My usually easy-going 15month old son has recently started whining. I'm not sure if he even knows that he's doing it sometimes? My frustration comes b/c he is still unable to communicate exactly what he's wanting, so we both get frustrated b/c we're both not on the "same page". I obviously want to meet his needs, but the constant whining every evening is driving me insane (in his defense this is happening mostly in the evenings, when I would expect him to be more tired and worn out after a long day in daycare)!!
I used to say, "take mommy's hand and show me what you want me to get for you" or "point to what you want, mommy can't understand you". Just keep repeating, "mommy can't understand you when you whine, stop whining and try to tell mommy or show mommy"
W.
My children whine when they are hungry, thirsty, or tired. Feed him, give him a drink of milk, and put him to bed.
When my children were little I made communication a game. If you make it fun to try to tell you what he wants he will get better at it. "Oh no, your silly mommy doesn't know what you want. Let's see... Do you want a glass of milk?" and get him to nod his head if that is what he wants. Make it a game that you are playing and it will be less frustrating. "OK you do not want a glass of milk. Do you want a cookie?" There are only a limited number of things that they want and if you keep striking out offer a cookie. Most kids will take a cookie or a piece of fruit and let it go if they can't get you to understand.
If you make it a frustrating thing he will get increasingly more frustrated and it is crazy making for both of you.
One of my kids was a whiner. He did it constantly and, I think, kept it up until he was three or so. Then he talked incessantly. If, in the morning, he said, "I had a dream," I learned not to ask what it was about because he could go on for an hour. Literally.
He got quiet in his pre-adolescent and adolescent years. Now he's a very thoughtful 19-year old who loves debating with the other guys in his dorm, not to mention his brothers. He can still go off on a tangent and talk for hours, but he's learned how to moderate his impulses.
My advice would be to find ways to help yourself cope with his whining. It will pass. And you may find out that when he's older he has quite a lot to say.
I agree with Dawn B. Toddlers get frustrated often when they can't communicate or get their way. I'd just add that the evening has always been our witching hour, when my son gets the fussiest. It helps to keep him from getting too hungry between meals with healthy snacks or water. They may also be teething, so a little Oragel or similar aid to sooth the pain might help. Try to keep your cool. Maybe play soothing music or read him a story. Find a toy or something to occupy him if you're busy making dinner and can't give him your full attention.
.
My son was colicky, then fussy, then a whiner (and still is from time to time). Like you, he would always be worse in the evenings. What time do you put him to bed? I would suggest an early bedtime,esp if he has to get up for daycare in the morning. That helped my son tremendously. Good luck!
I wrote in about this about a month ago, and didn't get many responses, so that left me with an even worse feeling. My daughter is also 15 months. Is your son a vergo? When I was pregnant I looked that up and the first thing it said was "fussy", I was like oh great!! :) Now, I hate it when people prejudge others for any reason, so I tried to forget about that, but none the less, she does show signs of that every now and again.
We tried the sign language thing early on, but it didn't work for us. You may even try cue cards (like picture cards) for things and ask him as he is whining. Either way, I really don't want her to grow up to be one of those whinny adults. The other lady was right about they either need changed, need a drink, or need a nap. Usually mine needs a nap! :) Hopefully, once they learn to talk it will be much smoother sailing!
Merry Christmas!
Amanda
I think you're right that he's tired after a long day. If you're worried about being on the same page with things, you could consider teaching him some basic sign language. Kids learn it fast at this age -- and there are books out there just for toddlers focusing on words they know. We did that with our son so he was able to sign when he was thirsty (the "cup" sign is very simple) or lost a toy. That helped us understand him before he was able to talk. Good luck.
