So I was just talking to my girlfriend who is an animal obsessed woman. She is alraedy becoming that "cat lady" who has a house full of animals and doesn't quite no how to deal with most humans. She is a PETA member and her entire FB page is all about the rescuing of all kinds of animals as well as making everyone aware of the cruelties to animals. This is all very admirable and I commend people who are the protectors of all animal kind. This is where it gets freaky. I read her the post of what you would do incase of a fire. She said are pets in the house? The poster didn't mention animals. So I said to her, "what if you were walking past a burning building there was one person and one dog in there and you could only save one, which would you save? Without hesitation she said "the dog hands down". I asked her why? She said " I don't know the person , they could be a mass murderer who got trapped in the building or just plain evil person, the dog however, is an innocent, no criminal backgroud no evilness". I get her point, but my point is she doesn't know if this person was indeed a mass murderer so just to play it safe she rescues the dog. I am speechless. She didn't know why I was upset. I personalized it more by giving her another example. My son and a dog in the building who would you save? She said she would try to grab both. I said they are on opposite ends of the bldg, which would you go to first. She said since my son is 7 she would yell to him that she was coming go get the animal and grab my son. She was confidant she'd get them both out. Now she loves my son, but her love for animals is greater then everything. I of course said to her, you are aware I won't be leaving you alone with my son anymore in case there was a fire? She said I am baffeling her since it was only a hypothetical question. Which it was but the truth is my houose could catch on fire, that is a real possibility. Am I over reacting? She isn't upset with me, she is laughing it off, but I am upset, how am I friends with someone who would save a dog over a stranger? Ladies let me know what you think.
Ladies, thanks for the response. Although some of you had strong comments on the "hypothetical" aspects of the questions. It was just that... a question. I love/hate this site as too many people forget that the poster is asking a question and if the question annoys you, you should pass on it. That's what I do and I am sure many posters too. To clear up any confusion my GF isn't a regular babysitter for my son, it was more like a knee jerk reaction to what she said and I wouldn't down the road have her at the top of my list as my go to sitter. She is a vegan, doesn't wear leather, has to check every ingredient on her make up, soaps everything and I know that some people just relate better to animals. I'm not gonna ditch her as my friend as we've known eachother for years and I know she is a good person. It just never occured to me that she would hold an animals life in higher regard then a human's even one she didn't know. That's all.
Not overreacting. If she'd save an animal before a child... So not overreacting.
I've had animals and they were very loved. But I'd still choose to save my kids before the animals.
Peoples experiences shape who they are. For this woman animals have always been her friends, her companions, they have never let her down. Many people in this world are evil, thoughtless, and cruel. Maybe she has been around more than her fare share of this type of person? We all have our passions, yours is your son, hers is her love for animals. Do not judge her for her love, for you have never walked in her shoes. But, if you no longer feel comfortable with her as a babysitter, that is your right, just find someone else. I would save the human first, but could understand her impulse since most animals are nicer, more loving, and more accepting, than most humans.
You already realize this woman doesn't do relationship in the "normal" way. She is comfortable with animals. She is uncomfortable with most people. Who's to say why? Genetic programming? A traumatic experience? Asperger's syndrome? Whatever the "cause," like most of us, she has ideas, theories, and reasons for her preferences, but in fact, they are probably just feelings that she has – and tries to justify when pushed to explain.
It's human nature, but it can look pretty odd when we see other people's versions of it. Actually, animals have these deep, natural preferences, too, but they don't have to try to explain them.
Isn't it wonderful that the fire is just a hypothetical situation? I can understand that you're upset, because you want your son to be safe above any other consideration, and you want your friends to value his life as much as you do.
But are you creating a "what if?" scenario (that will probably never happen) for the purpose of straightening out your friend? She won't be able to change her feelings, nor can you. Feeling have a life of their own, and when we confuse them with concepts, like "I FEEL that people/animals should be more important than animals/people," we can create a great deal of pointless argument. No matter what either of you say, she would react in the most natural way for her if some terrible emergency arose. And you would, too.
My first thought is why ask such stupid questions if you won't want stupid answers.
When people ask me how I control my children I tell them I beat them.
She has no clue what she would do in a burning building with your son or you for that matter. She would work on pure adrenaline. She might just stand there and save no one, she may be heroic and save everything, even the pictures.
If I lived life like there would be a fire which is a possibility not a probability I would go no where and be a hermit.
I think the woman may have some borderline personality disorder, for that she should be your friend not your sons babysitter.
I see why it could be kind of funny and/or upsetting, however I do think in a real-life emergency she would definitely grab the child. If you were on a tower with a stanger baby and your mother and you had to throw someone off who would you choose to save?.....don't you just hate this kind of questions??!?? I say laugh it off (and don't leave your son with her just in case I am wrong!!!!!).
Here's another hypothetical question..... what if it were her son or your son in the building and you could only save one? Just something to think about. (I'm sure she'd say her son. What would YOU say? Hypothetical questions are just food for thought. Nobody really knows what they'd do in a split second.)
Anyhoo, I would just shrug my shoulders and move on. What are you going to do? Change her mind? She sounds a little off. Many, many people are a little off. Don't obsess over them or the choices they make. Of course you won't let her watch your son. But otherwise, why bother worrying about her choices? You'll run across a lot of people like her in your life. Best to just move along and let them be instead of over-analyzing them. It's a huge waste of your time and energy.
I see you are in NY, so it's obvious that you weren't talking to my sister...my sister is the same way. The only way I can describe it is that she can't/doesn't have what the majority would consider a 'healthy' relationship with people. I don't know if this applies to your friend, but my sister is a self-proclaimed 'loner' and that's why I think she prefers animals over people. Maybe it's a connection issue where pets can't hurt her while people can. Animals don't talk back and love unconditionally. And you can pick your animals but can't pick your family. How far does she go with PETA/cruelty to animals? I can only assume she is a vegetarian/vegan and doesn't wear leather? Checks all her beauty products that make sure they aren't animal tested? I'm only asking because some people see PETA/animals as a trendy cause.
I can only guess that she has more of a connection with animals than people. Not that it's the norm, and it IS baffling. I can also assume she doesn't have children herself, because the answer would **hopefully** be drastically different.
I get so irritated when I talk with people that are pet obsessed. I don't like it when people refer to thier pets as children. When they go sa far as to say they love them like they children. They are not children. Once you have children, you know that there is a huge differance. They are great companions and they fill a need. They are great for lonely people that don't have actual people. But they are not people. I just saw where they are building a several million dollar pet hotel with pet spas, massages, and facials. All while there are starving children only blocks away in any major city. A $10 mosquito net could save a child from Malaria in Africa. Shameful to waste resources on pets when people do without.
Oh, golly, we're back to the '60s! Situational ethics! Tiresome! If I were walking past a burning building, I would call 911. If I did have the opportunity and the skill (!) to make a rescue, I would rescue the one I could get to, and then go for the second one. By that time (this is my scenario, remember) the fire department is there and they're rescuing people, dogs, cats, and gerbils all over the building.
Situation ethics questions are made expressly to tie people into knots! Let's stick with real life instead, OK? There are enough challenges there.
um.....maybe a little obsessed with animals, but yeah, i get your concern, maybe you can seriously ask her what she would do. if you're that uneasy about her keeping your child then don't let her you don't have to tell her why
ah yeah. if her cat BIT your son she would prob blame your son.
Okay, just wanted to say that I agree with you, I wouldn't be leaving her alone with my child either. ESPECIALLY if she was alone with your child and an animal!
Her dedication to animals is wonderful, though yes, her socialization and inability to put a child's life over that of an animal is frightening, even in a hypothetical situation, which can reveal how she really feels. I wouldn't use her as a babysitter if it will make you feel insecure, but I wouldn't discount her as a friend.
Of course really, we would ask my dad these things, who would he save, the kids or mom, and he always said "your mother" but he still loved us too and protected us fiercely.
