Up until about 2-3 months ago, my son (3 this month) had no problems taking baths or showers. But, when my husband was out of town for a couple days, my son sprayed himself in the eyes with "Off." I hung him over the kitchen sink for a few minutes pouring water over his eyes - which involved a bit of screaming due to the sting of the spray and also what I was doing to him. I then called the poison hotline and they said to wrap him tight with a towel to help hold him still while I continued to pour water over his eyes for 15 minutes.
Ever since that incident, my son hasn't wanted to have anything to do with water getting on his head, face or ears. He screams as though he is being tortured even before we've begun. He will play in the bath/shower and even let us wash his entire body, but when it comes to his head - that's where the problems begin. Does anyone have any helpful tips to help us help our son get used to washing his hair again? Since he is our oldest, I worry that his fear of the water will pass down to his little brother once he understands what is going on. Thanks for your help.
Thank you for the great responses. Most of what was suggested we had already tried but it did spark a new idea for me. I thought the best idea was the swimming goggles, which I almost went to buy some today but couldn't get out to do so. My son always has fun in the tub up to the point of having to wash his hair. So, tonight I tried a little bath blow up pillow that I used before I was pregnant. I let out most of the water (except about 2 inches), then I convinced him to lay on the pillow since it wasn't in the water. It took a few attempts, but since the pillow was a new thing, it was exciting. We did use the wash cloth on his eyes and to cover his ears (which we'd been trying before and made washing his hair even possible even though he was still screaming). And, I only poured a little water at a time and did it quickly since it was his first time without screaming. IT WORKED! He was so proud of himself for being brave and now I have the pillow technique to use for a while until he gets used to just laying back on his own in the tub. Thank you so much for helping and for the great ideas that helped spark the pillow idea. I'm so glad it worked the first time through and I hope it works for many more baths.
Try those little bath hats. They are like a foam visor that you put on their head while you wash their hair so not water or soap gets in their eyes. Maybe that will help him calm down about the water on the head.
The good news is, most kids get over a lot of these issues over time.
Good luck.
My son went through a phase like that for several months and for no apparent reason. He loves water, will get wet with the hose but no water on the head in the shower or he's scream like he was being tortured. This might sound awful to you but when I noticed how much he liked the hose, running in the sprinklers I told his dad, instead of bringing him in for a shower, just wash him outside. It was hot outside anyway, we live in tx. So it worked, he loved bathing on the porch soap, shampoo and all. We let him hold the hose and it became a thing, "mommy can daddy give me a dog bath?" he'd say. I never dreamed my kid would bathe outside (he was 2) but whatever works you do. At the end of summer we told him it was too cold outside and he'd have to take his dog baths inside, there was a small transition but he got over it pretty quick. And hey his hair smells good now. He actually bathes himself about twice a day.
Behavioral therapists are very good at solving problems like this. You might call one and ask how many visits would be involved, what would it cost, and figure out the net cost to your wallet after insurance, co-pays, FSA accounts, etc. If it was me, I'd do it. (Get a recommendation from your pediatrician.)
If it would cost you net $180., for example, ask yourself, "Is it worth $180. for my son to have peace again regarding bath/shower?" The answer will probably be, "Hell yeah!"
And you're totally right about the younger son learning this behavior. My kids ARE NOT ALLOWED to express dislike of any foods at dinner, because the younger ones pick that up in a heartbeat and then also refuse to eat that food. They're very impressionable. (I don't force my kid to eat that food item; I just tell them they're not allowed to discuss it, frown at it, or in any way let their fellow diners know they're displeased.)
To your son the whole event was traumatic. He is having a trauma response. It might be a good idea to find a therapist that works with trauma release techniques like EFT or EMDR. It would only take one or two sessions to release the trauma your child has experienced and continues to experience any time he has water on his head.
we went through this a few months ago without an incident like yours even, anyway my dd went to swim class for 2 weeks this summer and now she is okay with bathing and even SHOWERING!! now. its crazy. but she likes to hold a washrag or towel over her eyes sometimes still. maybe that could help? but for my dd like the "doggy bath" kid it took making water fun that got her to enjoy it again. I heard from my sis that has 3 kids they all went through it around 3 yrs of age. so maybe its a phase most kids go through? I don't know but mine did...it will pass and in the meantime maybe find a fun activity that does get water in the face like running through sprinklers or going to a splash park or swimming and see if that doesn't help your son. good luck!!
I hope you get lots of good advice with this. All I can point out is that your boy is only three, and he doesn't have reality sorted out. He had a traumatic experience (by accident) with the poison, and now he thinks, "Here comes the water routine again - what will happen next?" He's not up to understanding that it's not the water's fault! You might call your doctor's office to ask if they can give you any advice; your son is probably not the first patient this has happened to. It could be that if he could get to be willing to pour the water over his own head - to be in charge of doing it instead of having it done to him - perhaps it might help. If it turns out that what frightened him was having the water on his face for that long a time (fifteen minutes is forever!), then it's time to have counting practice in the bathtub, perhaps. These are just ideas off the top of my head.
It may just be a phase - both of my kids have gone through phases of screaming when I wash their hair. My oldest is past it, but my son acts like the world is ending if there is any water on his head.
Maybe you could try to take a bath with him to reassure him that the water won't hurt him. If mommy is in the water too then it might help him realize that it's okay.
My son is younger, but went through something similar whenever I tried to rinse his hair in the bath. A friend suggested having him lay back to rinse his hair and this has been working great. Along with this, we also have some bath toys that spit water and we play with those and randomly spray his face and head, laughing while we do it, so that this is fun. I also use the face cloth and let it "rain" on him. First his hands, then up his arm to his shoulder, then his head. This seems to be a non-threatening way to get him used to it again. I think that the pool is a great idea if you have access to one (we don't). Just make baths fun again, and he may forget all about it. That's my plan anyway. Good luck.
let him shower with you....and don't do any soap at all...just let him play in the water with it spraying everywhere. Draw letters on the wall in the steam
this gives him some good experiences with water
What about using a spray bottle to rinse his hair, or maybe his favorite cup. With a spray bottle, I think I'd let him test it out first-adjust the spray & practice spraying against the shower wall, have him taste the water sprayed out to see that it's just water, compare the temp w/the water in the tub, the water coming out of the faucet, etc. Make it more of an experiment, make sure you're using tear-free shampoo & let him know his hair is going to get wet & rinsed either way, but he can do both if he chooses. You might also want to cut his hair short so it's easier & faster to wash.
We've also got a detachable shower head. My boys are old enough to bathe themselves now but I used to let them hold the nozzle after I had showered them clean, just so they could "shower themselves".
Ok, I know it sounds a bit dorky, but try to find some swim goggles that will fit. Then he can wear them during showers/baths and the water won't reach his eyes (or at least less will!).
My son also doesn't like water near his eyes, but this has helped a lot. Of course you have to make it a fun game, too. ;)
Good luck!
