My Four Yr Old Doesn't like to Be Out in Public?

Have you tried letting her pick a favorite doll or toy to take with her? It sounds like you need to find out if this is some type of anxiety issue. My son(who is now 8) has gone through stages of complaining about wanting to go home. Sometimes he was bored, sometimes he was overwhelmed if the place was too loud or busy, and sometimes it was something as simple as needing to go to the bathroom but didn't want to go in a public restroom. Bringing a toy or snack, listening to music with headphones, and having a stroller as a "home base" seemed to help him. Now he's old enough that before we go somewhere I can ask him to make a plan of things to bring to stay calm and not get bored.

I have twin girls and they were both like this. Anywhere we would go we'd have about 45min til they were wanting to go home. Even at their 4yr b-day party one of the girls wanted to go home. They have gotten better now that they are almost 5 but they still rather be home. When we are getting ready to leave they are already asking if they can put on their pj's and play such and such when we get home.

For some reason, two of my kids went through this phase between the ages of 3/4. I used to get so frustrated with my oldest. Now my 4 yr old is going through it. He likes doing things, but would probably be content to stay home non-stop if I let him. My 6.5 yr old now loves being away from home, so it was just a phase. I'm thinking its a phase for my 4 yr old too. I am betting the same for your daughter.

It may be as much that she doesn't necessarily like to be out in public as that she feels more SECURE at home! Need to talk about this...reminders, mentioning how much fun things are to do/experience, etc.

When she mentions going home, do you ask, "WHY? When we are having so much fun. I sill wanted to........." etc. I would NOT give in to her. Maybe work on 10 more minutes, then 15, etc, depending on the situation. Sometimes, you just CAN'T, particularly when your're in the middle of a movie, etc. Try to teach to to stick with things to the end........something she's NOT experienced in relationships so far.

I think she probably starts to feel insecure w/ unknown people - even cashiers, other people shopping, etc......when she's out. This creates insecurity. Hold her hand, keep your hand on her back, leg etc. SOMETHING to conitnually remind her that you are there and give her a sense of security.

She may remember MORE than you realize. I've experienced this with a little girl I've helped raise. She is 7 now, but man! This child can remember the smallest details about all kinds of things!! She talks about things that DID happen when she was 2 & 3.

Just keep on working on making her feel secure and talk!

.

I think it might just be a stage! I have 3 kids and they all seemed to skip the terrible 2s but don't get me started when it comes to their terrible 4s!!! Especially my daughter. She would throw tantrums all the time, claim that she had "shy" time and all kinds of things. I think sometimes 4 year olds like to pull out the "toddler card" when it's convenient and other times the "big kid card." Just give it some time and see if she grows out of it before deciding if it roots from her upbringing as a baby, I think it's just normal 4 year old behavior... and girls love extra drama!

J.,

Thank goodness they have you now. Your little sweetpee just might be going through a stage. I would try to have her bring her favorite huggie doll or toy with her.

D.