D.D.
Hi N.
Been there done that...to the point that I was just a walking robot...she needs to go see a therapist and deal with the issues that she has...therapist can also teach her "coping" skills...It does sound like she has sensory issues..ie the hugging, touching, large crowds...If she doesn't want to see a therapist..try a family intervention. Have you asked her what SHE thinks is going to help. She may not answer but might think about it. Sometimes the low self esteem is something people are born with..I had the same issue and so does my daughter...even though my daughter constantly gets praise..Try baby steps...maybe make an appt with a therapist and go with her...until she feels comfortable going on her own. Try including her in things or outings that you go to...It sounds like she needs to be brought out of her shell..sometimes though only when the person is ready will things change...
I hope this helps both you and her.
d