My One Year Old Biting Son

I agree about having to stay on top of it. It is hard my first son did the same thing. Time out and talking to him was the only thing that finally worked. I finally got him to let me know when he was feeling frustrated so I could help him calm down. It is hard when you have to work and trust someone else to be consistant with the way you are trying to deal with it. Just know he will grow out of it.
A.

HI. I sympathize with you. My first child picked up biting after her friend would continously bite her. It lasted for months, and I was not having it. She started biting her baby brother really bad. She was very young like your boy. We put her in timeout, took away her favorite toys, and a million other things. But the biting would creep back. Just stay on top of it b/c they will out grow it. I know it stinks, just keep making it abundantly clear that it is not ok every.
Take care,
R.

Dear G.,

Well, when one is 17 months old and someone takes your bike away, you bite !! He doesn't have words yet, but he does have teeth.

No, it will not be a habit, so get that out of your mind. He will need to be watched and when someone bites him, and they will, and he is still crying, then bring to his attention that it hurts when someone bites you, doesn't it? Maybe you can say it another time when he quits crying and can hear you.

It is just what children do when they do not have the social skills or the ability to say, I love you, or don't do that to me, or get away. Keep telling him not to do that, and he will eventually mature enough to be able to handle his feelings.

Don't worry, it is o.k., you probably bit your friends too when you were little.
Sincerely, C. N.

I work at a group home for children and have been through some intense training on how to deal with the different behaviors of the children.
For biting I was taught that if some one bites you to gently push back the portion of your body back into the bite. This is supposed to release the bite. Lucky i've never had to try to but its supposed to work.
It might be a phase the his going through, hopefully he grows out if it. Good luck.

I just saw a video on this matter at babycenter.com. it's in the video section called Positive discipline: Handling biting and goes over some suggestions for different situations where biting occurs. The main message is not to punish your todler for biting, it's a natural thing that goes away by 3-4 yrs of age. Remove him from the situation and have a cooling off period to settle him down. Hope this helps.

I know this sounds weird but they do not understand that they are hurting someone. The way I got my son to not bite ever again was a tip given to me by my sister in law who went through the same thing with her daughter. You just have to bite them back just hard enough that it hurts them. He has not bit since and my niece never bit after that. My niece was bitting so hard she was breaking skin on y sister in law. I know this sounds weird but it work for both of us and I have also been told the same thign by other moms. Hope you can break him of his habit.

Good Luck!

Our daughter bit for about 6 months. It seemed like years though! It was extremely traumatic for us. We tried everything in the parenting books and advice from friends and family (whether we asked for it or not). Nothing seemed to be working so finally at the request of our preschool we spent a ton of money on behavioral therapy...this did not even seem to really work, although she did learn to communicate her feelings better. Then, one day we decided that we were going to take her out of the preschool and she has not bitten since she switched to a new care provider. Your child is about the same age as ours was when she started biting. You will get through it not matter how you feel right now. We even had a friendhip that was forever changed over the biting becuase our daughter bit their child and they did not want our kids to hang out together. It is really hard, but you will get through it.

Hello. My son was biting for a while. He is 20 months. My solution was to tell him "We don't bite. Biting hurts. You can give kisses instead of biting" and it really worked. He will occassionally attempt to bite me, but he seems to remember what I said and he will kiss me instead. This is very normal for this age because they don't have the words to express what they are feeling. Another piece of advice would be to give him words to use. When someone takes a toy and he wants to bite them tell him to say to the other child "My Turn" and to hold on to the toy. He will not start saying it immediately, but when he starts talking more you will have provided him with the words to use. I have done this with my son who had toy issues as well, but since he has a speech delay he doesn't say much but he does hold on to his toy and makes a growling sound instead of biting or throwing the toy when a child approaches. My goal with my son is to explain to him in as few words as possible why we don't do certain things, how it makes others feel, and give him an alternative (such as words or another reaction). An example would be "We can't bang on the tv, but we can knock on the door/wall" and I'll take him to do the alternative activity. Or if he hits someone I'll say "We don't hit. Hitting hurts (point out the other child's face and emotions). Let's use gentle hands." and I'll show him what gentle hands are. These techniques have worked very well with my son. I hope this helps.

Hi,
Prevention is the key, but your going to need help from the daycare. Is there enough help in the daycare? It sounds like your sons biting is provoked. It is a defense that some kids learn about very early and one that works for them very well.

In my daycare the biter is always by my side and if not by my side, contained in some way, until the behavior stops. If, I allow the biter to wander off to socialize with the others, I keep a watchful eye. Biters position for the attack. Keep a whistle handy and blow if there is another kids body part anywhere near the mouth. If in doubt, blow anyway. It will turn heads, breaking the position of the biter. If you don't want to use a whistle, then clap your hands really loud several times and use an extremely firm voice.

I had a biter in my daycare during my visit for accreditation visit. I prevented a bite by clapping my hands very loud and saying " Get those choppers back in your mouth" very firmly. I was told that it was perfectly acceptable.

He is still young enough for a highchair or playpen. The other kids need to be protected, but they also need to understand why your son took a bite. Also, your son needs to see the pain he has caused to someone else.

The biter never gets all of the loving attention after biting. The victim does. First, I show the biter the bite mark and explain that it hurts really bad. I get an ice pack and really play it up. The biter has to help treat the victim.

With this said, I think that your son needs some protection form other kids taking things from him also. There is nothing more irritating to me than seeing older kids pick on little ones because they think they are defenseless. It is not fair. Older kids get away with this stuff all the time. If your son has a toy, he should be able to play with it without worry. Biting is never acceptable, but sometimes understandable!

The following is a suggestion from 30 years ago. It was published in a book. It is no longer socially acceptable, but it works!

I used it on my own 30 year old son when he was about 2. One time did it. He never took a bite again.

My son came up behind me when I was doing the dishes and took a big bite on my thigh. I put his own arm in his mouth. I placed my one hand on the top of his head and the other hand under his chin and caused him to bite himself. He never tried to bite again because he now understood the pain that it caused. One time is all it took.

The real key is prevention until he outgrows his animal behavior.

D.