My Little One HATES the Car Seat!

I am the grandmother to a lovely,happy 1 year old grandson. When he was an infant he used to scream and holler every time he was put in the car seat. His parents were at their wits end. I traveled with them on one occasion, witnessed the baby's discomfort. You see, I used to get car sick all the time in my youth. I told them this. The next thing I knew his formula was changed, and he's been a happy traveler every since.

I've been there. My first son screamed from the second we put him in that thing in the hospital. Ugh. I felt trapped because it was so stressful going anywhere. One thing that helped was a cd called either "Crying out loud" or "For crying out loud". It was a white noise cd. As soon as we would put it on VERY LOUD he would instantly quiet down. Eventually he would fall asleep and we could back off the volume just a little bit. If you are both in the car another thing that helped was putting his pacifier in - and then kind of cupping my hand around the pacifer and up the side of his face. Eventually I replace the cup of my hand with a "buddy", which to this day he still loves. I think that cd is available on Amazon. Try it - it really works. Good luck.

My child was and still is the same way. First of all make sure the car seat is not hurting her in any way (sometimes the extras one can put in the car seat can make them uncomfortable) also make sure the straps are only tight enough for 2 fingers to fit through. CHances are it is nothing like that and your child just hates being confined away from you. I would always try to make sure I took longer drives when it was time for her to sleep. I would never get in the car and go somewhere if she just woke up. Also if she was screaming and i was stuck in traffic I found that calling someone and talking on the phone helped me not drive off a bridge! Now that she is older it is a little better as she can do some stuff in the car now. Good luck and stay sane!

When my daughter was little she HATED the car seat too. When shewas younger, we really didn't know what to do. As soon as she got to where she could communitcate (prior to talking) she let us know that the seat or her clothes had lumps or wrikles which bothered her. (we called her the princess and the pea) Later she would only calm down if her shoes and socks were off and I had one hand touching her face. She wanted me either patting her cheek or she'd pull my hand to completely cover her face. The sun would completely throw her over the edge as well, even with the tinted windows and sun shades. I would look at making sure her clothes aren't bunchy or tight, making sure she's not too tight as others have said, and maybe talk to your doctor about it. With my daughter we found out (just this year and she's 6) that she has sensory issues where things that wouldn't normally bother someone, tags on clothes, tight clothes, denim, elastic, etc really feels painful to her. We never connected it until she started school, but the signs were there from the beginning. She's was our first and we didn't know that most kids didn't act out the way she did/does. Good luck! There are a lot of us that have been there.

Maybe the car seat does not fit her size or the angle you have the sit positioned in needs to be changed. She will be in a car seat/booster seat for a long time so she has to have a seat that she likes. One thing to consider is if it is cushy enough. Some car seat can be to hard but I still say it might be the angle you have the seat positioned at.

This might sound totally silly and I am sure you probably explored this option.....My son was exactly like this with his car seat until I realized I was suppossed to adjust the straps in the back of the car seat. I never knew I had to move them up so they were pulling a little too much on his shoulders. I am embarrassed to write this but hey, I am a first time mom and I just didnt know!

Good luck to you!
B.

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Something about those girls. My daughter never wanted to miss the action. she hated to be held laying on our shoulder because she was facing opposite everyone. She did not like rear facing car seats. See if you can find an infant seat that faces forward. That may help. If not, find a cloth picture book or pillow that you could attach to the seat for her to look at...maybe she feels walled in. Finally, use a favorite blanket to wrap her in. Attach a crinkle toy to the side so she can find it. Good luck, driving with the crying can be very nerve wracking.

Hi,

Go to Target, Walmart, Babies R us, and they have a toy to go over the carrier handle. Some of them play music (get this one it is a life saver)and some of them don't. But it will entertain them as well as help development. Also, I played alot of classical music in my kids room to get them use to music, try playing it in the car as well. I hope this was helpful to you.

E.,

My daughter also hated her car seat as a newborn. I would only take short car trips alone with her. I think it's fine to give her a bottle in the car - spit up at this age is normal (and not necessarily a reaction to the car). We found that rolling down the windows, which provides some white noise and fresh air, was somewhat helpful. Also, I'd keep a lullabye CD in the the CD player and start playing it when my daughter would fuss. If nothing else, having some music helped my sanity when driving!

Also, these probably go without saying, but make sure her diaper is clean before leaving (and that she's been fed), and also that the straps aren't too tight.

She will get past this very trying stage, so do your best to hang in there.

R.

Hi, its been great reading the posts because I'm going through the same thing right now with my 3 month old! and I know its not the car seat itself cause she's fine in it for walks etc. its just the car, if she's not asleep then she's screaming (so I've been trying to make sure and feed her before we go so she falls asleep which has been working some). Maybe she is car sick? I've also heard of a Mom putting one of their shirts in the car seat so the baby has their smell close by, didn't work for us but may for you :) Good luck!

I wonder if your daughter gets motion sickness. Is this a problem in the stroller? I always wondered why my daughter didn't like the burly and long car trips as a baby. It seemed like everyone else's kid just drifted off in the car seat. Now that she is 13 I know that she gets terrible motion sickness. I don't know what to do for a baby with this problem but you could talk to your doctor for some ideas. Good luck!

E., there are a couple of things you can try:
put the car seat in your home and put your little one it for a few minutes and then take her out, the next time try a little longer and then the next even longer. Hopefully, she will get the idea of going in the car seat is a good thing. AN adventure of sorts. Make the car seat a fun place.
Little one's pick up on your anxiety. Try to be relaxed when you are putting her in it - no big deal just putting the baby in the car seat kind of attitude. She obviously has some anxiety about it. Mirrors help in the car so she can see you and you can see her. (be careful though, try not to get to distracted by her because after all you are driving a car). I hope this helps.

Sometimes mine son just wants me to hold his hand. If he's hungry we'll bring a snack. It is always easier to fall asleep if you are not hungry. If it is the car seat. You can always get a transitional car seat. Maybe she'll like it better. You're going to need one next month anyway. Good luck.

You have been very inventive with trying different solutions and I'm sure your letter will get more ideas. Mine is the most serious, which is that she might be very sensitive to tactile feelings. Does she cry like this at other times, does she show a real preference to soft or no clothes on? If yes you might want to explore this possibility.
On the other hand, take her shopping and put her in various car seats and see if there is one that she is more comfortable in, or try her out on friends' carseats of different brands. Then, if you find one, buy it and save the one you have now for baby #2, who could be born within the year (just joking).
Is it the angle at which the seat puts her? could she have some internal anomolie that causes her great discomfort? Does she experience car sickness? Ask your Dr. about these.
Does she just hate being limited in her movements? Swaddle her and see if you get a similar reaction.

My fiesty little girl didn't either, she hated to be on her back. Unfortunately, she never grew out of it, she would be ok when she was a tad older, but when we turned her around after her first b-day, she finally stopped. I hear and feel your pain. We couldn't even talk a walk in the stoller.

Good Luck!
J. W. MPH

Oh man, I remember rocking the car with my daughter. The right music or noise can make a difference. A rattle-y type soft toy may help but some infant seats don't let you have the handles up while driving - I am pretty sure evenflo, baby trend and peg perego do NOT allow the handle to be up - so know your seat before hanging anything off it. Plus there are some hard toys out there that could cause a pretty serious owie if they were to fly loose in an accident. Definitely ignore the advice about a forward facing infant seat. Besides being illegal, it is extremely dangerous. The AAP recommends rear facing as long as possible and the 1 year and 20lb mark is just the bare minimum. I think it would definitely be worth your while to take a drive to a carseat check and have a professional make sure everything is how it should be and that there is nothing wrong there that is bothering her. Make sure it is a real Child Passenger Safety Technician checking it. A lot of firefighter and police take a brief course in child safety and some know a lot but I have heard of others who have been told some not so accurate things. CPSTs have to take at least a 40hour training so they are more knowledgeable. Here is a list of events coming up in IL http://www.safekidsweb.org/events/events.asp?status=1&amp.... Good luck!

Check to make sure nothing is poking or hurting the baby when you put her in. If nothing would do that, make sure it's not too hot in it for her. If she's too hot, she'll be very uncomfortable in the seat. Babies becoming warm when uncomfortable can be dangerous, so make sure she's staying cool in the seat. This is all I can really think of.

I'm so sorry...both of our children were like that; and it seemed everywhere we turned people said, "Really? My dd/ds loves the car!" It can be very stressful.

One thing that helped us this time around (similar to the CD suggestion)was turning on static -- loudly! We had to catch him right as he got upset, so it helped to know exactly what 'station' to use, so we weren't flipping channels as we drove. And, truely, we couldn't believe how loud it had to be, but when it worked, he'd calm down right away and then we could eventually turn it down. The static can be stressful also, but it's always hard to know your baby is unhappy.

Our littlest is now 10 months old and is very excited to get in the car!! It does pass. Hang in there!

Hi E.,

My youngest had the same issue in the car seat. He tried for 4 1/2 hours on a trip home from my parents. It was the infant type of car seat no matter if it was in the car or not. He hated sitting in it on the grocery cart. I tried switching him to a britax seat that was from 5 lbs. up to 40 lbs. and could be installed rear facing. Not sure what made the difference but it ended the crying. It was more difficult to keep his head upright when he slept but he was sleeping and not crying. The differnce in the material type might have been part of it. The infant seat made his head sweat like crazy. Just another thought to try. Good luck!

Hey E.,
Oh your poor sweet little one!
My son is 4 and had a really hard time with the carseat at first. I found out later that he has sensory integration issues. This just means that he is very sensitive and can get overstimulated by sights, sounds, tastes and textures. Check and see maybe if your daughter doesn't have a tag or something irritating her skin. Ben can get wild over his sock not lining up correctly. I hope that helps. Hang in there!
blessings,
J.

E.,

So sorry to hear that you have to go though this. First, and I really feel like I need to say this, never, never face your baby forward until they reach the limits of their
carseat. Okay, done. I read the other post and you should
check the straps of the carseat and make sure they are position correctly. If there is a free carseat saftey check, you might want to try that too. Sometimes just a slight adjustment to the car seat can make a happier rider. The CD's are a great idea, might want to check some out from the library first so you can find the right one. The toys for the carseat handles are another great idea, see if you can find one that you can change the toys on. I got the Baby Einstein Lights & Melodies Mirror and put it in the car. You can see your baby and the baby can see you. I commuted with my baby and the only CD that worked for him was the rockabye lullabies. They are really sweet too. Just songs that you will know, by groups that you know. http://rockabyebabymusic.com/

Good luck,

K.