My Son's Behavior at School Is Not Appropriate

Updated on February 15, 2008
M.J. asks from Streamwood, IL
4 answers

I need help!!! My son has been being agreessive at school and I don't understand why? My Husband & I try to do stuff with him all the time - he is an only child.
He scratched a kid at school today because his team lost.....I asked him why and he says I don't know.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Hi All,

I just wanted to say - I am sooooo glad I found this site and everyone has been extremely helpful with there suggestions.....It truly helps to hear different ideas and to also bring you back to reality and sometimes things arent as bad as they seem......Once I found out that the other child was in my childs face yelling - I kind of understood - Still it is not appropriate to touch anyone else and I know that.....I had him role play with me what to do the next time someone get's in his face - to just say "WHATEVER" and walk away - He did SOOO GOOD - He even seemed to enjoy doing it!! So, at least I showed him what to do and helped him practice doing it. I can't remember the last time he hit anyone (It's been years - maybe when he was like 3 or 4) and he has NEVER just hit someone just to do it! So, Thank you all for your support - Sometimes I think it just feels soooo awful when the school calls you don't know what to do.....And being able to come out on this web-site and express your feelings helps soooo much!!!!!

THANKS AGAIN TO ALL!!!!

More Answers

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P.L.

answers from Chicago on

I think your actions depend on your son's age. When kids are young (sometimes through teens) and not able to express their feelings in words - they get frustrated and act out. Usually a phase - yet you need to respond to each situation - reminding him of the proper response - and maybe helping him express his feelings.
It may sound funny - but when my kids were so frustrated they couldn't express themselves - I would say things like "You seem angry" "I would be so mad if this happened to me" "sometimes things make me so sad / mad" - - and just give them the words that maybe they would use if they could think of them themselves.
Also - discussing what proper behavior would be - if he gets mad or disappointed or really angry - - give him some good ideas. I had my kids breath - 3 big breaths. Anything you want to give as an idea - maybe stamping a foot.... Also - watch how you and your husband respond when frustrated - - he is most proabably watching you and will pick up your good (or bad) habits.

Also - agree or not - I'd watch SuperNanny. My kids are 16 & 19 and I really think she gives great advice. Many of the things she promotes are things we did as my kids grew up.
Good luck

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B.G.

answers from Chicago on

You can request that the school do behavioral testing to see what the problem is or you can take your child to a social worker to try and find out what is going on.

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

Have your son's vision checked. My son was acting aggressive too and we were baffled. He is such a sweet, good-hearted kid. Turns out, he is nearly blind in one eye and the difference in his vision is causing him to be so irritable that he has been increasingly aggressive with other children.

Hope this is not the case but worth looking into. Good luck.
N.

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T.D.

answers from Chicago on

Well my daugther is 16 now and she was also having problems at school.

My situation was that she was getting so much attention at home that when she went to school they could not do the same since there are other kids in the class too.

She now attends an alternative school to give her the one on one she has been use too.

GOOD LUCK!

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