My Oldest Is Starting Jr. High, I'm Freaking Out.

I can't say if it's normal or not but my oldest is starting 9th grade this year (tomorrow morning) and I'm freaking out too. Note that it is 4am here and I'm wide awake printing off school stuff about the school he's going to.
I can totally relate to how you feel. I also have 3 boys, the youngest being 5. OMG I'm freaking out. My baby is starting kindergarten in addition to my oldest starting high school. Not enough nerve pills in the world for me right now. lol

Dear E.,

You are very smart to be nervous, but make up your mind that you will stay in touch - that is communicative with your son and stay in communication = close - with his teachers and then you can get some sleep. Just make it one of the things that you plan into your day and week. No one told me that my beloved son would go crazy and get out of hand and be snotty and oh, I don't know what else, it has been a long time now. But I do remember the pain, and wish that someone had warned me - they change.

And, they change not only internally and sexually and that sort of thing, but their peers become so powerful and so important to them. Just be certain that he knows how important he is to you and his Dad, and keep the warm comradely - not fussy and worried - communication going. ....And 'never give up' - that is what Winston Churchill said - in a speech at a College in the United States , I think it was during or after WW11. Anyway, it is still great advice.

This is the time when he will start thinking about what He likes to do, what he is interested in and his own value system. He also will be noticing the value system of his peers - um, hum, Yikes.

Good Luck, C. N.

I went through the same thing when my son started Jr High School. My son is now entering his last year of high school,so I can relate to the emotions you are going through. I actually cried after I dropped him off on his first day of Jr High. All I can offer is to continue to guide him, and pray that he makes good choices. Remind him you love him, make sure his teachers know who you are and know who his new friends are.
Junior high is a totally different ball game now than when we were in school. In my area we only have 2 or 3 junior high schools and the problems they deal with the most are alcohol and sex, especially oral sex.
Good Luck!

My older son started middle school last year and I did freak out a bit. It's normal to be anxious, I think. It's a BIG change from elementary school, and in our case it meant not only going from being in one classroom all the time to several every day, but also joining a student body that was three times the size of what he'd been used to. I was also worried, honestly, because my middle school years sucked, and I didn't want him to have a similar experience. I learned very quickly (like within the first week) that I had nothing to worry about. He did great, and as I saw him thriving my anxiety lessened. Now that we have one year under our belts and he's about to start 7th grade, it's old hat. You'll get there, too! Good luck!

Transitions and milestones are both welcome and scary times. Middle School age is probably the most difficult time for most kids. So, I imagine that you are not alone in your feelings of worry. If only we can stop time or place our children's childhood in a bottle for safe keeping!

As a mom, it will be important for you to set the tone and take care of yourself. Your son may be picking up on your nervous feelings and he may not want to upset you with his own worries or elation about this time in his life. He has the right to feel proud, nervous or indifferent!

Get some sleep - not sleeping will not help your situation! Do you have a friend/family that you can talk to about this?

You are not crazy. This is some weird thing us moms do to ourselves! My only started kindergarten this year and i spent half the summer having panic attacks. Jr. High is just another major milestone in the lives of our babies that signifies that they are growing up and away.... and as much as we would like to protect them from that we have to let them go. My Dad blamed me for every grey hair on his head...... and i think i'm starting to believe him. :) It's ok, mom... mine has survived the first two weeks of kindergarten and your guy will do just fine too. :)

Hi E., what you are feeling is totally normal. I felt the same way when i went "shopping" for a jr. High school for my son. And the same way when i went shopping for a high school. Then even worst when i had to send him there. I'm a young single mom, i felt nervous also because i was really looked at as his mother. They kept treating me like i was an older sister or something but never his mother. I've kinda blended in with the population of kids. And maybe worst this yr.
But your child is taking big steps toward independence and adulthood. And well its sad and scary. All we can do is send them off knowing we taught them well, hope they make the right choices, and know that their parents love them.
Best of luck to you. And like i said its normal. My son started high school the 1st of august. And he is doing good so far.

Best of luck,
P.

E.,

You need to tell more about what your fears are on your son going to Jr. High. Exactly why are you "freaking out"? Every milestone in a child's life is more hectic for the parents then for the child. The child views it as growing older, getting bigger, becoming more independent. You have to watch yourself that you don't try to stifle that growth. But............there is nothing wrong with you worrying about how your child will cope with the new experiences of Jr. High. He will usually have the same friends as they will be going also. He'll also meet new friends. The different curriculum will be challenging and you will feel that you have forgotten so much.

Children are going to grow up whether we want them to or not. They are going to have to experience each change with us cheering them on, giving advice and hoping for the best, and making their own decisions that will be life lessons that we can't stop or learn for them. It is normal for him to be excited and not so normal for you to be tripping so hard. Don't hold on so tight, it may hinder instead of help.

I worried about the type of children other than their friends that they would come in contact with such as gangs, bullies, and such. Talk to his counselor and home room teacher and try to make it to the orientation (if they have one), and the open house night so that you can be assured of the environment he will be in. Drink a cup of chamomille tea and enjoy one down and two to go. :-) R. T

My 11 yr old daughter is also starting jr high this year. I wouldn't say I'm freaking out, but I am very, very nervous for her. She's still very young in her own mind, (i.e., she'd rather go to kindergarten, lol!) so I worry about the big kid school for her. She doesn't seem nervous herself, for which I'm thankful, but I still am! I know she gets terrific grades, so I'm not really concerned about that, just the social bit. I really hope she gets at least a couple classes with friends.
I know this isn't helpful advice from one who has been there, done that, but just wanted you to know you're not alone in being nervous about your child starting jr high this year!

I know how you feel. On Monday my sons starts 9th & 5th. Middle school starts in the 5th, where we live. I am excited for my 9th grader. This is the start of a very exciting time. Also he is mature and very ready. My 5th grader, on the other hand, I am very nervous about. He is a very young 10yrs. I hope all went well for you and your son today.
K.

I went through the same thing. My son said he wasn't nervous. I was more nervous. But I made it through it. It's the factor there growing up. But also all the things that could happen to them and we aren't there. We want to keep them little to a point. But after his first couple of days you'll feel better.
Don't worry its normal.
M.

you feeling sick just means your an awsome mom, you are maybe worried for him, but most of all you dont want your babys growing up so darn fast.