Ok,recently my husband has gotten back in touch with a cousin of his, which i am very happy that they get to talk. She was in an abusive relationship and her boyfriend at the time would not allow her to talk to my husband because he did not like him. Now that they have started talking again thats all he does is spend hours on the phone and if he isnt talking he is spending all his time text messaging, how do i tell my husband that i am glad he gets to talk to his cousin but why everday all day long?? How do i go about saying it with out making him upset?? I dont think there is anything wrong with them talking everyday but they talk for hours on end. I need some advice!!!
Well...at first things didn't go very well at all, I told my husband the way I felt and it just developed into an argument. We cooled off and talked about it and he still talks to his cousin just not as much when he is home.I feel so much better now that we have disscussed this issue and I thank everyone for their advice!!!
That is kinda weird. I understand that he might of missed his cousin and he wants to keep in touch but not that much or that long. I would just tell him how I felt and if he gets mad then oh well. He should beable to understand where you are coming from. You would like time with him also.
I would suggest you tell him ya'll need to spend some quality time together. Tell him you want to reconnect in a special way or something. But also tell him for those minutes, hours, or the whole day there is to be no phone. But that goes for you too. Maybe tell him that your tired of the world always interfearring with your time with him and the family. Maybe have a family outing to the park or something. Just tell him you want a day with you, him, the kids, and no one else/or anything else. Tell him you want to be selfish for a day and not have to share him with any one else (including his boss) and you NEED him to humor you and comply. Tell him he is the genie in the bottle who must grant your 3 wishes - 1. a day just for the family with no extra people or telephone, 2. a day for you to spend just with him - no kids and no phones. and 3. a day for the kids to spend with their daddy - no you and no phones. Then see if he catches on that you feel his phone is/ time spent on the phone with whomever is becoming more important than you and his immediate family. Good luck!
that sounds really frustrating! he probably doesn't realize he's upsetting you. i would bring it up to him, so that it doesn't eat away at you. surely it won't go on forever, though. i'm sure he's just concerned about her, and interested in what's going on. i doubt he'll be able to keep that up for long. but definitely mention it to him. i don't blame you for being frustrated - i'd be frustrated, too. best of luck!
I am 100%, completely empathetic. I have the same problem, but with a husband that refuses to compromise. It's unfortunate that a person would sacrifice their entire marriage for a single relationship that shouldn't have precedence over their own marriage to begin with.
Weird relationship.. And offcourse I would say something if that was me. You should feel confident about your relationship to know that it is more important than any other he may have.
And well, a relationship with a girl cousin like that, perhaps is not a healthy one. Perhaps that is why her husband, didn't like him. Maybe he knows something you need to know. Call him and ask him.. I would.
And I would definately tell your husband how uncomfortable you feel with that.. say it, or else you are letting him think this is ok with you.. and it's not. It shouldn't be.
Good luck,
C.
I say if he gets mad, then so be it, but you should address this concern immediately. I think you should also look at the phone bill to make sure about who he is really talking to.
I think that even if she is family, that no other person (man OR woman) should be taking that much of his time away from you and your beautiful family. If you otherwise have a good strong relationship, I think you should set aside a time to talk to him (instead of letting it get you so upset that you blurt it out in anger) and let him know that you feel like your needs to have his attention are not being met but that he is are instead meeting his cousins needs. And that you would really love to be able to spend that time with him instead of his cousin.
How would that work? It is to the point and honest in a kind, loving way. You don't want to attack him, because he will just attack back, even if he is wrong. That is just our human nature. I hope that helps...I've been there done that...and God helped us through a tough time, but now things are glorious!
M., I would just let him know how I feel. It is upsetting you and he needs to know about it. He needs to respect your feelings and back off a bit. That is a lot of time he is spending. Your other alternative is to sit back and see if this dies down abit. How long has this been going on?
You've already got a red flag going up or you wouldn't have asked for advice. If it were my husband i would have already gone through the cell phone bill to see the number listed and then i'd check to see who's number that is if it's possible. Sorry, but that is NOT a normal cousin to cousin relationship. Have you met this cousin? I don't want to make you paranoid.. but watch your back.. that's just too close for comfort if you get my drift.
Good luck in finding your answers. I hope for you & the kids it's all innocent.
Very strange he would talk to her that much and text message too! I am close to my cousin, but not like that and talking all the time either! I would keep an eye on that !!
Hope something hasn't happened.............
To close for comfort if you ask me !
I would not approve of all that chatting either !!
How can your husband be on the phone all the time when he is in the army ? Ummmm...........do you see the phone bill ?
How often does he talk to you ?
Kinda hard to try and put a stop to it, then he may get mad!
Tell him he needs to quit talking to her that much.............
