My Kids Will Share Room for the First Time

Updated on April 14, 2008
V.B. asks from Los Angeles, CA
9 answers

We are moving in two weeks and my kids- Isabella ( 2 yo) and Eugene ( 4 yo) will be sharing a room for the first time. I am concerned about sleep as she wakes up early and has hard time going to sleep in a new environment.
Any advice on moving, sharing room would be most appreciated

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So What Happened?

It was great getting all your feedback - we moved in without a hitch and the kids each had all their things a bit of each ones previous room and they both slept through the night from day 1. It also seems to have helped their relationship. Thank you all for your feedback.

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T.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

give them a time to say goodbye to their old room,even their toys and pillows and everything else...say goodbye to the old room , then when you move or even before, bring all those things above(if possible) say hello to their new room.Let them feel that it is a group effort(esp. the 2 of them) doing a group project(goal is togetherness).As Winnie the Pooh says,It's always good to eat/play when there's a friend or sister with you... good luck and have fun! My girls were 5 ans 3 y/o when we moved and they loved the process ,to the point that even Mom and Dad joined them in saying goodbye to every nook and corner that the kids thought of saying bye to.

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A.H.

answers from San Diego on

I think that sharing a room with her brother might help with the stress of moving because she won't be alone. As far as sharing a room is concerned, I think that the kids are young enough that it won't be too much of an adjustment.

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D.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi V., I don't have advice for room sharing, but just went through a crazy move with my 6 year old and now 10 month old. What helped my 6 year old was us showing her everything in advance: the house, her room, the school, the town and everything. I also immediately enrolled her in a gymnastics class, so she'd start to feel part of something immediately that she loved and began making friends. The coaches were very good about making her feel special and welcomed. I set up her room as close to possible as her old room and kept pictures of her old house and all of her friends up on her walls/scrapbooks for the first month or so. Many of her friends came to visit and told her how great her new house was even though it was far for them to do so (more than a day trip). I had to be super patient which was hard with a newborn. I constantly told her about the pros of our new home and it did take a couple months for her to settle down and settle in -- it got worse first, but it did get better. It just takes time. It would seem to me that it would be comforting for her to have her sibling in her room so she can feel safe and secure and based how you think that will make her feel, I'd emphasize that as a great positive. This I know for sure, kids follow our leads, so if you can be a fabulous actress for a little while, I bet she'll settle in and all will be well. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions and good luck to you!

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F.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

We are moving soon and just put our children in the same room so that they can adjust. I had the same concerns about the younger (14 mo.) waking the older (2.5 years), but it actually worked out great. They now fall asleep faster and sleep longer in the mornings. They keep each other company when they wake up as well. Just the other day I went to the room to check on them and I found my son (the older) holding my daughter's hand through the crib bars as she fell asleep. It was as though he was comforting her as she sleep, too cute. Anyway, I say just put them together, they will be just fine. They will keep each other company.

F.
Mother of Leilah 14mo and Bryant 2.5 years

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I have 3 yo and 21 mo boys. We have moved 4 times since the oldest was born. They have shared a room since the second was a newborn and the oldest was only 19 months old so both of them hardly know any different. They go to bed at the same time and I get them up at the same time. It usually takes my oldest longer to go to sleep and he wakes up earlier than his little brother, too, but it doesn't seem to bother his brother. He typically talks or sings to his "snuggle friends" in his bed. Even if one of them has trouble during the night and cries loudly, it doesn't usually wake the other. They seem to have a special "radar" for one another (I could walk in the room and make the tiniest sound and it would wake both of them up, but they don't wake each other with the loudest cries). I think kids just get used to each other if they are sharing rooms and the familiar sounds of the other don't bother them. As for moving, it's always upsetting, but I try to do a few things to help. My 3 year old doesn't seem to have trouble with the moving anymore though he did when he was younger (we've moved twice in the past year and he didn't mind either). The baby still has a hard time. I try to set up their room as closely as possible to the way it was in the previous house, as far as the arrangement of furniture. I make sure they have all of their familiar comfort items in bed (blankets, pillow and stuffed animals) and I try to allow them to have some time in the new environment to play and get adjusted before bedtime. Even with all of these things, my youngest still cries for the first couple of days when I leave him to sleep, but only for about 30 seconds (although sometimes he gives me that little protest even when he is completely familiar with our home). Each time we have moved, I get completely anxious about them adjusting to the new environment, but they always adjust within a few days.

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E.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi V.- I am just going thru the sharing room new house moving this week and my husband feels very strongly about the bond between siblings with the same bedroom when they are young - SO I asked the same question on mamasouce with great answers so here is my great answer - they are GREAT together I have 2 boys 5 and 3 and the other night we went to brush teeth and read a story and sometimes my 3 yr old gets up and comes back down stairs but the other night I heard him talking and carrying on a bit and was waiting for him to come down the stairs and NEVER DID- so when I went up to bed I opened the door only to find my little guy in my big guys bed!! THE SWEETEST thing ever all cozy together it was the best and now in the AM they stay in there room together looking at books before they come get me up so its a great experience so far i say no worries it will be great I am sure!

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

You have a unique opportunity as you move to point out all of the new, awesome, fun things about your new surroundings. If you are excited about it, your kids will be too. Your kids will mirror your enthusiasm (or despair) so make sure you act appropriately. Get their room ready FIRST - make sure they can see that it is a priority and try to add something really cool. I had my older daughter decide how we should decorate her room when we had the baby move in with her. She chose to paint the walls blue with pink flowers with red centers and purple polkadots. It sounds ghastly, but actually, after we painted it, it looked cute and she was excited to have her baby move in to their "new room"

There will be some issues with the new sleep arrangements, so you will need to decide how to handle them in advance. Safety is key, so be sure to gate off any new staircases at night so we don't have nocturnal tumbles. When Isabella comes into your room at 2am, have a mental plan of what to do (bring her back to her room, stay with her on her floor till she sleeps, put on the music, whatever) and then talk about it the next morning and tell the kids what is appropriate behavior. They will be confused at first when they wake up and will be seeking comfort, so don't scold them, but guide them to the appropriate behavior and listen to their fears. Maybe there are strange sounds that can be fixed with white noise, or strange shadows that can be fixed with night lights.

Good luck with your move

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P.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just try to make the room familiar to them,then put on a routine bath,reading,prayers. Then if the little one does't want to sleep rock her to sleep. If that doesn't work warm milk and a really good story of your youth, it is amazing how sleepy that makes them and they learn all about you or grandparents. You will work it out it will take a little time.

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A.Y.

answers from San Diego on

Moving is always tough for children. They will miss their old environment and have to adjust to the new, so maybe it is a good thing to have both child in the same room for companionship.

Last year, we moved to a new house, my daughter did not like a bit of moving away from all her friends, neighbors and especially her school. So we let her help paint the house, clean up, tell us what she thinks about the arrangements, and we celebrate the arrival of our new home ane prayed and gave our house a name.

As for your child sharing a room, I just think that it is very important that you define what is personal items and what can be shared.

I grew up, sharing a room with two of my sisters. We all had our own bed and desk and lamps and chest. It was helpful when my parents distinguish what is personal and what is for sharing.

Also, I find that sticking rules on the wall is very helpful.

The good thing about sharing room is that children will learn to respect each other.

And if you don't mind, you can let them choose their own wall, where they can put up their paintings or drawings on.
Since, it will be their room, they should have a say to how they want things to be, but of course you will need to guide them.

Good luck.

A.

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