I have a 3 year old boy who will be 4 this Friday. He has developed ,in the last couple of years, a thing for hair. He has to touch my hair all the time. He also has to be near me and on my lap. He will also try to touch strangers hair. He is in Head Start and they use the hair as leverage sometimes. They think he may have a sensory issue. Has anyone else had this issue? Can someone give me some advice. He is going to be evaluated and would really love other peoples opinion on this.
He is a middle child. I also I have 10 year old son and an 8 month old son.
Hi,
My son is 3 as well. He will be 4 in May and he loves to play with my hair. It seems to help him soothe when he is tired or cranky. He usually likes to twirl my hair at night before he goes to sleep. When he was younger, he used to play with my mother's hair as well. He has never tried to touch strangers hair though. I don't see any sensory issues. Hope this helps.
Hi-
So glad to see your post. I too have a three year old boy who loves my hair in particular, but will try to touch other people's hair as well (mostly women in my family). My son is in occupational therapy for sensory issues (in addition to low muscle tone). It's a comfort thing for him. It can be frustrating and at times odd for others to see but honestly, he has been doing it since he could grasp so I am used to it at this point. Good luck on the eval. and feel free to contact me if you need any other assistance.
Let me know what you find out. I thought it was more of a comfort measure. My 5 year old loves to poke mine/other people's eye, it has been a water torturing habit since about 6 months. Ker
Hi J., don't rule out obsessive compulsive behavior. I would change his diet and make it organic. I would get rid of high fructose corn syrup, food dyes, sugar, gluten and see if he changes. I would also supplement with a high quality fish oil, such as Nordic Naturals or Carlsons. Also, get his vitamin D levels checked. If he is deficient, you could supplement with cod liver oil, instead of fish oil.
Hi J.,
Children with sensory issues, are just like any other child the only defference is how they process information through their senses. The reason I know this is because my daughter has something similar to what your son has. She loves hair too! For her it's a way of soothing herself. She touches other peoples hair and fals asleep with my hair in her hands. If you have any other questions please feel free to write to me.
P.S. I think it's great you are having him evaluated!
Hi,
I have had this experience too. This is common enough to have a nickname, "silking". There was even a Mom who used to make/sell dolls that had a lock of Mom's hair sewn into them (she doesn't do it anymore). My son developed this habit young, and I encouraged it because it soothed him so much. He never took to a pacifier or any type of lovey. He also does it to the kids in school. It did start to annoy me at some point! I started telling him no and he would get very angry, sometimes hit me. I always try to respond with a hug, some soothing words, and a very kind exlpanation (it hurts Mom), and of course a reminder that hitting is not ok. I understood that it was very soothing to him and I did not want him to feel rejected. It is so profoundly satisfying for young children to touch Mom/Dad. For myself, as much as I love to hug and hold my son (now almost 5), there are times when that gets overwhelming!
I think your son is old enough that you can set a boundry and say no if it annoys you. I would suggest you are clear as to why (it's uncomfortable). I think it's important to teach kids that there are boundries, the important one here being that they can not get pleasure at the expense of others. From talking to Moms, it seems like most kids develop some little soothing habit, like fingering mom/dad's earlobe or, in the case of my friend's daughter holding a finger and pressing on the fingertip. Boys in particular need lots of sensory input, there is a wide range of normal for this. That is not to discourage any evaluation, as it is better to know than to not know! Some parents have had success with a hairpiece. I did not, maybe I tried it too late. He may be old enough to be involved in the process of chooseing a surrogate like a hairpiece (let me know if you want the one I have, light brown, long hair, I'd be glad to send it to you) or something else (maybe a piece of silk?). I would not be happy about knowing that it was being used in the school setting as some kind of leverage. I don't think it should be used to manipulate a child or humiliate.
A great opportunity for similar sensory input could be shaving cream in the bathtub. My son used to love playing with soap from one of those pumps that makes it foamy. I liked this as there is less soap waist, but the feeling is not as intense.
All the best!
C.
I am 30, having the same prob for the days i remember,(around from 3yrs). Something will tempt me to hold or to do something with my mom's hair, when she have applied oil in her head, or some one's hair who have applied oil in their hair head. Without oil, i wont be tempted to touch. I don't even share this issue with anybody before, because i don't know how to start and what they will think. Any remedies..??
Hi! I dont really have any advice as much as sympathy. I literally just got my 16 month old daughter to sleep by crouching down with my head on her pillow so she could hold my hair. I have had to do this ever since she was born and it gets really frustrating. Right now I am 5 months pregnant and it is getting harder to accomodate her. Also when she wakes up in the middle of the night I have to do the same thing for as long as it takes,(sometimes it takes FOREVER)! I want to get off the hair....dont know how. If anyone has any ideas please help.
C.
