My Kid Won't Sleep!! - Anaheim,CA

Updated on December 04, 2007
J.B. asks from Anaheim, CA
12 answers

My 17 month old abruptly stopped sleeping two weeks ago. I sleep trained him at 9 months, and since then he had been an amazing sleeper . . . we have a set routine for naps and bedtime, and he is put down awake. He went to sleep on his own and slept 10-12 hours straight at night and between 2-3 hours for naps. Then all of a sudden . . . this. We haven't changed ANYTHING . . . he just suddenly decided he doesn't want to sleep. Twice he has actually screamed and cried and fought sleeping for 5 hours at night. We have tried everything . . . we went in every few minutes and laid him back down and reassured just like when we sleep trained him . . . tylenol just in case he was teething . . . he has always had a nightlight and music . . . we even got desperate and tried all the tactics I swore I would never use!! We rubbed his back till he fell asleep (didn't work out), drove him till he crashed then laid him in his crib (also not a success), I even laid down with him in his room!! That worked for a few hours, then hysteria when I tried to move him. Even when we can get him to sleep at night, he still wakes up at the same time in the morning, and as he often these days fights us till 2-3 am, that's just not enough. I took him to the pediatrician just to rule out anything medical, and nothing's wrong (he's not even teething). For 3 nights he went back to sleeping straight through, then last night he battled again. He hasn't taken a nap in 2 weeks. I have taken to putting him in his crib at naptime everyday and he stays there for 2 hours. I go get him when his time is up and tell him naptime is over. I of course check on him when warranted during this time, but his Dr. seemed to think that at least that way, he'd be back on some kind of routine and maybe that would help.

I EVEN TRIED BENADRYL (with the pediatrician's ok)!! That just made him groggy while he screamed for 5 hours.

Please, somebody help!!!

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H.G.

answers from Sacramento on

Is it possible that the little one is getting his 2nd year molars? If so they are HORRIBLE. They kept my kiddo from sleeping like normal for a good 2 months. It was worse then any of his previous teething (by far). You may not be able to see them right away....I thought maybe I was just losing my mind (after a little sleep deprivation). All I can say is if that's it (that's what age my Josh was when his started) just hang in there.

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G.D.

answers from Modesto on

STOP the TYLENOL...it is bad for him!!! it will make things worse!!! You are better of with motrim...

Tylenol depletes you child from Glutathione!!! That is part of the mechanism of detoxifying from pestices, heavy metals and viruses!!! It is produced by the liver!!!

But you might want to have the doctor check his ears...he could have an infection...that is comon that they hurt more when laying down...

Have you given him a Hepatitis vaccine lately?
...that one causes problems sleeping!!! Check skin color (yellow) jaundice!!! And I would suggest you see a homeopath... Love, G.. :0)

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just went through this and I used benedryl for 4 nights to get back into a routine. the first night it didnt work but the next 3 it did and then night 5 she slept through the night with no problem. maybe give it another go. We went 3 long weeks with this! My heart goes out to you. I was about to go crazy!!!

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear J. -

I can totally relate to what you're going through! I am the mother of 4 wonderful children, ages 13 - 3, and each one of them is very different in many ways. Our first three were all wonderful sleepers (and eaters) sleeping through the night at 4 weeks and taking great naps during the day - no prob! Then came our fourth - we nicknamed him "the non-sleeping child". I, too, am very big on routine with children, particularly relative to eating and sleeping, but NOTHING mattered with our son. So, I don't really have any great and magical solution for you - only encouragement. If the doctor says there is nothing medically wrong with him and he's not teething (this month) then all you can do is follow your own mommy instincts. Some children actually start something called "night terror" as young as your son where they have some sort of scary dreams and they wake up screaming and unable to return to sleep. Since they're still so small it's really impossible to know since they can't verbalize or describe it. After 3 kids, many times our goal at night is just "whatever it takes" to get some peace and quiet so everyone else could go to sleep! For me, that meant being the one to hold him, sleep on the couch with him, get up and get some milk - my husband would always do this, too, when I asked him but for the most part I tried to let him sleep. Also, if he did fall asleep and wake up he would scream for HOURS so, unlike your doctor, I am not skeptical at all - it is absolutely possible! Our son is 3 and a half now and has just RECENTLY started sleeping through the night consistently. So, hang in there and hopefully it's just a short phase he's going through. If not, be encouraged that it will get better and you will all survive! Just continue a steady routine as much as possible and give him lots & lots of love!

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C.B.

answers from Honolulu on

wow, it sounds like you have tried everything! I'm just wondering if there might have been anything that he experienced around the time he started this that could have been upsetting to him. It might not even be something that sounds like it would be upsetting (to you) but could have frightened him or made him feel unsafe in some way. Sometimes this can happen with a TV show (even a child-oriented one), a grown-up's fight or discussion, something another child might have done to him, something he saw, etc. Often something has changed or occurred that throws their sense of safety and security off. Just a thought. Hoping you can get some rest soon!

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J.W.

answers from Salinas on

I know its got to be frustrating going from such good sleep to this.... Have you been leaving him more often? Separation anxiety perhaps? Im just learning not to get attached to any of my sons sleep patterns b/c they can and probably will change. But I would NEVER recommend- regardless of what any doc says- dont drug your kids to get them to sleep- its really awful. Their kidneys and liver dont need that terrible stuff. PLEASE try anything but that.
Good luck.

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J. - I can certainly sympathize and, even empathize, with your plight. As a mother of 2 (now older) girls, I can tell you that they both went thru phases where they slept well and, for no apparent reason, had erratic sleep patterns for awhile. If there is no underlying medical reason(s) and no other changes in his life(i.e., even a short stay away from home--did he have any within the past month??) for your son's sleep problems, his sleep pattern will probably revert back to his normal way within another week or two. My best advice is be patient and just stick to the routine he's had before as much as you can. Maybe a little extra story time could help (I don't think you mentioned reading to him, but it's always a good idea, especially if you read books which have a nice rhythm to them--i.e., "Goodnight Moon" and "Love You Forever" and have nothing that a young child would find remotely frightening). Also, it never hurts to give a gentle massage to a child before bedtime. If things still don't resolve within a couple weeks, I might suggest you consult a homeopath--I could recommend one to you that has a couple of young children of her own. Hang in there and good luck! N.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

What did you do to sleep train him?? Could he be having growing pains??

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R.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 18-month-old went through a very similar thing at around 14 months. Part of hers was a change in environment though. We had moved to a new city and it was a much hotter summer. Add to that, we moved into an apartment, so I didn't want to just let her cry for long because of the neighbors. What worked for us was keeping her downstairs with my husband and I while we watched TV (with the windows open and a cup of ice water because of the summer heat). This USUALLY calmed her enough that she would be ready to sleep around midnight. Also, if you're getting stressed, definitely enlist some help comforting him. It is very difficult to calm a screaming child when you're feeling frantic, and my daughter always seemed to respond well to my husband holding her anyway. She had, after all, been with me the whole day. It frequently took a couple of attempts at getting her to lie down and stay asleep, but eventually she would sleep. Over all, I think it took nearly two months for her to get back to a normal sleep schedule, but there are still days when she is just not ready to sleep, even at 9:00. I would also suggest not enforcing the two hour naps so strictly. Maybe he doesn't need two hours at this point, or the timing needs to be adjusted. Maybe he needs two shorter nap-times during the day, or just one at a different time of day. Or, if you find yourself very busy during the day, maybe he is feeling in need of some serious mommy and me time and doesn't know how to express it. There have definitely been some days where the errands, housework, and our three other children have made it very difficult to spend much time with my youngest one and one. Those are usually the days when she is most fussy. I hope this helps a little. I know how frustrating it can be. Hang in there, be flexible, and remember it's only temporary.

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D.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

You described exactly how my son was at that age. He is now almost 9 and sleeps great, but I SO remember those awful nights. Here's what my pediatrician said: You can't make a child eat, sleep or poop, so when one of those things isn't working too well, just do what works for you and the child. Throw out the sleep-training books and do a little experimenting. See what works for your child.

Here is what I did, and I warn you it is very unorthodox - but it totally worked. We bought a twin mattress and put it on the floor in his room when he was 18 months old. Part of his problem was he hated his crib. I would lay down with him for a few minutes on the bed. He would fall asleep, then I would leave. We did this for a few years, even when I had my second child. As he got older that night time snuggling became my favorite part of the day, and we still have those few moments together before he falls asleep. ( He doesn't need me to lay down with him anymore, now it's just a way to reconnect after a busy day)

Like I said, this is isn't for everyone, but I was so desperate to get sleep I would have tried anything! GOOD LUCK!!

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I.D.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Wow, my gilr is 17 months and has been sleeping good so far...I hope this does not happen, but if it does I will not feel alone!

Anyway, I actually had a couple of little incidents recently, which got solved pretty easily, but here it is:

I gave her 1 or 2 extra feedings. One time she would not go down at 8pm, the usual time. She had dinner at 6:30 and was quite a lot of food, but I tried again and she ate so much I was surprised! Then she went to sleep with no problem.

Another time in the middle of the night she woke up and made the sign for food. Very weird because this never happened, but I thought what the heck, and I feed her some cheese and cherios, a little milk - basically quite a snack!, then she went to bed.

Yesterday she would not go down for her nap but was kind of fussy, so I gave her food AGAIN, and she was happy as a clam, eating and eating. She ended up skipping the nap, but slept through the night.

So, I don't know, maybe those growth spurts they talk about when they are newborns keep going on and off...At least that's what it seems to me in this case.

Try it and good luck!!!!!!!!!

P.S. If you take your kid to a day care or do not have your kid watched by you all day, maybe something happened there. Like one time my crazy Italian dad was here from Italy visiting me and the baby, and when she was fussy he said "You can dip her pacifier in some vodka then give it to her, so she can calm down." I could not believe he said that (funny in a way...maybe that's what I got when I was fussy??!), but I wondered if I was not there would he have done that? And would I have ever found out? And would my baby have had some reaction? Anyway, I just thought about this as a note.

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R.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried taking his nap away all together? I know when my son (14months) went through a time where he would wake up every night at the around the same time for about 4 hours and we cut back his nap time and he has been sleeping through the night! He may also be going through a big milestone right now and it's interfering qith his sleep. I would try cutting out his daytime naps and making his bedtime routine as calming and relaxing as possible...nmaybe even a bath before~Also watching TV might be a culprite...Good luck!

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