My Kids Might Have Broken Their Friends Lego Set That Took Her Weeks to Build

This is not "irreplaceable". It's like a jigsaw puzzle. Just has to be put back together.

Say: "Oh wow, I had no idea! Would you like for my children to come over and help her put it back together?"

I'm sure this girl treasures the memory of doing an activity with her dad but your children did not "break" that memory!

S.

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What do you mean "BROKE"?? It's pretty hard to break LEGOs. Did the take the set apart? Did it fall over? What?

If your kids admit to playing with it and taking apart? They need to go back over and help put it back together. That's what I would do. If my kids broke it? They need to help fix it.

Here's the thing.

If they didn't want kids to play with it (it's like anything special, the rule is - and you must have similar thing in your home) they could put it out of sight.

We have Lego sets our son has built that are very special to him - the huge Harry Potter ones, etc. He has them displayed on shelves in his room. He used to actually not have certain friends over because he knew they'd be rough with them. Or they just don't go to his room. That's fine.

I'm not saying your kids were rough, but if the Lego was brought out to be played with, then your kids may just have been 'playing' with it (not roughly) and a few pieces might have come off. All it takes is a few to break off, and it's hard to fix those darn sets.

Anyhow, we've had kids (almost all) come to our home and rip heads off Barbies, Monster High dolls, break dollhouse pieces, furniture, you name it. I've had pool toys get destroyed .. it happens. Kids are kids.

Honestly, I think that sucks she texted you. A call might have been better. It's awkward. I've never once reached out to a parent anytime something was broken. The most I've ever done when my child came to me to let me know a toy was broken (what I've asked them to do) is say "now girls, what happened" and the kids tell me and I just say "Ok, let's just play a little bit more carefully" or I'll say "How bout I put these away for now and let's take these out" or "snack time" or something.

I never make anyone feel bad, because honestly, it's my mistake for leaving a special toy out (with the kid) if I don't know if a kid is going to treat it with care. If it's that special, we put it out of sight until later.

Just apologize if your kids actually broke it, and that's that. It happens. What are you going to do? Offer to do it all over? I mean, I suppose you could, but to me, that seems really extreme. I personally, would not. I would just say - they are sorry, and didn't intend to break it or the girls could.

*if they don't have the instructions - you can download online these days

So, my kids have built a lot of Lego sets over the years, some that cost hundreds of dollars and had over a thousand pieces. They know that if they left them in reach, they could be bumped, knocked over, etc. If they wanted a finished piece to stay intact, it went on a very high shelf out of the reach of siblings, friends, etc. Lego sets come apart. That's just the nature of them. When they come apart, you either put them back together or create something new. It can be upsetting the first time it happens, but you live and learn and move on. It's not irreplaceable, and they can build it again (and store it more carefully) if wanted.

If I were you, I'd ask my kids what happened. If it sounds like one of them did something mean or deliberate, then they should apologize. If it was an accident or the kids all together decided to take it apart and play with the parts, then that's really no big deal. These things happen.

You go back over to the house with your kids, you sort it out and put it back together.

Don't force your kids to apologize, then it's not real. But they MUST help put back together what they took apart.

I would ask more information from my kids so I know what happened and HOW it happened. My kids were HUGE LEGO fans and I know they took MANY sets apart and put them back together. I wonder what the conversation was that led to the destruction of the set.

I hope the pieces were NOT broken! It's REALLY hard to break a LEGO but some of the pieces like flags and helmets can break easily.

Well, wait. It's a lego set. It's not irreplaceable. It will take some time because she'll have to put it back together again. But legos are made to go together, take apart, and put together again. I would apologize and have the kids write a note apologizing for the accident (I assume that's what it was, you should ask), let this go and hope the other mom is mature enough to do the same.

ETA: I like others' ideas of offering to have your kids remake the lego structure in addition to apologizing.

This is a familiar area for me! I have a 13 year old that has a room full that he has made and he is very protective of them. 7 year olds don’t quite understand as much as a older child that it can be fixed as it’s legos so a thought would be to find out what happened from your children, then have your children each write a formal apology to the other child. A verbal apology can come to easy, a written one makes the kids take time, energy and thought of what they are going to say and gives them more time to think about what they did wrong. I would ask your friend if they still have the book that goes with the LEGO set, if not - order the book and attach that to the kids apology letter. In their letters, have them tell the other child that they would enjoy helping them put it back together. Most likely the other child isn’t upset about who he/she put it together with, but is more hurt that it’s broken and won’t be able to get it back together especially if the book to it has been thrown away

Talk to the kids and try to find out what happened.
Kids might need to make an apology.
There's nothing you or your kids can do about fixing it.
It can be rebuilt but the 7 yr old and her dad will have to do that so it's not irreplaceable unless Dad doesn't want to work on it again.
That's the thing about Legos is a lot of the playing comes from building it and not so much after it is built.
But then most people don't build them and leave them built forever.

They are legos, not something hand crafted. I am surprised she is making such a fuss about it, when my son's friends have accidentally broken some of his lego builds they have just rebuilt them together, no big deal. Maybe have the kids offer to help with the rebuild.

Broke? It's pretty hard to break legos, I think you mean they took it apart. If yes then it can be put back together.
Maybe offer to have your kids come over and help the 7 year old reassemble it? If they don't have the original instructions maybe you can find it online and download.

First world problems.....(shaking head). Okay, I understand that children become attached to their toys, but they do need to learn about disappointment and re-doing things in life. And your children can also use this a learning experience.

I doubt that the Legos are "broken." Rather, the build project was likely disassembled, which can be rebuilt. If there is some greater significance to this build (e.g. this was last thing child and father did before he passed away), then it should have been put up where it could not be reached.

Discuss with your kids and let them know that you are not angry, but you just want to know what happened. Ask them what they think they should do to make it better - it is always good to get the kids to help identify the "crime and punishment." There may be more to the story than either of you Moms know.

Then you should present the outcome of your discussion with the other Mom and offer your apologies as well. Offer the resolution that you and your kids have identified. I know you don't want to lose this friendship, but I have to ask what kind of friendship it is, if she would end it over a Lego deconstruct.

You go over with the kids and you sit with them and the three of you follow the directions and put it back together.If it takes going over multiple times you have to do that. You also have them write an apology letter. That is what I would do! :) My kids know the pain of a large lego structure being all broken up from moving and then having to spend hours putting it all back together again. Sometimes it takes a few days. After doing this with your two kids they will know from now on and certainly won't do that again!

I'd text back and ask if she wants your kids to go over and assist at putting it back together. Seriously its not like its a priceless heirloom just an overpriced toy set.

why do you say 'might'? do you think a very good family friend would lie about this?

lego doesn't break easily. did your kids actually break the blocks, or just break the structure their friend had built?

if the latter, can they offer to go over there and help her rebuild it? if the friend doesn't want their help, is there some other task they could do on her behalf to atone?

if they actually broke the set, ie it's not fixable, then of course you should replace it.

khairete
S.