My 2 year old son recently had a little scare at the pool in our community. He LOVED water!!! But we were at the pool one day and he slipped off the step as I was putting his swimmmies on (he only had one on) and he went totally under water (unexpectedly) It was only for a second, he didn't throw up or spit out any water, and the saddest thing is that he thought it was his fault. He looked me right in the eye and said "Im sorry, mommy, I fell" It broke my heart, and needless to say I felt so guilty. He didn't shed a tear, while I was fighting back mine. Well, it's been about a month since that has happened. We have gone to a water park since then, and there were no problems, but about 3 days ago, he started not wanting to sit down in the tub, and not wanting to go to the pool (a different one), I took him to the beach and he wanted no parts of the water. I don't understand the delayed reaction to this, but is there any right way to handle getting him back into the water without fear again. I read some articles. One said, just put him right into the water and don't let him tell you no. (that sounds so cruel) Another said introduce him gently, and go at his pace. Well the way it looks now, that will never happen. Anyone with any experience with this sort of problem before????
I would say if you feel that you have to have him in the water, do it very slowly and at his own pace. I would personally not make him get in the water. Some kids don't like the water. When we go to the beach, my son doesn't even touch the water. We could be there all day and he does nothing but play in the sand. It is just his choice.
K.,
I think that little "scare" happens to most kids...a similar scenario happened to my son at around the same age. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I've read that a child should have a little fear of the water in order for them to respect it and be careful around it. Personally, I wouldn't force him into anything. Just let him go at his own pace. He's really little yet and I'm sure in time he will rebuild his confidence.
A reminder to never rely on arm swimmies or anything like that to keep a child afloat as they are not lifesaving devices--nor are swim rings, rafts, etc etc etc. I'm not preaching here--I'm just really freaky about little kids and water. Never can be too safe.
I had my son in one of those full baby floats when he was two and he loved it. Not sure how heavy your son is but maybe some extra floaties may make him feel safer.
Hi K.
My son is 3 1/2 years old. Two summers ago he was a pool/water freak. We went to the ocean and he got knocked over by a wave as soon as he wandered up to the waters edge. I won't blame my husband even though I yelled at him to hold his hands and he didn't..., but my son still will not go into a pool larger than a wading pool. We have tried the ocean again last summer and I have pictures of him standing with his feet in two buckets full of water on the beach. We tried the pool at Disney this november, I have pictures of him playing with his cars by the lounge chairs. He won't go in. We haven't tried yet this summer so I don't know what will happen, but he already told me that he talked to his Uncle and he and his Uncle are going to play in the sand and he doesn't have to go in the water. I refuse to force him into the water. I am hoping that on his own time he will warm up to it and will see everyone having fun and will do it on his own. Until then, I take him with us to wherever it is and then it's up to him. We don't go to the shore or pools that often so maybe if he was exposed more often/ more repeatedly he would be over it by now so my suggestions is just keep going and let him do it on his own.
Acknowledge the legitimacy of his feelings. Reassure him that you understand why he feels the way he does (get him to tell you what exactly frightens him, as best he can, so that you can respond point by point). Then I would do slow reintroduction to it all over again.
Let him know it is okay if he wants to stay out of the water for a while, but see if he can be near it instead. You can hope he'll regain himself this summer.
This is not a silly fear; it is a physical threat to him and he knows it.
As far as tub... can he shower briefly instead of bathe? Can someone sit in the tub with him? He must accept cleaning. Ask him what upsets him in that setting... Or is it that phase that happens to be compounded now from the pool? (My daughter wigged out about baths when she was 2 1/2. It was one of the questions here recently, so it is a common phase.)
Good luck!
Hey K.,
I think it's really important to keep exposing him to water, but not force him to go into it. Keep going to the swim park. Let him stand in the tub if he needs to while you wash him. Just keep on exposing him to water otherwise his fear will build. Maybe try a kiddie pool in the backyard? Good luck!
M.
My son never liked the water. I am not sure he had a bad experience but I spent thousands of dollars on swimming lessons and he rarely got in the water.
My other 2 were right in the water and continue to swim. He is now a teenager and is taking swimming lessons. ( doing very well) We just went on vacation and I was surprised to see him in the waves.
I would suggest you let your son go at his own pace. Let him first play with water.( pouring water from cup to cup)I would not "put" him or throw him in the water. He will go when he is ready.( or when he is hot!)
On another note,with a background in sales and marketing, you should start your own business. I started selling jewelry about 1 year ago and am doing very well on my own schedule.
There are numerous home sales businesses that your background may help you with.
Good luck...
Hi,
I had a similar experience with my child, don't push him just ease him back in a little at a time. If you go to the beach, play by the water. Go to the water and watch him, ask him if he wants to go with you. But don't push him if he doesn't. It may take some time but he will be fine. I am sure of it.
hi K.-
i had taught a child lessons several years ago and he was doing great and almost swimming on his own entirely.
then one day he came in for his lesson and he was holding on for dear life. i tried to figure it out, but wehn i had no answers, the Mom told me he had seen FInding Nemo and got scared of the water ever since. i basically had to start all over with him in terms of lessons and getting him gradually accustomed to the water again. and hold him to help him float, etc when he was able to do all that without me just a week prior.
so my first suggestion is to actualy ask him what happened? is he scared of the water? and see if you can find out what the trigger was for the sudden fear. it might have nothign to do with the falling under the water by the pool.
joanna chodorowska
www.nutrition-in-motion.net
nutrition and swim coach
I recommed getting him one of those full-body swimsuits with the flotation device built in. Show him the suit, let it float by itself in the tub. Have him push it under the water and watch it pop back up. Than ask him if he wants to try it on dry .. just to see how it feels. The next step would be in the tub with it .. and then maybe a kiddie pool .. gradually increase the depth/volume of water. Don't push too hard too fast, but also don't let go of the issue. Do you swim? Maybe having you go swimming while he watches you would reassure him that it's ok. If you have a good time in the water, so will he!
