My New Punishment/rewards System....

That sounds great! Make sure they are aware in advance of what will help them gain time and what will cause them to lose time. I know you can't think of every sceniero in advance, and you can make the crime fit the punishment where needed. You can also give them extra minutes on days that were exceptionally good!

Hope it goes well for you, and them!

I think it's a great idea, as long as video game time doesn't take away from outside play and exercise, (I like that a friend of mine requires her kids to play outside equivalent to video game/TV time,) and I've actually read where the "experts" have advised a discipline/reward system like this.

And, like you say, it seems to be your boys' "currency," something we parents don't always take the time to discover, so if it works with them it's a win-win for you all : )

I think that sounds good!

Just a word of caution:

The only thing I would worry about is that when you restrict something and then make it a reward it makes that thing something they desire even MORE.

We used to make going out for ice cream a reward for good behavior. We don't like to give my daughter a lot of sweets because they make her hyper. So we allow her to have dessert now and then and on "special occasions."

Until she went to a birthday party (by herself) and at the party she ate FOUR cupcakes and many scoops of ice cream because we restrict that at home and we weren't there to tell her "no."

She came home, all sick to her stomach (of course). So we had to educate her as to WHY eating a lot of sweets is bad. We stopped making it a "reward." (It never really was a reward as in "you did good, now you get a candy bar," but we did go out for ice cream as a celebration a lot.) Now she eats sweets now and then because she knows it's not good for you to eat them all the time.

The same with TV. We don't like her to watch a lot of TV because it's not good for you. So we stopped making TV time a reward. Now she doesn't watch a lot of TV because she has a lot of other interesting things to do.

So if you don't like your kids to play a lot of video games because it's not good for them, I wouldn't make it the reward! It's sort of sending the message "you did a good job this week, so now you get to do something that's bad for you for 30 minutes."

I also agree that consequences need to be immediate. My daughter does not work well with consequences that happen in the future. She doesn't change the behavior until the consequence happens--and then she's all crying and upset at that moment (when she can't play with her friend, etc.) Consequences work best when they are immediate so that the child can tie them together better. It also doesn't prolong things. I would hate to wait for the weekend to really reinforce that "since you didn't behave, you only get 20 minutes of video game time." Especially if your child did something bad earlier in the week but was good for the rest of the week. Now you have an upset child waaaaaay after the incident!

Just a suggestion, I'm by no means an expert!

I think that sounds like a fabulous idea! As you get into the flow of your new system, I am sure you will come up with few tweaks that work best for your particular family. I think it sounds like a great start!

Yes. We used a similar system for our son in 5th grade with school grades.
He receive "x" amount of points for bringing home an A (any graded paper,not report card grades). "y" amount for a B. nothing for a C (since that is average). Bringing home a D meant he lost points (the same amount of points as bringing a B earned him), and an F on any paper he lost the same amount of points as an A earned him.
So it looked something like this:
A=30
B=15
C = 0
D = (-15)
F = (-30)

His teacher sent home packets of all his papers stapled together once a week. His "currency" was electronics in general (TV/movies, games, DS, etc), So the points correlated to time. 30 = 30 minutes, etc.

They brought home a STACK of papers, so as long as he made Bs or above, he earned plenty of time to play. If he brought home C's no foul, but he didn't earn any time either. Less than that hurt.
We allowed him to use blocks of time, also. For example: 90 minutes earned could be used as a block of time for a movie. We counted all movies as 90 minutes, b/c they aren't all the same length, and some movies are close to 3 hours, but most are around 100 minutes. Regardless, it made him think if he wanted to watch a movie of ANY kind, because that was a big chunk of his time, if he hadn't made a lot of A's that week.
If he didn't spend all his time, we allowed him to carry it over (like airtime minutes, lol). But we did not threaten to take any of his "saved" time away if he lost more points the next week than he earned. That never happened, but it COULD have. We would've let him keep what he had earned in the previous weeks, if it had.

It worked pretty well.

ETA: I found that for it to work well, and fairly, that you have to delineate exactly what earns points and what removes points. It isn't fair to have a chart if you don't specify what they have to do/not do, exactly. They need to know exactly what is required to earn (or to lose) points.

If you are talking about chores, you need to specify points for getting it done. And points for getting it done after having to be reminded. And points for lost for having to be reminded ___ # of times. Because you are GOING to make them do the chores, regardless, right?

Our house works more like Jo's, but if this works for you then go for it! :)

I'll try to give constructive criticism and ask "What are the behaviors you are wanting to change?" and "Will punishment change the behavior over the long haul?"

The reason I ask is because sometimes children do things that hurt others personally, and the consequence of losing video game time is not going to help them learn that they are damaging their relationships. So, I believe that sometimes you might need a more immediate consequence or a more logical consequence to what they've done. I guess what I'm saying is that if the kids only have their 'punishment' once a week, then you might not be covering all the bases if they are needing more correction.

Also, there may come a point when they 'run out of time' and they just decide that their actions are a 'gimme' because they aren't going to get more time off this week....

You have to be cautious and thoughtful when using sticks and carrots.:) In our home, our son can 'lose' bedtime story minutes for not listening to/actively ignoring us. After we've given the direction twice and he refuses to comply, we start counting at a reasonable pace-- as long as it takes him to follow the direction, each number we count is one minute off bedtime storytime. At this point, he knows we mean business. (By the way, we read a lot , so this isn't detracting from his education, but he does love this time, and it doesn't cut into our snuggling/cuddle time after stories.) However, being rude means he needs to take a time out and he's asked to think about what he could do/say the next time. (Cool down and mend the relationship, learn for next time.) If he doesn't take care of his chores, like setting the table, then he isn't served his plate until he's done his job. (Logical consequence) If he runs off without permission, he has to hold my hand for a while. (Immediate correction and inconvenience on his part.)

Those are only examples. I'm suggesting that you (and husband) are really sure about which behaviors are being addressed and corrected, and be on the same page about how each behavior is corrected. Bickering in the car, after being asked to stop? You might pull the car over until they are quiet, and then take away a ten-minute chunk, because what they are doing is in fact distracting and dangerous. Just be aware of when in the course of things you are relying on this punishment and why. Overall, though, limiting video time is never a bad thing! And offering a chance to 'earn' time is nice too, just be sure it's really earned for above-and-beyond like noticing kindness between brothers and taking initiative to help: doing routine chores and minding the rules is expected; one should not earn points with that.

I'm not sure how this will teach them the real reason we do and do not do things. For example - they shouldn't hit because hitting is wrong and because they can hurt people. When they learn this, they won't hit only when you might see them and take away video time. They won't hit even when they won't get caught. They should set and clear the dinner table because they are part of a team (the family) and people in a family help each other because it is right and because it makes us and the family feel good. Not because they could use a few extra video game minutes next weekend. It seems that rewards and punishments are a way for children to avoid developing INTERNAL motivation, which is the reason we really care about their behaviors.

Hi, Mom:
You are so great to teach your children self-discipline. We have public and private duties as American citizens. Several are: The duty of children to honor and obey their parents and elders; the duty to support law and order and keep the peace; the duty to maintain the integrity of the family structure, and the duty not to promote or participate in the vices which destroy personal and community life.

You are doing your duty as the Mother of not only your young, but also a role model for other young Mothers. You are teaching your children self-discipline and/or restraint. Many of our Mothers of day let their children do whatever they want and have no consideration of how their children affect others. There are many mothers who allow their children to disrespect everyone and do not teach their children about common decency.
Thanks for caring about your children and your values as a Citizen of our Country.

Sounds like a good idea to me.