My Older Son

Do mommy son dates. It doesnt have to be expensive, you can go to MacDonalds and share a soda. Take one son one time and the other son the other timne. Try to spend one on one times even if its just 10 minutes with each son everyday.

My oldest has ADHD,obessive compulsive disorder and bipolar....i here this so much...
You love my younger sister and brother more than me,don't you??
Normally more so when he's cycling.But everytime i hear him say that i tell him nope...i love all 3 of my children the same.I think i must repeat that statement about 20-30times in a 20min conversation w/my oldest.About my best advice is just tell him everyday how much you love him and how much he means to you.And when he starts to act up and get jealous of your younger child just talk to him about it,don't yet...
But good luck,i know how thin a child with ADHD can wear a parent(i think i have 2more children that have it or they are just that high spirited of children)

When my children are older, I hope to have a day a month that I can "sneak" off with just one of them. That way they could have a day alone with their mother. No interruptions or distractions. Are you able to do that? Like send him to school one day and hire a baby sitter for the little one and then pick the older one up at school as a surprise?
Even letting your older son have jobs around the house to make him feel important might help.

by making time for just him...

I know its hard with 2 but when you can, spend quality one-on-one time with just him. No matter if the child has ADDHD or not, they love that quality time with their parent(s) even if you are reading a book, taking a walk or doing a chore together, all kids really want is our undivided attention and they all act out if they aren't getting it.

My daughter is 16 and I have a 9 month old and we actually schedule girls night out just for the two of us.

I wish you lots of luck!

Encourage your older son to do one thing that is his only for the baby. It could be judging the temp of the formula you feed the baby or getting the diaper or the right clothes for him. If he feels that something HE does is important to the wellfare of his younger brother then the jealousy will begin to end. Also find one thing that he can do for you that is his alone. Getting the milk out of the fridge or getting your pocketbook when you are leaving the house. Another thing for YOU that is his alone. That will also help.

You should try to give him his own time with you, so when you put your little one down for a nap, perhaps you can then turn your attention to your older son and engage him in an activity that he would like to do. I know this can be hard at times, but experience has taught me that children need to be constantly reassured and shown that they too matter even though you tell them all the time.

you should let him help more around the house and with the baby. sometimes my son tend to do the same thing with my youngest children. when he start acting up you ask him do he want to be the leader for the day and give him some responsiblitys. he would love it and sometimes children cries out for help and we just dont see it.