My Son Constantly Is Fighting Me...

Something that really jumped out at me was the part about the play date. If there is such a fight before going on a play date then maybe there should not be one that day. The same goes for the fighting when it is go time.

Start really talking to him.
CHILD "I don't like getting dressed"
MOM "What is it about getting dressed that you do not like? Would you rather have the blue shirt today?"
Children are often looking for control and many issues boil down to just that. If you give some choices to your son he may feel more in control of his life and put up less of a fight. It will take a little time. Old habits are hard to break.

Also start to instill in him that he should ask for what he does want instead of saying what he does not want.

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Child and Family Coach, B. Davis

It sounds like he want's to be in control, and at this age it is totally normal. My son is 2 yrs old and has started to fight for control on ocassion too. Try telling him what the plan for the next day is as part of his bedtime routine the night before that way he knows what to expect the next day. And when ever possible try to give him choices and let him decide when you can. Like letting him choose what he wants to wear (it may not match, but who cares if it helps to skip the fight over getting dressed). With my son he dosn't want to go for car rides, even though he likes too, he'll tell me no. So I give him a choice when i can, do you want to take the car or the truck, go out the front door or the back, do you want to go to giant first or wal-mart first. Just dont ask if you want to go or not, he'll most likely say no. When you ask a question don't ask yes or no questions, that way he can't choose no.

Hi L.,

What stuck out the most to me in your request is that you stated "It is very frustrating to have to fight someone all day every day." If it is frustrating to you don't do it. Each time he puts up a fight try telling him that his behavior is not acceptable and you are not going to fight with him so please do what mommy is asking? The key is to be consistent. It will take a lot of effort, but you will be surprised at how well he will respond. Also, check out the show Super Nanny for help on these kind of issues, she is great!

Hope this helps,
A. F.

Sounds like your son is having some issues with control. Some kids want all the control and some want a little bit of control. I found that with my daughter- when she was his age and went through a phase like this- I would have to explain to her that if she didn't get dressed we couldn't go for a ride in the car or if she didn't want to leave the playdate we couldn't go home and have her favorite dinner. I tried to make the power struggle become more about all the things she would miss if she didn't cooperate.