My Son Suddenly Refuses to Swim

I think first I would talk to him about it - see if there is something he is afraid of, embarrassed about, etc. Get his feelings about why he is so opposed to going to the pool. The screaming and crying sounds like there is more to it than just missing his old friends and home. Did someone pick on him or make him feel bad or afraid?

Then, I guess based on his response, I would not make a big issue of it, and find some other activities for him to do that he loves and is interested in.

He sounds like a good enough swimmer to me. I wouldn't push it. He can always catch up if he gets more interested in it later since he's not brand new to the water.

Total side note-There is a boy in my 4 yo daughter's swimming lesson who cries through the whole lesson. Every day. His mom explained to all of us moms that he's been put in the water since infancy and he's always been terrified of it. She's not backing down and she's keeping him in lessons. However, he was crying in the dressing room after the lesson because he was cold, crying in the parking lot because he wanted ice cream, crying because they didn't stop at the swings on the way to the car, she was appeasing appeasing appeasing, telling him he did great at the swimming lesson while he cried about the swing and the ice cream...and oddly enough, the day his dad brought him to the lesson, he didn't cry at all. HELLO! TANTRUMS!
Anyway, this isn't your son at all, but you did mention you'd have a crying child on your hands if he has to go to lessons, and he screams if you mention it.
Does he ever cry to get his way in other circumstances? This would need looking into, as far as what's allowed or not by mom and dad.

But, if he's only like this about swimming, I wouldn't worry about it or force it. Find something else he likes to do so he gets something fun and new associated with his new home.

Well, you said you already knew he was safe in the water.....why push him into something he clearly doesn't want to do? My son is 7 an he is just starting to "go under" water regularly, so I think your son is doing great.

Is there anyone you know with a pool who let you come swimming in a smaller setting? Or get a kiddie pool for him to mess around in and invite a few friends over for squirt gun fights to refill in the the little pool just for fun.
J. O

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Hi, Rita:

Have a family meeting and everyone takes turns answering these questions change them as needed:

What do you think when you realize you have to go to the pool?
What impact has this incident have on you and others?
What has been the hardest thing for you?
What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

See if this will get to the bottom of his issues.

Good luck. D.

Please don't push him. He is already "safe" in the water as you define it as he knows how to swim. There could be so many reasons why he won't deal with this new pool. Maybe he saw a kid who scares him or was mean to him-you never know. I would try to make some time for just you and him to really talk. Take him out for the day and have fun together. In a no pressure way try to get into his head a little about how he is doing, how his new school is, etc. Its tough with boys-they do not like to open up. This is the only way that I have been able to find out things about mine. I also ask my friends who have girls my son's ages if there is anything going on(girls always seem to dish to their parents!) One more thing I do is to lie with them every night to talk after prayers. They love to just talk a little bit about their day with me and it feels great to them that they have my full attention. I have learned much about them from these little "talk times" and encourage moms of boys to give it a try.

Swimming is not as important as his feelings. Ask him what he wants to do, and go do that instead.
If you really hated doing something and repeatedly said you didn't want to, it wouldn't really help if your husband kept dragging you out to the same activity again and again, right? It's really the same thing.