My Son Speaks Less Words!

My girl took her time to talk. There was nothing wrong with her. She knew many words just choice not to talk yet. Around 2 she just took off. Some days I wish she would stop for a breather. She is AG, and everything about her mind works great. Some times I think the ones that sit back awhile and take the sights and sounds of the world in are the smartest ones. When she started talking she know and understood how and when to use each word that came out of her mouth. She is 6 now and is going into the 2nd grade.

Follow your doctor's advice and don't give in to pointing, grunting, etc. when your son wants something. If he wants milk, ask him "Do you want milk? Say 'milk.'" and don't give it to him until he makes an attempt at the word. I'm not saying to withhold food or liquids from your child all day, every day, but don't give it to him immediately if he doesn't try to use words. Wait a few minutes until he's no longer asking and is distracted and then give it to him and repeat, "Here is your milk. You need to use words when you want something." As he's drinking, keep trying to get him to say "milk." When he does say it, or something close, praise him excessively. Tell him what a good boy, big boy, smart boy he is and how you know he has lots of words and can use them just like a big boy. Follow this example for EVERYTHING! It won't be easy at first and I'm sure he'll throw fits, but ignore them and be persistent at asking/expecting him to use words. It is what is best for your son! Good luck!

P.,

It is a very common issue for pediatricians to under estimate thier role in getting children the help they need when it is still early enough to do something about it. You want to waste no more time in your child's language development. The tone of your post is like it is because your mommy voice is telling you the right thing, something is wrong, you need help and it feels like the wrong advice to try harder to get him to speak more.

Listen to that voice, and call a speech therapist on Monday morning, make an appointment for a full speech and langague evaluation, and start therapy as soon as posible. When you get of the phone, investigate the EI intervention in California, but don't depend on that to be all he will need, they are only obligated to make him functional, and it will likely be several months before they come to see him and you may end up with the same kinds of advice you got from your pediatrician, because lets face it, that is cheap and easy for them.

The sooner you start intervention the better. The worst thing that could happen is that someone who knows, after testing him to find out, will tell you that everything is fine, and how bad would that be? You will either walk out the door knowing that you are on the road to helping him, or you will walk out the door knowing that he is fine, but you will walk out the door and know for sure that you are doing the right thing instead of rolling the dice and hoping that your child will be one of the few lucky ones who will just start talking one day out of the blue. The child who will do that looks just like the child who needs speech therapy at this age, but you don't want to wait another year without any progress to find out you should have acted now. ACT.

Don't pay a bit of attention to anyone who tells you about thier sister's friend's nephew who did the same thing and is now an honor student. He looked just like a child who is now illiterate and struggling to understand language concepts because he has little reading comprehension. You won't hear about that child on this site often, but I am here to tell you, I work with parents who have that kid every day as they struggle to get them approriate special education services, and it is the saddest thing in the world to go through thier years of evaluation data and see the missed opportunities because parents listened to someone who said "wait and see." Never wait and see when waiting will harm your child if you are wrong. Never wait and see with issues of development. This IS the time to be SAFE rather than sorry, because if you are wrong, the damage is often permanant and life long.

CALL, and I hope that makes you feel better today. Go have a good weekend, talk to him and don't worry about it all being your fault anymore. You can't stop a kid from talking by not being a good Mom, and I know that this has crossed your mind, you would not be worried about him if this was your fault.

M.

You can't FORCE him to say things by always doing that.
That is not how speech development works.
Some kids, just due to mouth/tongue/throat coordination, CANNOT say something EVEN if you don't give them the item until they say the word. If a kid can't say the word or does not know how... keeping it from them is not going to help nor speed up the process.

If your Doctor were helpful, he would have referred you to a local Early Intervention program, which is usually free to kids under 3 years old.

Don't beat yourself up over it or his speaking or not.

My son had speech therapy. It is very helpful... but if you don't know what you are doing, and just wing things... you may actually just make him regress more or then he will just get very frustrated and then he will not want to even try.... because it will make him feel inadequate. It will NOT make him confident.

You need the professional guidance of a Speech Therapist... if that is needed. It is really helpful and fun for the child... my son LOVED his speech sessions and his teacher.

all the best,
Susan

I feel your pain. My 25 month old is very intelligent as far as understanding goes. She responds to everything you tell her by doing, but saying is a whole other story. She says maybe 50 or so words :( Good Luck!! I hope you get some good answers..

P.,
Do you speak another language with your son? Is he learning more than one language at a time? Many children that are bilingual take longer to process both languages and are often a bit delayed, but catch up eventually and speak both languages well. That being said, I agree that you have to stop making things easier for yourself and your son by giving him what he wants without making him speak for it. You are not helping him. Yes, he may get frustrated. Learning new words can be very challenging, but it will not get easier as he gets older and still cannot speak well and express himself. One thing that has made the "terrible twos" a bit easier for us is that my son is able to communicate pretty well and can ask for things. I have watched many 2 year olds without good language skills get VERY frustrated and have meltdowns because they are not able to be understood. This is just the first of many times you will need to encourage your son to do something that is hard for him (and maybe hard for you). It's a good lesson to learn, and will help you much as he gets older.

Good luck to you. Get help if you cannot do it on your own.

T.
www.ReadandGrow.com

My daughter was 2 years old when we became her foster parents and she only knew about 20 words. I got her into a playgroup as well as putting her into preschool twice a week. I also received help from the school district with socialized speech with a rep/teacher coming once a week to work with her and also to give me tips on what to work on each week with her.

My daughters speech delay was due to her environment before coming to us, but most are due to each child and how they develop...and each child develops at thier own rate....you don't push it, you just give them the tools to help them develop.

You don't always have to go by what your doctor says..if you still are questioning your doctors advice, it is okay to get a 2nd opinion. Call your school district and ask them for thier early childhood intervention program that gets kids ready for school.

Also, if you haven't already, get involved in a mommy group. I started my own on meetup.com...just put your zip code in and whalla.....playgroups to join and have playdates where your son can socialize as well as you!

Also...at age 2 it's okay for them to do a little preschool for a couple of hours twice a week. Check out your local church's there and see if they hav a program or possibly your parks and rec.

Good luck and don't worry, you already are a proactive momma in getting your son the tools he needs to develop his speech! :-)

Your doctor has given you very sound advice. Your son will not speak if he doesnt' HAVE TO. You're the adult, be strong. Don't give in. My son had similar issues and we started playing with words in front of a mirror. We'd lay in front of it together, and I'd say a word - then he'd mimmick me. We'd make faces and laugh.(use common words that he'll need each day)..when the time comes to use them appropriately simply make the funny face to get him to say it, and soon he'll say it correctly. DO NOT GIVE IN without him saying the word necessary to receive goods. You're just teaching him that he doesn't need to talk.If he doesn't start to speak after these strategies, you might want to have him evaluated by a speech therapist, or have hearing checked. Good luck.

People always take the path of least resistance. If he can get what he want's by pointing and grunting (and you interpret what he means) then he'll keep doing the same thing. It's great we Mom's get so tuned into our infants that we can tell what they want before they can speak, but it can get in the way once they need to learn that skill. 2's and 3's are full of temper tantrums and frustrations because of the communication learning process. Read to him. We loved all the Dr Seuss books. 'Red Fish, Blue Fish', 'Hop on Pop', etc. Point out the pictures and words and have him try to repeat your words. Keep it silly and fun - make it a game. Some sounds and words are harder than others but accuracy is less important early on.

Contact the Regional Center in your area for a formal speech and language evaluation. Also, get his hearing tested. You can't advocate soon enough.

First off How many Languages are being spoken in the home. Mulit Lingual children offten take longer, but get there just the same in the end. And Believe it or not Sign Language really helps children learn to speak. I did sign with all of my children and have written a few papers in college on the subject. I did multi sensory actions, I would show the item, Say the name and perform the sign. Your local library probably has some videos you both can watch and you’ll have it in no time. Then make a game out of it. Allow him to express himself through the signs to build his confidence. Be his cheerleader.

Second Is he a first child? sometimes older children will talk a little later as they are not relating to children, just adults. Maybe a preschool or daycare a few times a week. Kids learn a lot from each other. Good stuff too not just the bad stuff.

I didn't read the other responses, but you mentioned in your update that he speaks another language. My youngest was exposed to 2 languages and was "delayed" in his milestones - party my fault as well because I didn't make him speak the word when pointing or me just knowing what he wanted was so much easier. We had his hearing checked, just in case, and it was fine. So, after that I started putting more effort into having him use his words.

I think you should stop worrying! My son didn't speak much either and I was worried by 22 months as well..... After he turned two - we couldn't shut him off!!! LOL

Give you son more time. Just because he isn't SAYING the words, doesn't mean he doesn't KNOW the words. At about 26 months my son started talking in sentences and we figured he was saving up - because at 6 yrs old, you can't get him to STOP talking!!!

Relax. Enjoy your son. Every child is different. He'll talk when he needs to and has something to say.

God Bless-
C.

While all kids are different, I'll share info about my two. They had very limited vocabulary at your son's age. I first expressed my concern to their ped when they were 18 months old. She asked me how their other language development was progressing - did they understand simple 1-step directions? Did they respond to hearing their name? Did they use facial expressions, hand gestures or body language? Since I felt they did all of that she suggested that I work with them, but not worry until after their second birthdays. Her theory was that since they were active kids (running, climbing, building, playing with balls, puzzles, etc) that they were using their energy in those areas so language was lagging a bit. So I read to them, talked about pictures in books, spoke in complete sentences with them sang to them, etc. Honestly within a couple weeks of their second birthdays they started speaking in sentences (2-3 words) and adding new words to their vocabularies every week. It seemed like it happened overnight. Now they are very good communicators and have no language difficulties. If you work with your son and he doesn't seem to make any progress you can get him evaluated. I assume your state has early intervention services - that would be a good place to start. Best wishes to you.

Dear P., I wish we all had perfect babies who follow a standard book/chart on milestones. My own neice used somewhere close to 25 words when she was two--it's possible that she was confused because her care taker did not speak English, or it is possible that she had some delays. Today she is 5 and is a non-stop chater box with a vocabulary of a highschools kid because she now loves to read and watch TV (don't know if it is good or bad). In any case-- you might want to take your kiddo to an SLP (speach language therapist)--If you are in Santa Rosa, you might want to try CPMC (California Pacific Medica Center in SF City). they will rule out any "organic" problems. You will feel better. But I have heard my pediatrician telling her other patients that if your kid cannot speak sentences by the time they are 36/38 mo, then you do have an issue and even then it can be fixed.

Good luck.

Contact your local regional center (your pediatrician should know who that is). In Santa Clara county its "San Andreas Regional Center." Ask for an "intake" and tell them you are interested in early intervention programs.

Once your son turns 3 you can contact the local school district and if they think he needs intervention, they will provide it. But don't wait that long!

Contact Parents Helping Parents in San Jose www.php.com

My son also didn't talk until much later. For the longest time, the only words he had in his vocabulary was "no", "mama", and "dadda", and even then he wasn't consistent with the latter two words.

The term "average" is relative, but the average number of words a 2-year-old has in his vocabulary is 50. Your son may understand 200 words in his head, but he is taking his time articulating what he knows. My son didn't start saying other words until 22 months, and then his vocabulary gradually increased so that he did have 50 words in his vocabulary by the next month. By 24 months he was putting together 3-word phrases. Be patient and give your son time! He'll be stringing words together before you know it!

I realized also that my son was more physical than others at his age. Many of his peers (especially girls) focused more on word play at this time, whereas he focused on climbing structures. He was able to climb up our stairs to the second floor on his own before he turned one, and he would climb all kinds of ladder structures at the playground by 18 months. Perhaps your son is focusing his energy elsewhere.

Another thing to note is family history. It's not always the case, but I found out from my mother-in-law that all three of her kids didn't speak until after age 2 - and they all developed well and talk too much now. ;)

At this age it is less about actual speech than it is about communication. Did the doctor suggest a hearing evaluation? If children don't hear well they cannot develop speech. When he is "asking" for something, what does he do? does he point or drag you over to what he wants? Does he look at you. is he able to repeat sounds and words if you are playing games or singing songs. There are lots of possibilities. Parents need to provide a "language rich" environment where you read and sing and describe what you are doing (in either language) so that he has plenty of opportunity to learn from many sources. Play games where he can finish words or sentences. Talk about what you are doing all the type. He is still young, but this is something that you should pay attention to and if he still has very few words when he is three you should contact your school district to have and evaluation and get him extra help to be sure he will be ready for school. Parents Helping Parents (www.php.com) in San Jose has lots of information about language development, you can also check with your local First Five organization

Hi P., as the mother of 5 I just have to tell you tahat each child is different in so many ways. I have one son that never even learned to walk until a yer -- why becasue he had everyone carry him so why bother, one that didn't talk becasue his siblings did it all for him, and one that had so many ear infections that he didn't learn to associate sounds to words until he was 3.
I want you to know that you have to decide who is the person in charge you or the child. If you think its hard now just wait untl he is older and you will not have a chance at teaching him or getting him to listen to you.
We made word charts by cutting picturtes from magazines and pasteing them on 3x5 cards and would go through them with our child that didn't speak-- turns out that he knew then and just didn't have the need to say it until his brother wasn't there to speak for him one day!!
For the child that had hearing problems it took speach therepy and several operations but he was 5 when he was able to get words out they were in his head just didn't have a way of getting them out.
Don't panic he is only a baby and to many people are out there selling and promoting things to make the kids do things before they are ready. Be sure that you read to your little one, use clear words and not baby talk and he will et it in time OR teach him SIGN LANGUAGE-- my son that iddn't speak could say his words in sign and many people teach this to babies. My friend Ovida, has taught Sign in our High School many years, and she is wonderful about teaching the small children words that are used everyday like shoes, shirt, eat and my little ones love talking with her. I beieve that you can get simple sign DVDs at any store.

Hello!
I read your post and cannot help thinking that Reiki would help. Reiki is energy, and there is a simple way to learn to give this energy to others and even to ourselves. If you take Reiki training, you will be able to give treatments to your child and also to yourself. Believe me, you will be glad.

My Reiki teacher, who lives in Jerusalem, Israel, will be coming to teach in the SF Bay Area during the first two weeks in June. Please get back to me so that I can send you more information about the classes, and even get you in touch with her so that you can ask her questions directly. Hurry, because she will be leaving Jerusalem on May 27th, and after that it will be hard for her to answer you.

sincerely,

S.

Hello there.
Have you thought of using Early Intervention? Your pedicatrician can recommend one in your area. They are very helpful.
You can also encourage your child just to make sounds at first, then words.
So when he wants milk make him say mmmmmmm.
When he wants you to open something for him, make him say oooooooh.
Then small words like hi, up, ut-oh, mama, dada, and praise him like crazy whenever he does these things.
Good luck!
~G.
www.bebettertoyourself.blogspot.com