sentences but becouse they caught it 2 yrs later he is now about 1-2 yrs behind . i am informing just so you might want to have your kids checked for it as well

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L.A.

answers from Seattle on

Yes! Both my older and my youngest child were diagnosed with this disorder, they both went to special preschools and kindergarten just be patient with yourself, my sons both overcame there difficulties and are progressing very well. (One is 18 and the other is 12) it just takes time, one thing I found that worked with the speech problem it to read aloud to them. I know he is too young to read himself but later when they could I would have them read aloud to me. Kyle my youngest was diagnosed when he was three. Now he is doing great after being in a special preschool and kindergarten. he also had to go to speech class he lost his front tooth at 2 so he lisped. but he is doing fine now. It just takes time and patience to get through it but u will!!
Take care

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T.N.

answers from Spokane on

Hi my name is T. I have a son who started therapies when he was just 10 mo. old (P.T & O.T) he gone through preschools that also gave him some therapy so some days he is getting doubled dosed now he is in elementary almost in Junior high and I still take him to therapy twice a week it is a lot of work but I always give him summers off when he was that young it never really seemed to bug him to go to school and then to therapy it makes him sleep really well at night also.He is now 12 yrs old and still going to therapy and does sports on top of that plus his school work work. My advise to you is take it 1 day at a time and if you do start feeling overwelmed you can always skip a therapy appointment for that day. I wish you the very best and good luck with your son. If you want to ask me any more questions please email me ____@____.com

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D.G.

answers from Portland on

My 10 year old has asperger's/ a form of autism, we didnt know until he was in kindergarten that there was a problem and he has suffered because of the lack of early intervention. My 2 year old is developmentally delayed and Receives early intervention.

I think that if they are offering you the help you need to take as much as you can. The more help he gets the better he will do in the future. There have been numerous studies that show early intervention is the best chance children who are delayed have. Many children who get early intervention at your sons age are able to catch up completly before 1st grade and even many moderate to severe autistic children make drastic improvements the more therapies they receive at an early age.

Go to his speech therapy with him and have the therapist tell you exaclty what you can do at home to help as well. I know a big thing we did with my son is to repeat the word for what he is doing or holding over and over and then make him ask for things. such as if he is having a snack make him say cracker. even if it is just ack he is vocalizing and that is progress.

Good luck.

Afternote:
I wanted to kind of comment on what Charlene stated. She has a really good point that you need to have a reason why he is delayed. You didn't state wether he has a diagnosis or anything and that could make a huge difference. But there are some children who are just delayed and noones knows why and then they catch up. and no matter the reason EI is needed and Ei will help. SO Again I encourage you to take everything you can get.

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A.A.

answers from Portland on

My son was also "behind". I had him tested by the regional ESD, and him came out with speech, cognitive, and social/emotional delays. This was when he was 3. They placed him in classes that are free through the school district. He did improve slighlty. But we moved and I just didn't get him back in them. He started kindergarten and was having so many problems, so we had him evaluated again. This is the point that I want to say, no matter how hard it is, no matter how sad you feel or frustrated or lost, keep pushing and pushing to get him what he needs. Anyways, in the end, my son has a high funtioning form of autism. Most children with this form of autism will show delays early on. And they will continue to just tell you that they are delays. Stand up on their desks, yell and scream, but get their attention so your son gets the attention he needs. If we had know earlier that my sons "delays" were autism, we could have given him better help. He is now in the 1st grade and gets 1 1/2 hours each day of one on one instruction in a quiet setting at school. His is improving finally, I just wish I had known sooner. Fight the good fight! Get on line and plug in any behavior you can think of that he exhibits and see what resources you find! You can also contact the regional ESD program. It is all free. Even if you have them test him for everything under the sun. As much as we want to, we can not help our children by ourselves. Not with this. And it is a lot for a 3 year old. But this will be a LOT harder when he is older to just jump into. This is something he can recover from!!!!!

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A.S.

answers from Seattle on

My 3 1/2 year old son Jonas is also delayed. I have had him tested since he was 2. He is currently in speech therapy which has seen to help some although I like to call it "narrated play" since that is mostly what it is with some organized instruction. At home I just follow the same technique as the speech therapist. I try to talk slow and clear and when I don't understand what he says I tell him I don't and ask him to repeat. Then, I repeat what I think he said the way it should sound and try to get him to say it. Showing praise and patience with Jonas has worked a great deal for us. He responds in leaps and bounds as opposed to when he senses frustration on my part. The difference in your situation and mine is it doesn't seem to bother Jonas that he is not where other kids are at his age. I don't know whether that is good or bad (since it is hard for me to see other kids sometimes shun him or look at him strangely)but he is just going at his own pace. It is at those times I remind myself to be thankful that he is healthy and happy and being taken care of. It seems there are so many people out there with diagnoses of where are kids should be at what point and I feel like in some ways it is good that we catch things early and help kids out but in others kids can sense that they are a little different and react accordingly. When Jonas senses I am frustrated, we hit a brick wall. If he feels pressure and expectation, he doesn't deliver. However, when we do fun things like puzzles and things he enjoys and we bring the speech practice in that, he thrives. So, although it takes more forethought (and sometimes a lot more patience) the payoff is greater. I am not sure if that is at all helpful but trust me, I know your pain. It is hard worrying your child will have it harder than others and not knowing the best thing to do. I feel that way too. But I trust that he is special and learning things his own way. I also try to focus on his gifts and special talents that he has. Verbally and comprehensively he may be slower, but socially and musically he is ahead of the game and so on ...

Good luck and feel free to contact me if you want to talk more. :-)

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

My son is delayed as well and has been attending a special education preschool here in Everett for the last 2 years. We found out that he was delayed approx. April of 2005 and he started attending the Little Red School which really helped him. He just turned 5yr. today and after a conference with his teachers a few days ago, he still is behind in his speech. I have been trying to help him at home but continuing certain excercises his speech therapist does with him at school by incorporating them in our daily lives. It's hard to explain in this message, but simply to start with how you interact with each other and help him repeat household words properly is a great place to start.

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C.

answers from Spokane on

Hi R.,
What I have to wonder is what are they not telling you? Being 6 months behind is no big deal and girls mature faster than boys. So I am wondering who did the evaluation and what aren't they telling you? I am the mother of 7 kiddo's rangeing in age from 27 to 6. The youngest has Downs. We have been through the developmental preschool. We have been through speech, ot and pt. 3-4 times aweek from birth. I am on the special education advisory panel with the state dept of education. When I read what you wrote all the flags go up and I hear the bells and whistles. I would be asking Why is he delayed? What is the reasoning behind the Diagnosis? I would be asking some serious questions. Only then will you be able to find the right answers. To give any advice without a real diagnosis would be giving you a false sence of security. Please let me know how it goes.

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

You have some wonderful advice. Only one other thing I would suggest is talking with your pediatrician too. They can have further tests done if you don't feel the school district has done enough to answer your questions about why or what should you expect.

Maybe also get involved in a mom's group for children with special needs. They can offer support and usually have a lot of experience dealing with therapy and school district procedures. I am not sure where you are located but I am a member of one group if you are interested.

Take a deep breath and keep asking questions until you feel you have all the answers you need!

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K.B.

answers from Portland on

R.,
I too have a son (2 1/2) who is going through the same motions as yours.. he is a bit younger but he also is behind in speech. We are involved with Early Intervention and have speech, along with occupational therapy as well. I know what you are going through, believe me... I am sure you are doing everything in your power to help him, as am I. If you want to email me, we can chat about it.. I find it really helpful to be able to reach out to people who understand what your situation is.. NO matter what. :) Here is my email if you want to chat - ____@____.com care,
K.

K. (____@____.com)

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D.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi, My name is Dionne. My son is 8 years old. He also is diagnosed with the same thing Developmentally Delayed. This has been a very long journey.But it will get better. Just keep taking him to his speech therapist, you will soon see progress. Have you ever heard of Childrens Therapy Center in Kent. They are great!! My son started there at about 6mo old. He learned how to eat there. He had no muscle tone, he couldn't sit up crawl or walk. The therapy that he received really helped. At three he started special ed so that by the time he started preschool he wouldnt be too much behind because he was already delayed. He has gotten better. Even though he is in 2nd grade now, he is still in the special ed room his is making progress.Alot of the stuff you talk about reminds me of what I have gone through also. Hang in there it can only get better. I will be praying for you and your family.

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