My Son Has Suddenly Started Telling Lies

Updated on May 12, 2008
T.T. asks from Shreveport, LA
5 answers

Wow, I can't not believe tht my 15 year old son chooses now to start telling lies. Not even to get him out of trouble just because it seems like. He has told a few before, but only when he thought that it would keep him out of trouble. I thought we had gotten past this point until he started telling lies it seems just because he can talk. It started with this new school he is attending. I have tried explaining that trust is a fragile thing and if he wants to start dating and driving when his friends do, I need to be able to trust him. I have taken away EVERYTHING!!. No punishment that my sisters have suggested have worked. I am changing his school for the next school year! I know i can't do that every year, but i'm at my wit's end. We have a great relationship and I want to keep it that way.

What can I do next?

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W.U.

answers from Jackson on

A lot of moms may not agree with my tactic, but if it works, I say go with it. I had a teenager who was just like your son. He was driving me crazy with lying, laziness and the list goes on. What I decided to do was to promise him things and then lie to him and tell him I didn't remember saying this or that. This really hurt him that I lied to him. He felt that his mom and dad are not suppose to lie to him. I would go into his room and mess it up even more to where he couldn't find things that he really liked (I hid them). It was a long process, but he finally got the hint. He didn't think he was hurting anyone by doing what he did. I told him that it hurt just as much, if not more, when he lies to us. He has become the child before the lying, etc. started. I do hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Hattiesburg on

Well I had this problem with my son when he was 15 too. But what I discovered was he was lying to get attention. There's something going on with him you just have to keep watch..And continue to show him there are serious consquences to lying. Well my son is 18 now and sometimes I still catch him in lies. But its always one to make him seem popular or smart. I really think it has to do with self-esteem issues..Just continue not letting him get away with them. I wish you well and be blessed.

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M.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Dear T.;
I am the mother of 3 boys ages 18,16,14. The relationship between mother and son naturally changes at about this age. I'm not saying lying is right but you start to become "mom" the ever to be protected, (spared), sacred person who a young man does not want to have know that he has faults. I have learned the hard way my sons didn't misbehave because of something I did or didn't do it was just a right of passage.
Hope this helps,
M.

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D.R.

answers from Biloxi on

I have a similar problem. I stopped giving my 14 yr old son an allowance because he is so versed with the gift of speaking, lying & calling me names, etc. Well, I pray for him & keep loving him & try to hug him when we're alone. My mother in law says they make their own choices. we taught them what we could & they just do these things, then we love them anyway. My husband says he was kinda like that growing up & just thinks we should choose our battles & overlook the other stuff. take a step back & look at the big picture. I guess there is no easy answer. my 18 yr old doesn't do scary boundary stretching things, but does stretch the truth. He seems like he could go out into the world and do okay.

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R.C.

answers from Tulsa on

I know what you are feeling my son use to lie so much that I couldnt believe anything that came out of his mouth. It started when he was about 9 and every year after it would get worse. He was getting so good with telling lies that it sounded like the truth and I wanted to believe him and if I did it hit me in the face, because I would find out he was lieing. And the one time I didnt believe him and he got in a lot of trouble for lieing on this person he was telling the truth and I couldnt take the punishment back, and I felt real bad, but he still wanted to lie to me. It wont matter what school you put him in he is still going to do it. All you can do is hope that he will grow out of it one day. My son is 22 now and I want to trust him but I take it a day at a time.

A little about me:

I am married been married about 11 years now, but when I had my son I was only 17 and I raised him on my own until I was 21. I also have a 18, 16, 3, 3, 5, 5, 6. These are all my children and I love them very much, every one of them have a problem, but I love each of them and work threw the problems.

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