My Son - Chicago,IL

I have an only child and he struggled with this too. I started small and told him that he had to go to his toy room for ten minutes and play by himself. It took a long time for him to be able to do it but he finally could. Then we said 15 minutes... Now he is ten and still doesn't like to be by himself. He has a toy room he almost never goes in but he knows it is okay to be by himself. He is just a very social child and would much prefer to have others around but he does have the ability to be alone and not be stressed or "be bored"

How old is your son? You can encourage independent play but some kids are naturally better at playing on their own then others.

I have two kids. My oldest child, who is 6, sometimes will play on her own, but has always preferred to be playing with someone. My youngest child, who is 4, has an easier time playing on her own. I think it has to do with personality types.

I first was the same way for a while, then he finally started playing on his own. My youngest is a different story. He is happy to play on his own & has been like this since he was about 18 months.

God bless

Maybe it's just his personality. Both of my sons play well together and on their own. My friends son doesn't like to play alone in a room for very long, now in first grade. He's been that way as long as I know. We parent nearly the same, but he's always been around more family than my sons. So it could be loneliness, the environment, or it's just his personality. Observe what/how he does things. Does he follow you when you leave the room, have an imaginery friend, ask for a certain person to play with him every time, bring his toy to the room someone is sitting in...then maybe you'll see a pattern to what he does and why.
Good Luck

your son is just growing when my son was growing he would not be left alone for two mins with out screaming for some one to play with . So your son will probaly grow out of it in time just wait and soon he will be play on his own in no time

love: H. P.

It is a personality 90%. I agree with Nora, though, that if you teach him to play alone it will be usefull for him in the future so do try, you never know. The child's character, however, dictates the bahavior a lot. My older son is like that and as a young child wanted attention all the time. As soon as adult attempted to withdraw - activity stopped. Attempts to change his personality have been unsuccessfull so far, alas. Still needs a "personal coach", "friend/helper" almost all the time. It is difficult, I agree, but we acomplish a lot so far and cannot leave him half-way. He is growing up but just a lot slower. It can be good at times because he is interested in spending more time with family than with friends/school buddies and very choosy when picking friends, always looking for mature ones.
So there is good and bad in it, just enjoy the one you have.
Good luck.

I agree that it is more personality then anything else. Some people are more extroverted and thrive on alot of interaction. My son never enjoyed playing on his own, until video games of course, and then he prefers the ones where he is playing other people online, etc. I grew up in a family of four kids and being very introverted, couldn't get away from them all enough!
I don't experience it the same way as Cherry-jam who says her kid needs a "friend/helper". My son prefers to play and interact with people, especially other kids, rather than alone, but isn't looking for a mature person to help him. He has always had tons of friends and used to befriend kids of all ages at the park when he was very little (with supervision of course).
You don't say how old he is either. You can encourage him to do things on his own, like projects, building stuff, kits, and read of course, when he is old enough to do that stuff. That doesn't mean he will really enjoy it, but perhaps eventually he will. Being an only child can be tough for somebody who is very social. Make sure he has plenty of time with other kids! And include him in what you are doing as soon as you can. If my son wanted interaction and I was busy making dinner I would say come help me make dinner-and he would. That was cool.

what age is he? if 4 or under this is very normal

regardless of what causes it, you must make him learn this important skill. Being able to play on your own as a young child translates to being more able to do your school work on time and on your own, being able to make friends (I know that sounds counter productive but it's true) and being able to be a better functioning adult. Remember our goal as parents is for the kids to function without our help and eventually leave us.

Now how to fix it. Start out small. Say you and he are playing legos/duplos. Show him how to build something new and then tell him you need to fold laundry, cook lunch, go potty, whatever and that you'll be back in a few minutes to see his building. Then go away for about 3 minutes, come back and congratulate his efforts if he did them. If he didn't do anything tell him to call you when he has built it cause you need to get whatever done.

Keep doing this with different toys you own. Teach him how to play with each and every one of his toys in this way.

Depending on his age you may also want to enroll him in preschool as this is a major skill I teach in my preschool and most preschools should teach that skill.

hehehe...mine won't either and he's 8!!! maybe only child syndrome, but i was an only child and preferred playing alone!!! he may just be used to the adult attention (i think that's what is with my son). i don't think you need to worry, just keep making play dates : ) good luck

My son is an only child and he has a pretty good balance of playing on his own and wanting us to play with him, but ultimately that's the issue right? I love playing with my son, but not every waking hour!! We kind of made him figure out how to entertain himself, he figured it out and it actually helped him build his imagination as well, it's all good.