My Husband Is Leaving

My husband was military and I believe that tapes of his dad to listen to, phone calls and a laptop with webcam access really does wonders for the kids and their connection. Sometimes the interaction is all they need. This is spoken from a computer tech. However, tons of options have becom available to keep in contact with loved ones.

its not to young to have activites.. There are play groups just look on the internet.. there is also Gymboree which my daughter LOVED when she was little.. Now she is almost 3 and she is into horse backriding, gymnastic. She also like her play groups.. Hope this helped.. I am proud of you husband.... You as a mom...

I think that you should try to find some "mommy and me" activities. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and they are both in a mommy and me gymnastics class and do a kindermusik class. Keeping him occupied through the day will help to keep his mind off of daddy being gone. My husband and I were apart for about 3 months while we were moving to Texas for his new job and keeping my girls busy during the day definately helped. In the evening I tried to do things that they enjoyed until dinner/bedtime, I know you have a lot longer than 3 months and I wish I could help more.

I also wanted to let you and your husband know how much I appreciate both of your sacrifices. My prayers will be with you and your family and all of the families fighting in this war.

I am a single mom...its hard on my kids when I go to work, or it was when they were small. Its not really the same since his daddy will be gone for a long time, but my babies didnt cry when they walked all the way to the car with me and told me bye. i would usually stand at the car with them for a minute or two and explain I am going to work but would be home as soon as i can. This helped mine, I dont know if it will work for yours. I hope you find a way that works for all of you.

That has to be tuff. Do you have friends with kids? Maybe keep him busy playing with other little ones. Or daycare, church nursey. Im really not sure what u can do. Your son is young so he won't understand why daddy is gone. Im sorry Im not much help. My husband is leaving in June for bnok. We have a 6 month old.

I am also a SAHM. My son (Will) is 19 months old and my husband is also in the military. We are about to be away from him for an 8 month school. The first few days after my husband leaves is the hardest. Will runs to the door asking for daddy, but it does get better--except when he is in trouble then he wants daddy. We put our phones on speakerphone and let him talk to my husband as often as possible even if his attention only lasts a few seconds. We also let him color pictures to send to daddy. I think something else that is important is that you find things that help you, because your son will sence when you are stressed and upset. Hope that helps!

First, I am sorry for your husband's deployment and thank your family for the sacrifice. My brother in law just got back from Iraq last night and his dauther had just turned one when he left. He is in a different branch, Marines, but they were able to talk fairly frequently and of course they included her as much as possible. Maybe make a video tape with Daddy explining that he is gone and that he loves him. If possible make a few and wait to introduce others later. Just an idea. Hope your little guy does okay and your big guy stays safe.

with a one year old is has to be really hard, because you can't explain what daddy is doing when he's gone, but there are a few things that may make it easier. i know that several places are making life size daddy pictures for kids of service persons, and i have heard that there is a way to have that pic scanned onto a pillow, so he could have his daddy pillow to take everywhere. It sounds kinda weird, but i have heard that it is helping little ones cope. Also, if you know of other wives who have small kids and dads who are deployed, try starting a play group for the kids. it can help the kids, who will all be in the dame situation, as well as the wives, who will be able to share ideas and be there for each other when necessary. keeping photo albums and talking about dad while he's gone normally helps, but it may be a little hard with such a young one. just try your best to tell him as much as he can understand and keep him as active as you can, and good luck.

I don't know which branch of military your husband belongs to, but I am sure that they probably offer some counseling or support groups for families who have one or both parents away on duty.I would ask the head of his unit, or maybe one of the other wives??

Hi A..
You can go to www.mymommyconnection.com to find a playgroup in your area.
You can also register at any local gymnastics gym, like the little gym, gymboree or J&R, here in New Braunfels.
You can also go to www.meetups.com and find a Moms Group in your area.
A swim class would be great for you and your son this summer, too. Contact your local Parks and Rec center. New Braunfels Parks and Rec is a great place.
You might also want to join a group at meetups.com for wives whose husbands are deployed just to be able to talk to someone about any issues you might have that they would understand and be able to help you with.
While Daddy is away, keep personal items close to your son. For example, you can make a pillow case out of one of Daddy's Tshirts for your son to lie on while he plays or naps. You can also have a picture of Daddy screened onto one of your son's pillow cases or on to one of your son's favorite "blankies".

Take Care!
D.

One activity that your son isn't too young for is swimming lessons. Most places have programs where you have to be in the water with them at that age. I did one last year with my daughter and she loved it. It was basically water familiarization and it gave us something to do for two weeks anyway. Since your dh will be gone in June that would be a good time if you can get registered somewhere. I don't know where you are located but I know that the swimming lessons in Copperas Cove start June 11th.

My dh is leaving in October for the 15 months and I have decided to move home to be around family for that time. I know not everyone is able to do that or even wants to but that is the solution we have come up with.

Some things that might help are video recorded messages from your dh to your son, like bedtime stories or just messages or anything to let your son interact more with daddy except over the phone. If you search the military family websites there is a lot of good information on activites and things to do to help children through deployments, even really little ones.

Good luck!

I feel your pain. Poor little guy! I suggest video taping your husband talking to your son or reading a book to the camera. That way your son feels like daddy isn't so far away. Video a few different books and have him tell your son good night, those sorts of things. Try to find a playgroup with peers his age. I know the library usually has reading times for different age groups and some have craft time afterwards. Also look for MOPS groups (mothers of preschoolers). My kids loved going to that stuff when we lived overseas.
HTH!

A.,

My name is D. I am a 23 year old stay at home mother of 2 boys. A 3 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. Let me start off by saying Thank you to your husband for serving his country!! He is much appreciated. I could not understand not having my husband for that long. However my husband works long hours almost 7 days a week so I spend a lot of time with just the kids. I know that sometimes I need a break and the kids need to play so I became a member at 24 hour fitness with my friend. They have an amazing play program for the kids. A huge McDonalds type jungle gym and lots of toys to play with. The kids love it and I get a break, not to mention do something that makes me feel better about myself. It might not be your thing but it has really helped me. Please let me know if you would like to try it out or just get together with another stay at home mom.

D.

I don't have any advice; I just wanted to let you know that I thank you and your husband for all of the sacrifices you have to make to protect our country. Thank you and I hope someone has some great advice for you, God Bless.

Hi A.,
I understand completely what you are going through. My husband is on his third tour in Iraq right now, and we have 5 children (ages 13, 12, 7, 2, and 9 months.) The 7 year old and 2 year old are the ones that are taking this one the hardest. We are lucky enough though, cuz my hubby and I both have webcams and he has internet access in his room, so we are able to communicate every day and he is able to see the kids and they can see him (which is a God send.) At any rate, I just wanted to offer you words of encouragement...YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH!!! Our 2 year old is very close with my husband, and he was very upset for the first couple of weeks, crying and constantly asking where his daddy went. He still asks sometimes, but my hubby has been gone for going on 4 months. I am not going to lie and tell you that it is easy, I think it is harder when the little ones are so young. However, if you show him pictures every day, have your dh make some recordings and videos before he leaves, etc. he will atleast have some things to make him feel closer to his daddy. Also, pillow cases with daddy's pic on it or a daddy doll (it is a soft doll with your hubby's pic on it) might also help him to cope better. Good luck sweety, and if you need anything, you can send me a PM!!!

There's always toddler gymnastics. My son loves that.

I think taping bed time stories is an AWESOME idea - as well as taping a good night routine. A couple of poster size prints of daddy might help, too. MPIX prints them fairly cheaply.

Make sure you have someone to talk to, too - babies seem to have ESP, and they can pick up rapidly on the fact that their mommy is unhappy or upset for ANY reason.

My friend is going through the same thing. What she has done is get something special from dad. I sell steel my heart so she ordered the kids bracelets with their names on them and pictures of things that the dad and kids did together. On the inside of the bracelet she had a special message from the dad put in the bracelet. The kids wear the bracelet daily so they always have a little piece of their dad w/ them, made special just for them. ____@____.com
Not that you would have to buy anything from me, but if you could find something special for them to keep close it might help them. Best wishes and God bless.
J.