My Mother-in-law and Her Boyfriend Throw Away My Stuff

What stuff? The answer to "What stuff?" is what most of us really need to be able to give you an answer that makes sense. Otherwise, we're just guessing as to what you really mean...

Can you give us more info? Do they live with you? What are they throwing away exactly...we need details.

"Mother-in-law, please stop throwing away my stuff every time you visit."

Assuming that you've already asked them to stop, let your husband know that his mom and her boyfriend are no longer welcome in your home. Problem solved.

so what do you do when they're cleaning YOUR kitchen and throwing away your stuff?
if you sit there fuming with your hands folded and your mouth shut, there's your problem.
i find it hard to believe that a) they just show up and clean your kitchen. i mean, is it gross? and b) that anyone would throw your stuff away if you're there saying 'hey! leave those potholders alone!'
i mean, if they're sneaking behind your back to clean your kitchen and throw away your stuff you a) say thank you and b) i appreciate the help but stop throwing away my stuff.
this ain't rocket science.
khairete
S.

Stop inviting them over.

What are they throwing away????? Are you a hoarder and they are throwing away 3 week old pizza boxes or are they throwing away your toaster and silverware?? Need a lot more info.....

Don't let them visit or have them stay in a hotel when they come to town and meet them for lunch/dinner.
You can also go visit them instead of them coming to your house.

Not much info to go on here. Are you married? Are they visiting you in your home? Are you living with them?

If they clean the kitchen, maybe it needs it. Do you regularly keep your home clean, kitchen free of dirty dishes, trash, clean countertops, swept floor?

Do you give then reason to clean when they come over? Do you have children? Maybe they are concerned for children living in a grimy home. Are you a teen and not cleaning up after yourself?

If you keep things in order yourself, there would be no need for someone to come in and clean.

Clean your own kitchen before they get there? How much junk do you have laying around that they feel they have to clean up after you and throw things out?

If anyone through away the stuff on my kitchen counters I would be without a toaster oven, keurig and my fruit dish.😊 (I hate clutter)

I guess either you can ask them not to clean your kitchen (assuming it is your kitchen), don't invite them over or clean your kitchen before they get to your house.

If on the other hand it is their kitchen and you leave your stuff out On their counters...I totally get why they trash your stuff. In that case...stop leaving your stuff out.

More info please ... impossible to relate if you don't tell us the circumstances under which this happens.

My MIL stayed to look after our kids when we went away for a weekend. She skyped me to tell me she'd cleaned my fridge. Not an update on the kids - just to tell me she's cleaned my fridge. At first I was like really? It was clean. But she was bored. Not used to watching kids for a weekend, she needed something to do. So she biffed the food, she cleaned it, and she felt she was being helpful.

So what's the intent of your MIL? Is she trying to be helpful? Maybe she is. No way to know here as there's no info.

So just ask her to stop. How else will she stop? The other option is she doesn't come over. Or you could use your words and tell her to please stop. A No or Please Don't does not have to be rude or mean. Saying it rudely will be rude. So say it politely.

Good luck :)

Well, there is so little info here, it's hard to give helpful suggestions! Things that might be good for you to add are details on their visits, who invites them, how long they stay, are they cleaning the kitchen while you are home or not home, what kinds of "stuff" they are throwing, what you have already tried/said, and what your husband has already tried/said. Can you edit your question or put something in the So What Happened section to give us some sort of clue?

I have mixed feelings about this. I have this friend that is very dear to me. VERY dear to me. Love her to death. I helped her move recently and I realized so many things. She kept her trash and moved it with her. Granted, there was a huge dumpster outside her door at her new place. BUT she went through her trash to see if anything was thrown away that she wanted to keep. She wouldn't even let them throw away empty fast food sacks. There might be something in it that she wants to keep.

She is poor so if she needs salt or something then she might really need to keep those small items in the sacks but still, to move your trash with you?

So I am going to say this. IF you have too much stuff, in their opinion, then you might consider that you need to get rid of things on your own. Pick a box. Go through it. Toss everything you can't wear or haven't worn in a couple of years.

If they are just throwing away your things and your home is neat and tidy and clean then let them know that throwing away your things is not making you happy and that in the future you'll be letting them visit at a local restaurant or they can stay in a hotel when they come to see you.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

What stuff do they throw away?? Rotting food?? If guests feel compelled to clean YOUR kitchen?? It means it's REALLY FARKING DIRTY and they don't want to get sick if they prepare food in it...

How can you stop them from doing it?? CLEAN YOUR KITCHEN!!!

I'm all over the fence with this one.For our information can you let us know if it's an accident, if they are coming over on purpose to clean your home? Are you usually very clean? Or are you like my husband -he saves things and insists on it, so that even I don't throw it out because he just knows he will bring it to lunch Thursday (and doesn't). The item waits for it's own beard to grow.
On the other hand, whenever my son and his wife come (they live in another state so it's not often) they clean something. Now my son was a slob with hoarder like tendencies particularly after he got out of the military.Must have been some reaction to order ...anyway, his wife must have influenced him so they clean something here.One time however,they dismantled our set up with our thousands of large spoons, garlic press, blenders, etc. in containers that were ready to be used and very handy and they threw things out and thought they would change the whole thing. NOT HELPFUL.
And when I was very, very ill a few years back,my family got a cleaning service for me and EGADS I COULDN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THIS ...they threw out MY BATHTUB water STOPPER. AHHHHH. And all I dreamed about in the hospital was sitting and soaking in my nice hot bathtub so I would be stress free. And I never wanted another person to clean my home again.
SOOO, as far as you go, you can do a couple of things. Meet them for coffee at a restaurant and leave them out of your house. -or ignore it. -or feel grateful or put locks on your cabinets.
OH MY GOSH I HAD TO GO BUY ANOTHER BATHTUB STOPPER...There, thank you. I needed that.Good luck.

LOL...I am laughing with you and NOT at you. since you're not specific in your definition of "stuff" it's hard for me to respond but I can tell you that my SIL used to do the exact same thing. Kitchen and laundry room invasions. Given my approach to in-laws, which I'll redefine for the sake of expediency...he handles his people and I handle mine...I had a conversation with my brother and asked him to manage his wife. She was offended that I didn't speak to her directly about it but history has taught me that those conversations never end well and never solve the problem. Upset with me or not, she usually comes up with some reason to be so, my brother spoke with her and she hasn't done it since then.

good luck..........the in-law waters are treacherous indeed!!! :-) S.

If they only throw away stuff when they clean at your house then don't let them clean at your house, assure them you appreciate the effort but they are your guests and you would never dream of letting them clean your home.

If they just throw away stuff at random then I would have a serious talk with them about boundaries. Make sure your husband is on board and does most of the talking, it is his mother after all.

I noticed some said to stop letting her come over but it is important to remember that your husband loves his mother just as much as you love your own. We should always remember to treat our in-laws the same way we would want our own parents treated. I know I would not want my husband to tell me I was no longer allowed to invite my own mother to my home to visit.